(no subject)
So, Libby's been breaking her "no more than a week between posts" rule. Sowwy. On the other hand, the previous week had less than a week passing between posts, so maybe it evens out.
It's looking like my Dad will have a job next week. It's not confirmed, but he's been having some very positive interviews with one particular company. So that's very happy, but I want to vent about something related and not so happy.
I've always assumed that as soon as he got a job, I'd start asking for a pet again. I love animals, I loved the kind of love they give you, and I've really missed having one around. Dad's been really stressed by not having a job, and that's a good part of the reason that he hasn't allowed me to get a new pet, even when I've offered to pay for said pet and all supplies myself. As a lot of the stress came from not having a job, it stands to reason that I'd try asking when he got one. But I've got some worries.
One; I don't want to work up the courage to ask just to have him say no again. I REALLY don't want to.
Two; When Dad gave Kipling away, he didn't warn us. If there is a problem with my new pet, and Dad gives it away, he might not give warning. I don't want to go the attachment and unexpected loss again.
Three, the big one; What pet would it be? The one pet I want most in the world is a cat. I like all animals, but cats are very special to me. I'm a cat person to the core. If I got anything else, deep down I'd know I was settling for less. But a cat is also the pet Dad is most likely to have trouble with. Dad loves order and control. He's a dog person. Dogs are naturally inclined to hierarchy. When a dog learns you're alpha, that's it. Unless you abuse it, your word is law. So if you get a dog of a calmer breed, such as a Labrador, and you do a good job training it, you're set for a very orderly life, pet-wise. Cats are different. Cats do not like hierarchies. Contrary to popular belief they don't even need to be in charge, strictly speaking. They like equality and flexibility. You can pick a few things you teach them not to do; we could keep Kipling off the counter. They pick a few things they teach you not to do; we let Kipling in and out according to his pleasure. With dogs, you train them or they train you. With cats, you adapt to each other as a pair. I like that kind of relationship, but Dad doesn't.
One implication is that he's unlikely to say yes to a cat. That's the least serious implication; if I pick my moment well, that can be overcome. The serious implication is that he could have serious conflicts with the cat itself. For example; midnight prowling. Indoor or outdoor, cats like taking a survey of their territory in the middle of the night. When, how long and how loud depend on the cat. The cat might decide to adapt to me in this matter; keep the prowls short and silent. I might just need to leave the bedroom door open a crack. If the cat won't adapt to me, I can adapt to the cat; learn to fall asleep before the prowling starts (I can be a pretty heavy sleeper once I'm out) or understand that I'll be awake at some point in the middle of the night and use that time to get a chore or two done. Dad wouldn't adapt. If I get a cat, I'd better hope it's quiet at night, or the Kipling situation will repeat.
So either I get a non-cat pet and deal with the fact that it was the second choice, or I wait until I've moved out before I get a pet. It's a very frustrating conclusion to come to.
It's looking like my Dad will have a job next week. It's not confirmed, but he's been having some very positive interviews with one particular company. So that's very happy, but I want to vent about something related and not so happy.
I've always assumed that as soon as he got a job, I'd start asking for a pet again. I love animals, I loved the kind of love they give you, and I've really missed having one around. Dad's been really stressed by not having a job, and that's a good part of the reason that he hasn't allowed me to get a new pet, even when I've offered to pay for said pet and all supplies myself. As a lot of the stress came from not having a job, it stands to reason that I'd try asking when he got one. But I've got some worries.
One; I don't want to work up the courage to ask just to have him say no again. I REALLY don't want to.
Two; When Dad gave Kipling away, he didn't warn us. If there is a problem with my new pet, and Dad gives it away, he might not give warning. I don't want to go the attachment and unexpected loss again.
Three, the big one; What pet would it be? The one pet I want most in the world is a cat. I like all animals, but cats are very special to me. I'm a cat person to the core. If I got anything else, deep down I'd know I was settling for less. But a cat is also the pet Dad is most likely to have trouble with. Dad loves order and control. He's a dog person. Dogs are naturally inclined to hierarchy. When a dog learns you're alpha, that's it. Unless you abuse it, your word is law. So if you get a dog of a calmer breed, such as a Labrador, and you do a good job training it, you're set for a very orderly life, pet-wise. Cats are different. Cats do not like hierarchies. Contrary to popular belief they don't even need to be in charge, strictly speaking. They like equality and flexibility. You can pick a few things you teach them not to do; we could keep Kipling off the counter. They pick a few things they teach you not to do; we let Kipling in and out according to his pleasure. With dogs, you train them or they train you. With cats, you adapt to each other as a pair. I like that kind of relationship, but Dad doesn't.
One implication is that he's unlikely to say yes to a cat. That's the least serious implication; if I pick my moment well, that can be overcome. The serious implication is that he could have serious conflicts with the cat itself. For example; midnight prowling. Indoor or outdoor, cats like taking a survey of their territory in the middle of the night. When, how long and how loud depend on the cat. The cat might decide to adapt to me in this matter; keep the prowls short and silent. I might just need to leave the bedroom door open a crack. If the cat won't adapt to me, I can adapt to the cat; learn to fall asleep before the prowling starts (I can be a pretty heavy sleeper once I'm out) or understand that I'll be awake at some point in the middle of the night and use that time to get a chore or two done. Dad wouldn't adapt. If I get a cat, I'd better hope it's quiet at night, or the Kipling situation will repeat.
So either I get a non-cat pet and deal with the fact that it was the second choice, or I wait until I've moved out before I get a pet. It's a very frustrating conclusion to come to.