I'm already somebody's baby
I'm at the moment in which I have so many things to do that I do nothing.
I'm so overwhelmed by where to begin that I just avoid doing any and everything.
I sang in my last vespers tonight which was bittersweet, but didn't hit me in the way I thought it might. We had rehearsals out the wazoo this weekend.
I feel to utterly helpless and so I'm casting away all the feeling I have about everything and even this frustrates me.
Yes, frustration, you're coming in loud and clear.
I've been feeling so weird since grandpa died. Not in a mournful grief stricken way, but in a completely vapid way. Like I have no emotion to give to anyone anymore.
I don't feel sad. But I don't feel happy. Somehow I've given up being sad in exchange for not feeling much of anything instead. I'm not even excited about Christmas coming up. I went to three parties this weekend, drank fun drinks, played games, went hot tubbing and caroling.
Yet I feel nothing but a vague aura of pain.
I know it seems as if I'm being intentionally cryptic, but I truly wish I could describe it in more detail.
Nic's baby is coming soon. Adrienne broke up with him via myspace message and we watched silly shows on tv for hours and hours then passed out drinking 40s while he pretended to not be bothered by it. I love hanging out with nic, but I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person for being friends with a guy that's not my boyfriend. Or maybe I'm just annoyed with the sphynxs and their glares when I walk in. I would never cheat on brent lee and have never so much as touched anyone else in a more than friends way. But I don't feel like I should have to constantly prove that to people.
Life is weird.
I have a headache and seriously need to START on an 8 page research paper that is due at 9 am tomorrow.
lastly, miss melissa and i are desperately in love with the guy from twilight in a hilarious way.
the end.
I'm so overwhelmed by where to begin that I just avoid doing any and everything.
I sang in my last vespers tonight which was bittersweet, but didn't hit me in the way I thought it might. We had rehearsals out the wazoo this weekend.
I feel to utterly helpless and so I'm casting away all the feeling I have about everything and even this frustrates me.
Yes, frustration, you're coming in loud and clear.
I've been feeling so weird since grandpa died. Not in a mournful grief stricken way, but in a completely vapid way. Like I have no emotion to give to anyone anymore.
I don't feel sad. But I don't feel happy. Somehow I've given up being sad in exchange for not feeling much of anything instead. I'm not even excited about Christmas coming up. I went to three parties this weekend, drank fun drinks, played games, went hot tubbing and caroling.
Yet I feel nothing but a vague aura of pain.
I know it seems as if I'm being intentionally cryptic, but I truly wish I could describe it in more detail.
Nic's baby is coming soon. Adrienne broke up with him via myspace message and we watched silly shows on tv for hours and hours then passed out drinking 40s while he pretended to not be bothered by it. I love hanging out with nic, but I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person for being friends with a guy that's not my boyfriend. Or maybe I'm just annoyed with the sphynxs and their glares when I walk in. I would never cheat on brent lee and have never so much as touched anyone else in a more than friends way. But I don't feel like I should have to constantly prove that to people.
Life is weird.
I have a headache and seriously need to START on an 8 page research paper that is due at 9 am tomorrow.
lastly, miss melissa and i are desperately in love with the guy from twilight in a hilarious way.
the end.