That's it, then
For the last 4 weeks, since I broke up with G, we've been talking - trying to see if there's anything that can be salvaged in our relationship.
OK - talking and arguing... trying to find some resolution to everything that had happened since last August.
We did come up with a solution on how to deal with his adult daughter - one that we both thought would work and would be beneficial for all of us. He promised to support me in any conversations we had with her, and that was all I needed to hear.
However, tonight, he made it clear that he doesn't want to go forward and try to resolve the rest of the issues. He stated, flat out, that if I wanted to come back and accept that nothing was going to change, that he'd be ok with that.
Well, I'm not. During some of the conversations we had over the past month, he admitted that he did change. He admitted that he knew how his actions would have betrayed my trust in him. He even talked how it would take time to rebuild trust on both sides. When I opened up to him, telling him how much I needed that - not to jump right back into being a couple again - he said "no."
The breakup was both of our faults - I made mistakes too. I had different views on how to handle his kid - ones that every parent of a young adult has used effectively over the years. G felt like my suggestions were personal attacks on his parenting skills. And yes, any time her rudeness drove me past the limits of control - G got the blow-back on it, rather than her getting it. And I have screwed up since we broke up. Talked about it here in a previous post. My screw-ups, after we broke up, damaged his trust in me. It was something I was going to have to work on, if we reconciled.
But, in one night, I went from having hope that he was ready to re-commit to knowing he never will. He's too happy with his single state to ever let someone in to be a partner, a help-mate, and who loves him even knowing his flaws. I know him - better than he likes to admit. I know his fears, his hopes, his dreams, and his goals.
My hopes for a reconciliation are dust. It's hard to let go of someone I love so much - even though I realize now that he never truly loved me. He only loved the image he was trying to make me into, not the woman I am.
Yes, I'm opinionated. Yes, I make quick assessments about people - but always keep an open mind to the possibility that I could be wrong. Yes, I believe that a deep love is necessary if you want to make a life together - and will fight for it. Yes, I believe that both partners need to compromise to make room in their lives for the other person. Yes, I believe that true closeness is only achieved once you open up to a special person. And yes, however girly it may seem, I do believe that a healthy and good relationship enriches your life beyond belief - makes what was good (or great) before into something fantastic.
So, that's it, then.
I'm going to visit with my daughter and granddaughter.
Then I'm going to have a good cry and mourn the fact that I fell in love with someone who doesn't love me back.
Then I'm going to get on with my life - without him.
OK - talking and arguing... trying to find some resolution to everything that had happened since last August.
We did come up with a solution on how to deal with his adult daughter - one that we both thought would work and would be beneficial for all of us. He promised to support me in any conversations we had with her, and that was all I needed to hear.
However, tonight, he made it clear that he doesn't want to go forward and try to resolve the rest of the issues. He stated, flat out, that if I wanted to come back and accept that nothing was going to change, that he'd be ok with that.
Well, I'm not. During some of the conversations we had over the past month, he admitted that he did change. He admitted that he knew how his actions would have betrayed my trust in him. He even talked how it would take time to rebuild trust on both sides. When I opened up to him, telling him how much I needed that - not to jump right back into being a couple again - he said "no."
The breakup was both of our faults - I made mistakes too. I had different views on how to handle his kid - ones that every parent of a young adult has used effectively over the years. G felt like my suggestions were personal attacks on his parenting skills. And yes, any time her rudeness drove me past the limits of control - G got the blow-back on it, rather than her getting it. And I have screwed up since we broke up. Talked about it here in a previous post. My screw-ups, after we broke up, damaged his trust in me. It was something I was going to have to work on, if we reconciled.
But, in one night, I went from having hope that he was ready to re-commit to knowing he never will. He's too happy with his single state to ever let someone in to be a partner, a help-mate, and who loves him even knowing his flaws. I know him - better than he likes to admit. I know his fears, his hopes, his dreams, and his goals.
My hopes for a reconciliation are dust. It's hard to let go of someone I love so much - even though I realize now that he never truly loved me. He only loved the image he was trying to make me into, not the woman I am.
Yes, I'm opinionated. Yes, I make quick assessments about people - but always keep an open mind to the possibility that I could be wrong. Yes, I believe that a deep love is necessary if you want to make a life together - and will fight for it. Yes, I believe that both partners need to compromise to make room in their lives for the other person. Yes, I believe that true closeness is only achieved once you open up to a special person. And yes, however girly it may seem, I do believe that a healthy and good relationship enriches your life beyond belief - makes what was good (or great) before into something fantastic.
So, that's it, then.
I'm going to visit with my daughter and granddaughter.
Then I'm going to have a good cry and mourn the fact that I fell in love with someone who doesn't love me back.
Then I'm going to get on with my life - without him.