Not all who wander are lost...
It's been a rough year for me. Well, let's be honest, it's been rough for some time now. Some days are good. Some are bad. Generally I get by, but lately there has been a real sense of something missing.
I've often commented to people how this medium, this immediacy, distances us from people. It seems so counter-intuitive, but it's true. If something happens across the world, *blip* there it is, on our news feeds, our friends feeds, staring us in the face at every turn. We all comment. We all put likes on one another's pages. We leave trite little notices here and there, smilies, emoticons - all sorts of things that lead us to believe that we are connected to these people, that we have actually had meaningful communication. But the truth of the matter is, it's all a bunch of lipservice.
Hitting like, posting some funny meme, sharing someone else's post - none of these things involve any thought, any presence, any responsibility for our selves. So in a society where information passes in the blink of an eye, so many of us feel utterly abandoned and isolated.
I blame a lot of things, but one of the things I blame currently is FB. It's this incestuous pool of likes and meaningless memes and shares. There is no actual information exchange, unless you count where someone ate lunch or what they had for breakfast. It's hideous. And with continual and current changes, the actual amount of posts that show up on a personal feed that a person is actually interested in seeing becomes less and less.
I did something radical. I stopped liking things. Instead, if it meant something to me, I commented (thoughtfully) or shared.
I saw a difference.
And then I started making things go away. I realized the power in "I do not want to see" or "unfollow" or removing people from close friends to friends, or from friends to acquaintances, or simply removing them altogether.
The result was astounding. I was finally seeing things I wanted to see. I wasn't finding myself disgusted by the fact that on a page of feed, only one or two hits were things I actually cared about.
It isn't enough, though. I can't even remember why I have so many friends there. Some are friends of friends of friends.. who I no longer remember how I knew the initial friend. Or friends from other boards. Or.. there are other reasons, I suppose. And family. I guess I can't help the family, though I have to say, coming from a *very* large family.. I don't know all of these relatives. But I think maybe it might be important to try and connect with them. But the others? I don't know anymore. I see you all other places. It's not that I don't care, but I want something simpler. I want to actually feel connected to the people who I am reading and seeing. I want what is missing. I need actual people I care to be on my friends list, not just a bunch of numbers.
But, because FB is not my blog, and because there are things that I wont post there, I think I would like to rekindle an old relationship... LJ. I like FB to put the the occasional thought provoking post, or sometimes something totally silly that has tweaked my fancy. When I"m having a bad day, though? Or maybe want to go off in thought like I have here? FB isn't the medium. And frankly, I like it that way. I only ever got onto FB because my family used it to organize gatherings and keep in touch with one another through their busy lives. Most of them aren't all that interested in reading blogs. They want the quick fix. The blip of time, and move along, move along.
I'll admit, I like the instant gratification of likes on a post. Or shares. I suppose that we all do in many ways. I just feel like there's a need for something more. Something tangible and real.
We'll see how long this experiment lasts, but while it does, I"m going to enjoy the ride.
Be Well,
~Lia
I've often commented to people how this medium, this immediacy, distances us from people. It seems so counter-intuitive, but it's true. If something happens across the world, *blip* there it is, on our news feeds, our friends feeds, staring us in the face at every turn. We all comment. We all put likes on one another's pages. We leave trite little notices here and there, smilies, emoticons - all sorts of things that lead us to believe that we are connected to these people, that we have actually had meaningful communication. But the truth of the matter is, it's all a bunch of lipservice.
Hitting like, posting some funny meme, sharing someone else's post - none of these things involve any thought, any presence, any responsibility for our selves. So in a society where information passes in the blink of an eye, so many of us feel utterly abandoned and isolated.
I blame a lot of things, but one of the things I blame currently is FB. It's this incestuous pool of likes and meaningless memes and shares. There is no actual information exchange, unless you count where someone ate lunch or what they had for breakfast. It's hideous. And with continual and current changes, the actual amount of posts that show up on a personal feed that a person is actually interested in seeing becomes less and less.
I did something radical. I stopped liking things. Instead, if it meant something to me, I commented (thoughtfully) or shared.
I saw a difference.
And then I started making things go away. I realized the power in "I do not want to see" or "unfollow" or removing people from close friends to friends, or from friends to acquaintances, or simply removing them altogether.
The result was astounding. I was finally seeing things I wanted to see. I wasn't finding myself disgusted by the fact that on a page of feed, only one or two hits were things I actually cared about.
It isn't enough, though. I can't even remember why I have so many friends there. Some are friends of friends of friends.. who I no longer remember how I knew the initial friend. Or friends from other boards. Or.. there are other reasons, I suppose. And family. I guess I can't help the family, though I have to say, coming from a *very* large family.. I don't know all of these relatives. But I think maybe it might be important to try and connect with them. But the others? I don't know anymore. I see you all other places. It's not that I don't care, but I want something simpler. I want to actually feel connected to the people who I am reading and seeing. I want what is missing. I need actual people I care to be on my friends list, not just a bunch of numbers.
But, because FB is not my blog, and because there are things that I wont post there, I think I would like to rekindle an old relationship... LJ. I like FB to put the the occasional thought provoking post, or sometimes something totally silly that has tweaked my fancy. When I"m having a bad day, though? Or maybe want to go off in thought like I have here? FB isn't the medium. And frankly, I like it that way. I only ever got onto FB because my family used it to organize gatherings and keep in touch with one another through their busy lives. Most of them aren't all that interested in reading blogs. They want the quick fix. The blip of time, and move along, move along.
I'll admit, I like the instant gratification of likes on a post. Or shares. I suppose that we all do in many ways. I just feel like there's a need for something more. Something tangible and real.
We'll see how long this experiment lasts, but while it does, I"m going to enjoy the ride.
Be Well,
~Lia