Shinra SOLDIER Chapter 12
Lunch
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Chapter 12.) - in which Ian does some cockblocking
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The time was around noon when the Troopers were released from classes to go to lunch. Hungry, there was nearly a stampede to get to the single lunch line.
Lian Hua: This sentence makes no sense.
Though they were designated to have an hour long break, if you did not get in line early, you'd still only have about five minutes to eat.
Unconcerned, Julia and Sephiroth walked behind the stampede, talking quietly about the day so far.
Lian Hua: Because they are not sheep like the rest of the troopers! They are SPESHUL.
"You know we have to give that presentation tomorrow?" Sephiroth asked as they joined the lunch line.
Lian Hua: She was right there with him when the instructor spoke about it, wasn't she?
"Yeah. Do you want to work on it over lunch?"
Lian Hua: What is there to work on? The other team was made of amoeba-brained humanoids!
"That is probably the wisest thing to do, seeing as how we don't really have time in the afternoon...that is, if you're planning on training privately."
"Which both of us are."
"Right. So lunch it is?"
Julia nodded.
After twenty minutes of standing in line, they received their lunches, which looked almost as bad as the breakfast they had been served. Taking their trays, they went and sat down at an empty table.
Sephiroth thought for a moment. "You know, I have nothing to write this down on..."
"That could be a problem." Julia stood up. "Fortunately for us both, I have a couple of spare notebooks in my room. I'll go get them."
Lian Hua: I thought the SOLDIER sent to their homes was supposed to pick up and bring them only the necessities.
"Would you like me to go with you?"
"Sure." Julia smiled.
Lian Hua: Why? You'll lose your table!
Abandoning their trays, Sephiroth and Julia left the dining hall and walked over to the elevators. Going up one level, they walked down the hall to room 107. "Here we are." Julia pulled out her keycard and slid it through the slot by the door.
The two entered the room together and Julia began to rummage through her suitcases to find the two blank notebooks she knew she had somewhere,
Meanwhile, Sephiroth was examining the hole in the wall that led over into room 108. "What on the Planet happened here?"
"Oh, that? Zack Bob walked in on me while I was taking a shower. And if you care to look, our shower stall is missing its curtain. So...well, you can figure it out." She laughed. "He nearly paid for that error with his life."
Lian Hua: Psychopathic bitch. What is she, goddess Artemis? Will she turn people into stags next time when they accidentally walk in on her while she's bathing?
"Good." Sephiroth growled. "I'll kill that spiky-haired bastard, I swear I will."
"Don't worry about it, Seph. He paid for it in full. In fact, they had to call in a squadron of SOLDIERS to calm me down...Though now that I think about it, I may have been overreacting."
Lian Hua: YOU THINK? It's exactly this kind of overblown and dramatic behavior that goes against the idea that women are good for the military. The troopers around Julia could point at her and say: "See, this is why it wasn't smart to let a woman in! They are emotional, hyper-sensitive and demand special treatment."
"Not at all." Sephiroth told her. "He deserved every last bruise and cut you could give him."
Lian Hua: Not for the first time, Sephiroth blindly takes Julia's side and ignores the potential negative consequences her aggressive behavior could bring.
Julia smiled, then teasingly asked, "What, are you jealous?"
"You're damn right, I'm jealous." He said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her down onto the bed next to him. "You're mine...not his." He tilted her chin up so she was looking him in the eyes, and kissed her fiercely.
Lian Hua: She's not a piece of property! She is a girl who has been used by countless men as a sex toy and probably forced to do unspeakable and shameful things! He knows that and yet he pulls her down on the bed and sucks on her face without so much as a warning. What a considerate boyfriend.
When they finally broke away from the kiss, Julia was blushing furiously. "Yes...I'm yours." She smiled, leaning against him.
Lian Hua: Seventy one chapters into the story, the heroine and the hero finally share a kiss. And since we're on issues of intimacy, WHY ISN'T HER RAPE INDUCED TRAUMA KICKING IN?
Sephiroth wrapped his arms around his girlfriend protectively. "If he ever pulls that stunt again, I'll tear his eyes out."
As Sephiroth moved to kiss Julia again, Ian walked into the room.
"Oh my..." Ian laughed. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact." Julia grumbled, glaring indignantly at Ian.
Lian Hua: How dare he interrupt their makeout session by walking into his own room?
"Sorry...I just came in here to get my sword. I'm going to practice for a while before our afternoon classes."
"You do that. Just get your sword and go." Sephiroth growled.
Lian Hua: You are in his room, you ASSHOLE.
"Gotcha," Ian said, winking at Sephiroth before leaving and closing the door behind him.
Lian Hua: What? He leaves just like that after an 18 year old brat unceremoniously kicked him out of his own room so he could grope his jailbait girlfriend?
"I swear..." Julia muttered, staring at the closed door. "...humans just don't know how to respect a person's privacy."
Lian Hua: He entered the room, which is also HIS, without knowing that there was someone there. He walked in on you by accident, you pretentious twit!
She unwillingly stood, and grabbed the two notebooks she had dropped on the floor. "We'd better get back to the dining hall if you want to work on that presentation."
"You're right." Sephiroth sighed, getting to his feet.
Then the two left the room, the door sliding shut behind them.
Back in the dining hall, Sephiroth and Julia had finished eating, and were working diligently on their presentation for tomorrow.
According to our narrator, if you don't get in line early you are left with only five minutes to eat. Our scumbag protagonists took their sweet time in getting in line and waited for 20 minutes before grabbing their lunches. On top of that, their detour to Julia's room turned into a makeout session. And yet they still have time not only to eat but to work on their presentation as well.
"Let me think now...I know that the diversionary tactic you suggested contributed to our win...but what else?" Julia asked, scribbling that down in her notebook.
Lian Hua: How about this one: the plot required them to be mind-numbingly stupid. If they're not retarded, you can't appear superior by comparison!
"Placement of the troops." Sephiroth said, thinking. "And of course the reduced number of Ian's troops by the time they reached us. Your team took out quite a few of them."
"Really? I didn't notice."
Lian Hua: O rly. Well what did she notice then?
"Well, they did."
"That's a good thing then. Were we expected to explain why Ian lost?"
Lian Hua: She was there when the instructor gave the assignment! Does she have the memory span of a goldfish?
"No. Just why we won."
"Okay. Here's what I have:
Our troops were victorious in yesterday's simulated battle paintball match because of our use of diversionary tactics Mary Sue powah, which lured Ian's troops out into our trap. The placement of our troops in strategic positions around the area, in trees and hidden behind shrubbery and rocks, gave us an immediate advantage over Ian's unprepared and unaware team which was suffering from plot-induced stupidity. Lastly, we were victorious because many of Ian's troops were standing in the open and were easy targets for the diversionary team when we arrived on their base. See previous comment.
Sound good?" Julia asked.
"That sounds perfect." Sephiroth smiled. "You're really good with words."
Lian Hua: No, she is not. She uses pompous-sounding words to appear more cultivated in the presence of Boytoy. In reality, she would much rather let her fists do the talking as often as possible.
"Just as good as you are." She told him. "You could have easily written something very much like that, and it probably would have been better written then than mine is."
Lian Hua: How about he teach the author how to differentiate between then and than?
"Nonsense." Sephiroth laughed. "You need to give yourself more credit, dear."
Lian Hua: AHAHAHAHA. As if the story... as if the other characters... as if the entire UNIVERSE... AHAHAHA!!! Ouch, my rib!
"Yeah right."
The bell pierced through the chatter of the Troopers and SOLDIERS dining there, signaling the beginning of the afternoon classes.
"Well, again we're going to the same place." Sephiroth smiled and grabbed his tray, simultaneously grabbing Julia's tray as well.
"Hey! You don't have to..."
"Yes I do." He interrupted. "You deserve it." So he is repaying her for writing the presentation by... carrying her tray?
Lian Hua: Wow, Seph, you're spoiling her! <3 <3
I don't know about Julialand, but here on planet Earth it's not unheard of for boyfriends to do that for their girlfriends. It is not a reward, but a small gesture of courtesy that any well mannered man does, along with carrying books, opening doors, helping them carry heavy grocery bags and so on and so forth. Heck, my pal does that for me every time we have lunch in the cafeteria. Maybe the author's male friends weren't very courteous around her.