American Beauty
a town is nothing without the people you love being in it. Not just that, but a town is only so good as the people in it. Or in my case, the people around it. I never know the right thing to say, i guess the idea is to say nothing at all. I am sick of all of it, i wanna go home. I am oh so terrible at this.
Love is something i havent felt in so long. I guess its good cuz once i find it I will cherish it more. I keep looking for love and I need to stop that. I need to stop looking for anyone. More than that I need to quit filling my life up with meaningless bullshit. Its fun and all, but after a while it really does start to wear. Not only on my life but on my heart too. It makes it 10 times worse than I could have ever imagined. And when everyone around you except one friend has someone special in their life, its hard not to gravitate to the "flavor of the moment" way of thinking. When everyone has their own plans, and own shit going on, its hard to be the 5th wheel all the time. Specially when you were so used to being on the inside of all the bullshit.
I feel like I am being pushed in a million directions. And i dont know which is the one I want to travel down. I keep saying that I am not happy, but i dont think that is the case. I think I am happy, but everyone is pushing me so far to the edge of insanity that it makes me feel depressed. I need to face the fact that I am never going to make everyone happy. Some one will always be let down or disappointed. Heartbroken or mad. I guess I am like that too. Heartbroken and let down is the case.
Love is something i havent felt in so long. I guess its good cuz once i find it I will cherish it more. I keep looking for love and I need to stop that. I need to stop looking for anyone. More than that I need to quit filling my life up with meaningless bullshit. Its fun and all, but after a while it really does start to wear. Not only on my life but on my heart too. It makes it 10 times worse than I could have ever imagined. And when everyone around you except one friend has someone special in their life, its hard not to gravitate to the "flavor of the moment" way of thinking. When everyone has their own plans, and own shit going on, its hard to be the 5th wheel all the time. Specially when you were so used to being on the inside of all the bullshit.
I feel like I am being pushed in a million directions. And i dont know which is the one I want to travel down. I keep saying that I am not happy, but i dont think that is the case. I think I am happy, but everyone is pushing me so far to the edge of insanity that it makes me feel depressed. I need to face the fact that I am never going to make everyone happy. Some one will always be let down or disappointed. Heartbroken or mad. I guess I am like that too. Heartbroken and let down is the case.