Body Modification
I don't know that anyone who reads my journal will understand this, but I have come to the realization that I need something really painful done to my body. I may be in the minority, but pain has always been a great stress reliever for me, yet I was never into "cutting" myself. Around 10 years ago, I introduced myself to the world of body modification and immediately became fascinated as well as hooked on the concept. At the peak of my exploration I had nine total piercings, my ears stretched to a 00 gauge, and my tongue stretched to an 8 gauge. For various reasons I had to remove most of them, and recently almost all of them because of the MRI. The only one I have left is my left nipple, because I just couldn't get it out so they taped it down instead.
Given the amount of stress I've been under, and the fact that I'm having a very difficult time moving on from a lot of it, I've been thinking of different ways I can relieve it. I've begun cross-stitching again, and I've also asked my dear friend Sarah if she'd help me learn to crochet; I've been told both hobbies are good stress relievers. However, recently I've been craving something extreme and until yesterday the thought of pain hadn't even crossed my mind. I don't remember what exactly triggered the thought, but I found myself remembering how I would sometimes actually crave feeling the pain of a pierce or stretch. Eventually I'd find myself in the piercing studio, talking to my favorite piercer about what I could have done next. I wasn't ever interested in having a really high number of piercings, and had found early on that stretching was often more painful than piercing so I usually went with that. After each modification I always had a feeling of serene peace for the next several weeks. Naturally it would gradually fade, but the amount of stress I could feel melting away as the wound healed more and more is incredible. I'm honestly surprised I had forgotten about it for this long, it was such a large part of my life for many many years.
While piercing is a brief, fleeting moment of pain, the healing and after care process is truly fascinating. Also the idea of having something there to remind me of what I've experienced is appealing. I don't see myself getting facial piercings anymore, but I'm open to anything below the neck as well as my tongue. The piercing studio I went to is still open, and my preferred piercer is now their lead piercer so I shot him an email asking about piercing through scar tissue on a nipple, tongue and female genitalia. I look forward to hearing from him soon, and might even find my way over there after work tomorrow so he can look at the actual scar tissue. I'm excited about this and can't wait until I can actually have the work done.
Given the amount of stress I've been under, and the fact that I'm having a very difficult time moving on from a lot of it, I've been thinking of different ways I can relieve it. I've begun cross-stitching again, and I've also asked my dear friend Sarah if she'd help me learn to crochet; I've been told both hobbies are good stress relievers. However, recently I've been craving something extreme and until yesterday the thought of pain hadn't even crossed my mind. I don't remember what exactly triggered the thought, but I found myself remembering how I would sometimes actually crave feeling the pain of a pierce or stretch. Eventually I'd find myself in the piercing studio, talking to my favorite piercer about what I could have done next. I wasn't ever interested in having a really high number of piercings, and had found early on that stretching was often more painful than piercing so I usually went with that. After each modification I always had a feeling of serene peace for the next several weeks. Naturally it would gradually fade, but the amount of stress I could feel melting away as the wound healed more and more is incredible. I'm honestly surprised I had forgotten about it for this long, it was such a large part of my life for many many years.
While piercing is a brief, fleeting moment of pain, the healing and after care process is truly fascinating. Also the idea of having something there to remind me of what I've experienced is appealing. I don't see myself getting facial piercings anymore, but I'm open to anything below the neck as well as my tongue. The piercing studio I went to is still open, and my preferred piercer is now their lead piercer so I shot him an email asking about piercing through scar tissue on a nipple, tongue and female genitalia. I look forward to hearing from him soon, and might even find my way over there after work tomorrow so he can look at the actual scar tissue. I'm excited about this and can't wait until I can actually have the work done.