My final word on the matter

[liam_sensei]

Any of you who have been following this journal since I joined the Kuro fandom probably have heard me ranting on a specific topic related to Grell. Well last November this particular topic in the fandom got really ugly and to the point where I was ready to leave the fandom and it nearly killed my muse. The wank has died down considerably to the

Comments

Re: :::wanders in:::

[deadcellredux]

Oh wow-- we are definitely on the same wavelength here!

I completely agree with you on how there is a massive problem-- I also find myself feeling nervous when it comes to posting about Grell and/or discussing the character. Worst of all, it's made me paranoid about my fic, and that bothers me most in this situation. I worry that I'm going to get flamed or blacklisted or whatever, which is just… kind of sadlarious.

Thanks for the history of the wank ;) Guess I joined the fandom at just the right time! /sarcasm

I became a Grell fan the first time I saw ep 5 as well! It's kind of funny, actually-- I still remember the "OMG!!!!!" moment I had when he took his true form--- I'd never seen a character quite like him before (I remember actually texting a friend of mine and telling her she'd have to come over to watch it with me later, because there was a "psychotic gay dude with a chainsaw"). I was so taken with the fact that he's so very unnerving (as you perfectly put it)--- terrifying yet hilarious; repulsive in how twisted he can be, yet also beautiful and charming; and of course, sexually provocative and totally comfortable with who he is/not sorry/not ashamed/not giving any fucks what anyone else thinks (though perhaps he's just too crazy to really give it much thought!) And there's a personal level relating to sexuality for me, as well-- I only recently discovered my sexuality (at 28) and I've been having a bit of a struggle with figuring it out after living my life thus far thinking I was one way, and then CLEARLY finding out that I'm another. I've also been uncomfortable in my "proper" gender for as long as I can remember back to childhood, and I suppose it all just culminated in an "a-ha!" sort of moment for me. Which, coincidentally, wasn't too long before I discovered Grell. I hope this doesn't sound like the corniest, most awkward thing ever, but it was actually somewhat of a relief to discover a character like him and be able to relate in that way, solely because Grell does not fit into "normal" expectations of gender and sexuality at all.

All that being said, I agree that Grell is a largely undefinable character; for me, this is definitely part of his allure. I also wonder what people make of him in Japan, considering all of the ways in which their culture and social attitudes differ from us here in the west.

Alright, I've reached my rambling quota for the evening. It's very nice to have met you and had some intelligent Grell-talk! I'm sure we'll be seeing one another around in the future 8D

Re: :::wanders in:::

[liam_sensei]

I understand your concern about fic, though I wouldn't worry about it too much. Amid all the wank I wrote a couple fics where Grell was very much aggressive, masculine, and seme-ish as kind of a "fuck you" to the gender wank. I was actually expecting to get crap for them, instead I received nothing but praise from other people who loved seeing Grell portrayed that way. If you're nervous, you could put a disclaimer on saying this is your portrayal, don't like, don't read, and don't argue.

I can understand how you relate to him totally and it must be nice to see a character who doesn't fit into such a neat package and is so many things that relate to how you're feeling. Putting this character in a tight category is just the antithesis of what this character was meant to be. I kind of relate to the age thing too, I made a lot of realizations about myself at 27-28, I'm 32 now (yay older fans!)

I have a feeling that people in japan get him a little better. Understanding of these things in japan seems to be a lot different and either they are willing to see a bit more shades of gray or their black and white is completely different from ours.

It's nice to meet you too! I'll probably be using LJ a little more so I'll return that friending thing :D I am more active on my DA account (I know you've been on my page ;))