(no subject)
An letter from Israel
Good morning Americans!
We at the Israel government would like to wish you a good round of cheer for your help in our attacks against Gaza. Since many of the Americans don't realize all that you do for us, we wanted to let you know just how much we appreciate your help. As we write this, we figured lets cut our two hour lunch short and spend some time reminiscing with our good friends the Americans. Lets first say that our attacks on Gaza where extremely successful, since we have very powerful bombs, fighter planes, and attack helicopters given to us by your patriotic Americans! Oh wait, my diplomat friend Habudabi just told me that's not politically correct, I forgot! You actually don't give us weapons, you just give us two billion in good old US dollars every year. . .and that well we HAVE to spend on military hardware. Yeah you would be upset if we didn't buy good old American bombs huh? They work very good, they blow up very good you know. . . we both know that. . .no worries. That's true, how could I have been so forgetful! We don't actually like to say that we are GIVEN BOMBS from the US, so we do that money exchange thing, weapons transfer that makes it look not so bad for you kind Americans. Wouldn't want you all thinking that you are directly killing our neighbors! Ha, you all don't want to sleep with that notion! Oh but that reminds me, we must thank you again for letting us attack our neighbors, with little press on those pesky dead people and babies dying all around. I mean if people actually talked about those dead people and over 4000 wounded, yikes my boy Habudabi reminds me we would probably get our US funding cut next week! Ouch! Actually no worry, you good ole Americans trust us so much with the money, you don't even audit what we do with the money. Another thank you to our American buddies for trusting us Israelis to monitor ourselves. So again before we finish, we must also think the US government and politicians, everyone in congress and your representatives for ignoring our little quibbles we have over here. I mean really we are better knowing about this. . .you really don't need to know the extremes we go to, like blocking medical aid to the wounded, cutting off the electricity, or bombing buildings known to be United Nations offices!
As your President Bush leaves office, we again thank him for being quite on this matter. No reason for anyone to worry what we do here in the middle east. . .no reason to show the dead bodies of our neighbors. And finally, we appreciate the propaganda from all of you, in your efforts to make Hamas look like the most evil thing since Satan. You have done a great job. And no it's not to much trouble. . for if you are middle class, you only pay about $20.00 a year towards the bombs that we use against our neighbors. What's 20.00 for a little peace in the mideast, my friend Habudabi reminds me!
Thank you again
Signed, the israeli government.
Good morning Americans!
We at the Israel government would like to wish you a good round of cheer for your help in our attacks against Gaza. Since many of the Americans don't realize all that you do for us, we wanted to let you know just how much we appreciate your help. As we write this, we figured lets cut our two hour lunch short and spend some time reminiscing with our good friends the Americans. Lets first say that our attacks on Gaza where extremely successful, since we have very powerful bombs, fighter planes, and attack helicopters given to us by your patriotic Americans! Oh wait, my diplomat friend Habudabi just told me that's not politically correct, I forgot! You actually don't give us weapons, you just give us two billion in good old US dollars every year. . .and that well we HAVE to spend on military hardware. Yeah you would be upset if we didn't buy good old American bombs huh? They work very good, they blow up very good you know. . . we both know that. . .no worries. That's true, how could I have been so forgetful! We don't actually like to say that we are GIVEN BOMBS from the US, so we do that money exchange thing, weapons transfer that makes it look not so bad for you kind Americans. Wouldn't want you all thinking that you are directly killing our neighbors! Ha, you all don't want to sleep with that notion! Oh but that reminds me, we must thank you again for letting us attack our neighbors, with little press on those pesky dead people and babies dying all around. I mean if people actually talked about those dead people and over 4000 wounded, yikes my boy Habudabi reminds me we would probably get our US funding cut next week! Ouch! Actually no worry, you good ole Americans trust us so much with the money, you don't even audit what we do with the money. Another thank you to our American buddies for trusting us Israelis to monitor ourselves. So again before we finish, we must also think the US government and politicians, everyone in congress and your representatives for ignoring our little quibbles we have over here. I mean really we are better knowing about this. . .you really don't need to know the extremes we go to, like blocking medical aid to the wounded, cutting off the electricity, or bombing buildings known to be United Nations offices!
As your President Bush leaves office, we again thank him for being quite on this matter. No reason for anyone to worry what we do here in the middle east. . .no reason to show the dead bodies of our neighbors. And finally, we appreciate the propaganda from all of you, in your efforts to make Hamas look like the most evil thing since Satan. You have done a great job. And no it's not to much trouble. . for if you are middle class, you only pay about $20.00 a year towards the bombs that we use against our neighbors. What's 20.00 for a little peace in the mideast, my friend Habudabi reminds me!
Thank you again
Signed, the israeli government.