ADVICE
Yup on time as always, not one week of advice missed, I have received awards for my talent in promptness, it may have been abaout 8 years ago now, all those other years it went to those stupid stock broker dudes, they think theyre so prompt......and I may have actually received the award for least pies eaten at a pie sale, that number being 0, and in fact I dont remember ever getting any prize ...I don't like pies anyway....excpet choclit and then only without the crust...mmmmmmmmmmm...Uh yeah! anyway so since last week when you definitely got advice I have been pondering upon this:
What are we going to do with the rest of our lives?
To answer this question on behalf of such a vast, vast, vast amount of advice fans as a whole would be impossible, there is no definite answer. There may be an answer with a rather high average, shoe polishers being the most prominent one in my head but each and every one of you are going to end up doing different boring monotonous worthless things with your lives, some of you may never settle on a definite career (we call these people freeloaders) but nonetheless this is the sort of thing we are being expected to think about in our last days of educational prison.Teachers are starting to hint that we need to plan ahead because as much as theyd like to be, they wont be around to tell us what we should be doing, without really considering if that is what WE want, aw how we love our teachers.... We have been trained growing up that to think what is expected is always easier, you will go through life uneventfully but comfortably, the most exciting thing perhaps will be opening ur email each week and ravenously eating my solid gold advice with your face, the dental re-consrtuction will leave your orthodontists with very large holiday homes.
after school til you're about 25 people seem to supress this concept having discovered (somehow)that they are free from school constraints but in the end we all seem to turn into everyone else. I look more and more lke my great aunt agatha each day, only she didnt lose her teeth til she was 30, tap them people, they ARE made of wood, they splinter when in contact with pastry(lord knows why!!!) hence my grudge against pies... You will bear with me my pain! eat gold munchkins!!!!
Uh right so my advice against this massive golden lump of a downer of prophecy is:
Become really really obnoxious, so no where will take you, not college, not jobs, not any other country. Spit when you talk, yell when you spit, create mucus creating type noises when you cough, then spit it at people! do whatever you can just become really really annoying, its not very hard, I've been practising all my life, for instance, those of you who have made it this far down the page probably are wondering what the best, longest most suffering way would be to kill me but so you wouldn't actually have to hear the sound of my voice for any of it....WELL THERE IS NO WAY!!! mwhahahahah! it has been tried.. I will never shut the fuck up! When we are finally confronted by the llibrarian aliens of planet A-Z and the only path to save the earth from certain destruction is for everyone to shutup I'LL BE THERE telling you you look fat in that suit, the world will explode, you will change your outfit, I AM UNSTOPPABLE.
Basically when you start to get THIS annoying people pay you to go away, everything in life is yours as long as you leave people alone. The idea is not to fit in as we have been thought but to stand out, not radically to better the world but in the most irritating way possible.
Happy flaming new year scum!!!!
JAMIE AND RUTH ARE IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU HAVING READ THIS WORSHIPPED SERIES OF PRICELESS, INFROMATIVE PASSED ON WISDOM. You dont like it? my people will conact their people who will tell your people to tell you that I DONT GIVE A COPULATION!!!
What are we going to do with the rest of our lives?
To answer this question on behalf of such a vast, vast, vast amount of advice fans as a whole would be impossible, there is no definite answer. There may be an answer with a rather high average, shoe polishers being the most prominent one in my head but each and every one of you are going to end up doing different boring monotonous worthless things with your lives, some of you may never settle on a definite career (we call these people freeloaders) but nonetheless this is the sort of thing we are being expected to think about in our last days of educational prison.Teachers are starting to hint that we need to plan ahead because as much as theyd like to be, they wont be around to tell us what we should be doing, without really considering if that is what WE want, aw how we love our teachers.... We have been trained growing up that to think what is expected is always easier, you will go through life uneventfully but comfortably, the most exciting thing perhaps will be opening ur email each week and ravenously eating my solid gold advice with your face, the dental re-consrtuction will leave your orthodontists with very large holiday homes.
after school til you're about 25 people seem to supress this concept having discovered (somehow)that they are free from school constraints but in the end we all seem to turn into everyone else. I look more and more lke my great aunt agatha each day, only she didnt lose her teeth til she was 30, tap them people, they ARE made of wood, they splinter when in contact with pastry(lord knows why!!!) hence my grudge against pies... You will bear with me my pain! eat gold munchkins!!!!
Uh right so my advice against this massive golden lump of a downer of prophecy is:
Become really really obnoxious, so no where will take you, not college, not jobs, not any other country. Spit when you talk, yell when you spit, create mucus creating type noises when you cough, then spit it at people! do whatever you can just become really really annoying, its not very hard, I've been practising all my life, for instance, those of you who have made it this far down the page probably are wondering what the best, longest most suffering way would be to kill me but so you wouldn't actually have to hear the sound of my voice for any of it....WELL THERE IS NO WAY!!! mwhahahahah! it has been tried.. I will never shut the fuck up! When we are finally confronted by the llibrarian aliens of planet A-Z and the only path to save the earth from certain destruction is for everyone to shutup I'LL BE THERE telling you you look fat in that suit, the world will explode, you will change your outfit, I AM UNSTOPPABLE.
Basically when you start to get THIS annoying people pay you to go away, everything in life is yours as long as you leave people alone. The idea is not to fit in as we have been thought but to stand out, not radically to better the world but in the most irritating way possible.
Happy flaming new year scum!!!!
JAMIE AND RUTH ARE IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU HAVING READ THIS WORSHIPPED SERIES OF PRICELESS, INFROMATIVE PASSED ON WISDOM. You dont like it? my people will conact their people who will tell your people to tell you that I DONT GIVE A COPULATION!!!