(no subject)
My mother taught me the circle of life - “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!”
My mother taught me about contortionism - “Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!”
My mother taught me about hypocrisy - “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times - Don’t exaggerate!”
My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done - “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
My mother taught me about behaviour modification - “Stop acting like your father!”
My mother taught me about religion - “You’d better pray that comes out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me about time travel - “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
My mother taught me logic - “Because I said so, that’s why.”
My mother taught me foresight - “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
My mother taught me irony - “Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
My mother taught me about the science of Osmosis - “Shut your mouth and eat your dinner!”
My mother taught me about contortionism - “Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!”
My mother taught me about hypocrisy - “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times - Don’t exaggerate!”
My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done - “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
My mother taught me about behaviour modification - “Stop acting like your father!”
My mother taught me about religion - “You’d better pray that comes out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me about time travel - “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
My mother taught me logic - “Because I said so, that’s why.”
My mother taught me foresight - “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
My mother taught me irony - “Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
My mother taught me about the science of Osmosis - “Shut your mouth and eat your dinner!”