I remember back when I was in high school.....
tonight i graduated. go me. I remember back when I first got live journal...that was sohp year....thanx melissa. man, and to think that this isn't even the fist half of life.
last night josh and I got in a stupid fight. I'm not even sure what it was about. he didn't even give me a hug at graduation. I was having so much fun up until I saw him....then it was like the world stopped and I couldn't keep myself from crying. I thought it would be so easy. I was totally wrong. my grandma got a reservation at Bravo's and she had a reservation for him. I was so embarrassed to tell her that he wasn't comming. you just don't understand my family. so erin went instead, of course. I love erin with all my heart....where would I be without her. when the choir sang "friends are freinds forever" we looked at each other and cried. I love her so much. I would be a totally differnt person if it weren't for her. *sigh*. but sadly all I can think about it josh...and at the same time, I don't know what to think. it's more like a constant empty sigh. man! it's just stupid josh!!!! and I want to be with him and I'm so afraid of what he's doing right now...terribly affraid. I want to call him but I think it will be a terrible conversation. I think I will say the wrong things. or I think I'll just whine and drive him nuts. what am I thinking...I should just stop. should I write him a letter? I guess I'll sleep on it. I can't take this. I hate this. I told my daddy that I'm single and don't want to be and I hurt because I am....and he kised me and told me he loves me. and I was so happy cuz there's no guy in the world as fantastic as my daddy.
I'm done being gay. I gotta go to bed. i love....
~Ly
last night josh and I got in a stupid fight. I'm not even sure what it was about. he didn't even give me a hug at graduation. I was having so much fun up until I saw him....then it was like the world stopped and I couldn't keep myself from crying. I thought it would be so easy. I was totally wrong. my grandma got a reservation at Bravo's and she had a reservation for him. I was so embarrassed to tell her that he wasn't comming. you just don't understand my family. so erin went instead, of course. I love erin with all my heart....where would I be without her. when the choir sang "friends are freinds forever" we looked at each other and cried. I love her so much. I would be a totally differnt person if it weren't for her. *sigh*. but sadly all I can think about it josh...and at the same time, I don't know what to think. it's more like a constant empty sigh. man! it's just stupid josh!!!! and I want to be with him and I'm so afraid of what he's doing right now...terribly affraid. I want to call him but I think it will be a terrible conversation. I think I will say the wrong things. or I think I'll just whine and drive him nuts. what am I thinking...I should just stop. should I write him a letter? I guess I'll sleep on it. I can't take this. I hate this. I told my daddy that I'm single and don't want to be and I hurt because I am....and he kised me and told me he loves me. and I was so happy cuz there's no guy in the world as fantastic as my daddy.
I'm done being gay. I gotta go to bed. i love....
~Ly