(no subject)
I never thought I would say this, but I feel like God is after me. I feel like I've done something wrong, or maybe everything wrong, so he's making all this bad stuff happen to me. I just don't know. I don't like blaming things on God, but these things that are happening are all out of my hands. I couldn't have done anything to make all of this happen to me. First our dog got sick, which pretty much tore my mom apart. She loves that dog & watching her struggle to even get up in the mornings is wearing her down emotionally which is just hard to know what to do. And then we go to Texas for Thanksgiving, and my uncle unexpectedly goes to the emergency room && finds out he has a collapsed/severly bruised lung. Then after that trip we come home expecting a fun Christmas with Jeff in town, but that didn't happen because nothing about this Christmas was normal. My grandma went to the emergency room two days before Christmas and ended up having blood clots in her lungs, and she had to stay until after Christmas. So granted, no Christmas Eve at grandmas house, something i look forward to all year long. And now we just found out that my cousin went to the emergency room today because she was coughing up blood; and it turns out her cell count is all out of wack which means she's fighting some kind of infection inside her body. :'[ Im absolutey sick of this. Im tired of being worried, and it just keeps getting to be more and more and I just don't know what to do anymore. What does God want from me? fjdosijvxlj :'[ ughhh. I'm so empty.