my heart's crippled...
i've been giving out chances and baby all you do is let me down
you think it will be fine again, but not this time around...
do you even know that i am letting you go?
do you even care to notice?
i haven't heard from you in over a month...
have you noticed that i have deleted you and your pictures?
do you care that i have stopped calling you and emailing you?
you have stopped responding to me ever since i got home..
i have no idea what happened this time.
no clue what caused my broken heart again.
you used to shine so bright but i watched all of it fade...
when did you fall out of love with me?
when did i no longer become important to you?
when did you decide to let me go?
better yet, why?
is it the distance?
is it because i don't look like i once did?
is it because i got too close to your family?
is it because i loved you too much?
cuz i need you so much?
or i want you so much?
am i not cute enough to be shone on your arm anymore?
do i do too much?
am i too independent?
are you ashamed that i have more than you do?
what's funny....is that all of that means nothing when we are like this.
it means nothing to me.
not talking to you is like not breathing to me.
i don't function properly.
i can't focus.
i feel like everything i do is forced.
we didn't even fight this time!!!!!
it all just seemed to come to an abrupt halt, and there was no warning.
nothing that i could do to prevent it, and once it got here there was nothing i could do to fix it.
you just seemed to....let go.
like it was the most natural thing in the world.
you stopped calling.
you stopped emailing.
you just seemed to stop responding to me in all shapes and forms...
things i do no longer seem to have a purpose.
life feels to have stopped...
and yes damn it i am wallowing in self pity.
i just don't understand why i do not seem to live up to your standards.
nor can i see how all of this can just be so easy for you.
to let me go...and not choke
to be able to breathe without me
to see your life...without me in it...
how is that possible??
where did i or we go wrong?
where was the fork in the road??
when did i no longer matter to you??
you said forever...
you said that we are perfect for each other...
you said you meant it when you told me you loved me...
we made so many plans...i was going to move to dallas for you
we were going to make it work
we were going places...
we had our house and our wedding all planned out
us being together was as simple as breathing to me
it was always something that was going to happen
that was supposed to happen
there was never any question in my mind about it
and when we are together, somehow it all feels like a fairytale...
i never feel as loved and nearly as happy as i do when i am with you.
i honestly believe in my heart of hearts that you are my soul mate.
now i feel like a part of me is dying and i am going to have to perform surgery to remove it...
to remove you.
why do i even have to do that??
why is it that everything seems to have crumbled so fast this year?
why do i no longer feel close to you?
we said...you said...we did... i felt... we were...
and now it all amounts to nothing.
the past 8 years comes to this.
i feels so unreal.
i feel like you never felt like i believed you when you told me you loved me...
i did.
i just couldn't get enough of you.
i'm sorry if i asked too much of you.
i'm sorry if i didn't give you enough of me.
when you asked me to move in with you...i didn't.
and it wasn't cuz of you.
i wanted to, love, you have to know that i wanted nothing more.
but i was so scared.
you have always scared me.
cuz i feel so much when i am with you.
i didn't know how to do, or how to make it work at the time, and now through some series of events you are letting me drift away.
i'm sorry if i somehow pushed you away.
or if i wasn't strong enough for you.
or if i'm too emotional for you.
maybe i let you see me cry one too many times.
maybe you never really believed that i wanted this to really work, and you figured that all i ever wanted this to be was long distance, and i would never really make the move...
but i can't do that unless i have some sign from you...
will you give me that much?
what do i have to do to prove to you??
you are everything...
and you always will be.
i just want you...forever.
you think it will be fine again, but not this time around...
do you even know that i am letting you go?
do you even care to notice?
i haven't heard from you in over a month...
have you noticed that i have deleted you and your pictures?
do you care that i have stopped calling you and emailing you?
you have stopped responding to me ever since i got home..
i have no idea what happened this time.
no clue what caused my broken heart again.
you used to shine so bright but i watched all of it fade...
when did you fall out of love with me?
when did i no longer become important to you?
when did you decide to let me go?
better yet, why?
is it the distance?
is it because i don't look like i once did?
is it because i got too close to your family?
is it because i loved you too much?
cuz i need you so much?
or i want you so much?
am i not cute enough to be shone on your arm anymore?
do i do too much?
am i too independent?
are you ashamed that i have more than you do?
what's funny....is that all of that means nothing when we are like this.
it means nothing to me.
not talking to you is like not breathing to me.
i don't function properly.
i can't focus.
i feel like everything i do is forced.
we didn't even fight this time!!!!!
it all just seemed to come to an abrupt halt, and there was no warning.
nothing that i could do to prevent it, and once it got here there was nothing i could do to fix it.
you just seemed to....let go.
like it was the most natural thing in the world.
you stopped calling.
you stopped emailing.
you just seemed to stop responding to me in all shapes and forms...
things i do no longer seem to have a purpose.
life feels to have stopped...
and yes damn it i am wallowing in self pity.
i just don't understand why i do not seem to live up to your standards.
nor can i see how all of this can just be so easy for you.
to let me go...and not choke
to be able to breathe without me
to see your life...without me in it...
how is that possible??
where did i or we go wrong?
where was the fork in the road??
when did i no longer matter to you??
you said forever...
you said that we are perfect for each other...
you said you meant it when you told me you loved me...
we made so many plans...i was going to move to dallas for you
we were going to make it work
we were going places...
we had our house and our wedding all planned out
us being together was as simple as breathing to me
it was always something that was going to happen
that was supposed to happen
there was never any question in my mind about it
and when we are together, somehow it all feels like a fairytale...
i never feel as loved and nearly as happy as i do when i am with you.
i honestly believe in my heart of hearts that you are my soul mate.
now i feel like a part of me is dying and i am going to have to perform surgery to remove it...
to remove you.
why do i even have to do that??
why is it that everything seems to have crumbled so fast this year?
why do i no longer feel close to you?
we said...you said...we did... i felt... we were...
and now it all amounts to nothing.
the past 8 years comes to this.
i feels so unreal.
i feel like you never felt like i believed you when you told me you loved me...
i did.
i just couldn't get enough of you.
i'm sorry if i asked too much of you.
i'm sorry if i didn't give you enough of me.
when you asked me to move in with you...i didn't.
and it wasn't cuz of you.
i wanted to, love, you have to know that i wanted nothing more.
but i was so scared.
you have always scared me.
cuz i feel so much when i am with you.
i didn't know how to do, or how to make it work at the time, and now through some series of events you are letting me drift away.
i'm sorry if i somehow pushed you away.
or if i wasn't strong enough for you.
or if i'm too emotional for you.
maybe i let you see me cry one too many times.
maybe you never really believed that i wanted this to really work, and you figured that all i ever wanted this to be was long distance, and i would never really make the move...
but i can't do that unless i have some sign from you...
will you give me that much?
what do i have to do to prove to you??
you are everything...
and you always will be.
i just want you...forever.