mama's boy
i'm left in the play pen, because mommy has to go to the washroom. alone, i start to feel something. my sweat glands activate, oozing the cold and thick kind; instructions are sent to most of my body hair to stand straight, which induces me to give in to the urge. minutes pass, then i check what's in my diaper, and am delighted to see the new warm fellow to provide me company -- it came from me, so logically, it's a part of me -- and i start showing it around for the whole world (which consisted of milk bottles, a blue pacifier, pillows, and mini stuffed animals) to see. i hug it until some of it smears on my chest, then to my cheeks. i play with it happily. i'm the perfect narcissist; simply it coming from me makes it special, and close to my heart.
in a few (but with my short attention span it seemed like hours), mommy finally comes around, and since she's that one special person i cared for all my life (apart from myself, and apart from the new yellow buddy i just had) i happily share my funny-smelling Yellow (that's the name na bininyag ko kay buddy) with her. it's normal: quite what nearly all kids do, in some point of their kiddie lives. but mommy's nose suddenly wrinkles, and her tone becomes harsh and totally un-mommylike. i don't understand her words but i thought she was reprimanding me, making me guilty of my "love" for Yellow. i think mommy doesn't like him with me.
when mommy kisses me right after Yellow's wiped away, with her mommylike tone coming back, i confirm that mommy, indeed(!), doesn't want Yellow with me. and since mommy is more important to me than Yellow will ever be (mommy has been ever-reliable since i could remember and mommy changes me diaper and gives me milk and loves me, i think) i start growing quiet whenever Yellow's brothers and sisters come out of me. i feel guilty. i don't like it whenever something about me displeases me mommy.
dear Yellow's brothers and sisters, please don't show yourself to mommy anymore. i love me mommy.
i see other kids who has Yellow's relatives coming out of them, too, and i think they should be called Green, Orange, Red, and what's that new color i learned? Brown!! sometimes i wonder if some of their other relatives also come out of mommy, and what she does whenever they do. does that mean mommy displeases herself, too?
{{lumang lesson, but played with it anyway, since i liked how the theories were relayed by the dean.
in class. prof namin siya.
at prof din pala namin 'yung year level chair.
wala lang. ang tatanda nilang mga lola.
haha. pressure.}}
in a few (but with my short attention span it seemed like hours), mommy finally comes around, and since she's that one special person i cared for all my life (apart from myself, and apart from the new yellow buddy i just had) i happily share my funny-smelling Yellow (that's the name na bininyag ko kay buddy) with her. it's normal: quite what nearly all kids do, in some point of their kiddie lives. but mommy's nose suddenly wrinkles, and her tone becomes harsh and totally un-mommylike. i don't understand her words but i thought she was reprimanding me, making me guilty of my "love" for Yellow. i think mommy doesn't like him with me.
when mommy kisses me right after Yellow's wiped away, with her mommylike tone coming back, i confirm that mommy, indeed(!), doesn't want Yellow with me. and since mommy is more important to me than Yellow will ever be (mommy has been ever-reliable since i could remember and mommy changes me diaper and gives me milk and loves me, i think) i start growing quiet whenever Yellow's brothers and sisters come out of me. i feel guilty. i don't like it whenever something about me displeases me mommy.
dear Yellow's brothers and sisters, please don't show yourself to mommy anymore. i love me mommy.
i see other kids who has Yellow's relatives coming out of them, too, and i think they should be called Green, Orange, Red, and what's that new color i learned? Brown!! sometimes i wonder if some of their other relatives also come out of mommy, and what she does whenever they do. does that mean mommy displeases herself, too?
{{lumang lesson, but played with it anyway, since i liked how the theories were relayed by the dean.
in class. prof namin siya.
at prof din pala namin 'yung year level chair.
wala lang. ang tatanda nilang mga lola.
haha. pressure.}}