The Tsukino Psychological Services Institution - Chapter 1

[lian_hua]

Today we have a very special treat for you guys!

I, Lian Hua of the House Spork, have managed to unearth a piece of original fiction written by Sephirothslave in 2003 under the pseudonym ChaosGoddess (the original story can be found here).

Titled The Tsukino Psychological Services Institution, this would-be horror story centers around a vengeful

Comments

[beacon80]

She has not been this energetic since she was brought here.
Can we please have some consistency? She is described as violently attacking guards on a nightly basis. She needs a straitjacket made especially for her, but laughing is unusually energetic for her?

One day however, the pebble miraculously strikes a fish.
As bizarre as this analogy is to begin with, it's also flawed. a pebble is going to lose pretty much all energy hitting the water. It wouldn't so much "strike" the fish as fall on it. The effects of hitting the fish would be even more negligible than the ripples.

She can communicate. Whether or not she can use verbal communication is yet to be construed.
How is she communicating, then? Is she writing things down with her toes? Is she banging her head against the wall in Morse code? You'd think the form of her communication would be worth mentioning.

Over forty percent of those who offered were never found.
So, out of ever five men, two die. Someone disappears, on average, every two and a half days.
First of all, why are they still going in alone? If the mortality rate is so high, why wouldn't you investigate? Or at least send the men in with backup. The idea that Doctor Weaboo is just going to think "Oh, Bob's gone. Frank, you've got night duty. You might want to get your affairs in order."
And on that note, how could you possibly find men desperate enough to take that job, especially when you're losing almost three a week?

Exactly eight minutes and forty-six seconds later
Why are you telling us this? Would anything be different if he took eight minutes and forty-seven seconds? What if he pushed himself and got there in eight minutes and forty-five?

The concoction was supposed to be some sort of miracle cure for insanity.


Wasn't expecting to use this so soon again.

Shoving these thoughts aside he continued with his nightly injections. So far he was escaping with minor scratches and bite marks.
Again, why aren't they doing this in groups? I don't know about real mental hospitals, but in dirty, movie-style crap asylums, you usually have two (large) orderlies hold down the violent patients while the doctor injects them.
Which brings me to my second point: Why is the night guard (not even an orderly, but a guard) injecting patients?

[lian_hua]

You made such excellent points! The one about her supposedly not being so energetic since her arrival will be added to the spork, with due credit of course. I feel like slapping myself for not noticing that earlier.

[beacon80]

An additional thought... If people are disappearing on a regular basis, shouldn't the place be under investigation by now?

Not helped by the fact that Doctor Weaboo apparently has a reputation for killing people (despite the fact that everything we see about him suggests that he's actually a fairly compassionate man).

[lian_hua]

I was actually writing my piece of the final thoughts on chapter two right now and you're right, his characterization is all over the place. About the institute and the disappearances - as chapter two (we're gonna release it tomorrow) will prove, Slave hasn't really thought things over and the result is typical. She sacrificed practicality for the sake of coolness and horror.