MEMORANDUM
TO: Head Custodian - Los Angeles Division
FROM: Marcus Hamilton, Executive Liaison - Los Angeles Division
DATE: April 26, 2004
RE: Ongoing appraisal of job performance and professional behavior
As a routine part of Wolfram and Hart employment, your ongoing performance is under observation, and some matters have come the the attention of the board of directors. Before these issues are listed however, let me say that we all appreciate all the years of hard work you have given the firm. A glance at your records shows your history to be colorful, at the very least. This will have effects, both positive and negative, on the course of action the Board may take.
The most pressing issue is that of your continually disgruntled disposition. While we appreciate the employee's right to his own thoughts, we ask that you try to curb them while at the workplace. You work around people whose importance is belied by their humility; your seed of unpleasant emotion can cause ripples in their lilves you cannot imagine.
On a related note, it has also come to our attention that you have been known to spread slander about other employees at Wolfram and Hart. As a rule, this is discouraged, though certain exceptions are made for the purpose of competition. Nobody likes to be called names behind their backs. We ask that you try to limit this.
Your job performance, however, has been exemplary. This factor mitigates the problems enough that no action will necessarily be taken at this time. Note that it is for your exceptional skill that we give you this warning. We would like to keep our relationship intact if it all possible.
This brings me to posssibly the most important issue, and that is of the rather extenuating circumstances of your contract. It would seem that your employ here is more of a contractual obligation than a career, and that places all of us in a rather difficult situation. In light of this, I have been authorized to issue the following options.
Should the issue become any worse, we are within our rights to remove your larynx.
Should the problem escalate at that point, we will proceed to remove one of your arms.
Both body parts may, however, be reinstated due to improved performance.
However, should the problem alleviate, i have been able to hammer out an agreement with the board in which you would recieve a salary. I have also arranged an option by which you could gain the benefit of vacation days, should your performance improve enough.
I hope that you find this memorandum useful, both in your job and in your life, such as that is. Please, feel free to come by my office at any time, or leave a message with Miss Kendall.
Ah. I think that will go over perfectly. Now, I just need to drop this off to Miss Kendall. The issue of the ghost, however, still nags at me. Perhaps I will have to come to some manner of understanding with it, as well.
FROM: Marcus Hamilton, Executive Liaison - Los Angeles Division
DATE: April 26, 2004
RE: Ongoing appraisal of job performance and professional behavior
As a routine part of Wolfram and Hart employment, your ongoing performance is under observation, and some matters have come the the attention of the board of directors. Before these issues are listed however, let me say that we all appreciate all the years of hard work you have given the firm. A glance at your records shows your history to be colorful, at the very least. This will have effects, both positive and negative, on the course of action the Board may take.
The most pressing issue is that of your continually disgruntled disposition. While we appreciate the employee's right to his own thoughts, we ask that you try to curb them while at the workplace. You work around people whose importance is belied by their humility; your seed of unpleasant emotion can cause ripples in their lilves you cannot imagine.
On a related note, it has also come to our attention that you have been known to spread slander about other employees at Wolfram and Hart. As a rule, this is discouraged, though certain exceptions are made for the purpose of competition. Nobody likes to be called names behind their backs. We ask that you try to limit this.
Your job performance, however, has been exemplary. This factor mitigates the problems enough that no action will necessarily be taken at this time. Note that it is for your exceptional skill that we give you this warning. We would like to keep our relationship intact if it all possible.
This brings me to posssibly the most important issue, and that is of the rather extenuating circumstances of your contract. It would seem that your employ here is more of a contractual obligation than a career, and that places all of us in a rather difficult situation. In light of this, I have been authorized to issue the following options.
Should the issue become any worse, we are within our rights to remove your larynx.
Should the problem escalate at that point, we will proceed to remove one of your arms.
Both body parts may, however, be reinstated due to improved performance.
However, should the problem alleviate, i have been able to hammer out an agreement with the board in which you would recieve a salary. I have also arranged an option by which you could gain the benefit of vacation days, should your performance improve enough.
I hope that you find this memorandum useful, both in your job and in your life, such as that is. Please, feel free to come by my office at any time, or leave a message with Miss Kendall.
Ah. I think that will go over perfectly. Now, I just need to drop this off to Miss Kendall. The issue of the ghost, however, still nags at me. Perhaps I will have to come to some manner of understanding with it, as well.