Jamie's advice...
SO! christmas has come and gone and you're all weighing considerably more fatties, You role around in your piles of presents like the consumer junkies you are, you reach for that selection box to eat the milky way or wahtever shitty bar is left cos ur just that fat and desperate but you are obstructed by your roles of turkey,ham,pudding,chocolate general christmassy food flab. You have a nap and to take your mind off your future in the circus as and i quote 'fattest thing' you deny that rectangular bar of delight turn to ruth's advice to ease the pain.
WELL TOO BAD! you suddenly expect me to be nice to you?! If you're basing this on past experience you might wanna jump into your televised time machine and watch me being bitter and hating you all.Not much had changed over whats his faces b-day, I am immune to christmas cheer! mooohahahahahhahaha!
*santa appears, hits ruth
ahem, happy holidays my wee advicelings I send blessings and good tidingss to you all for currently mr claus has a revolver stuck in my back. what? alright!
Jesus rocks
sheesh, anyway now that beardos fecked off lets get down to business...
The great problem I have with christmas is the sudden compulsary family events, dealing with hoards of little sticky cousins and actually having to talk to my brother is something I would tend to avoid with giant weapons of relative destruction (pun!) on a regualr basis. SO! during my brooding teenagery sulks sitting at the table where we worship the big dead bird I thought of some advice and came up with this! Here follows a fantabulous list of excuses to get out of family events:
1. chew up some of that delightfully dry powdery packaged chrsitmas stuffing , go up to the enforcer of the visiting and regurgitate it on them they wont like that...not only does this stuff smell like vomit anyways it also looks disgusting enough for you not to be invited anywhere for quite a while, this may also extend over to next christmas.
2.for getting out of mass: rant about how you have renounced god and if you set foot in a church you will surely burst into flames and if that doesnt occur you're quite positive the devil will posess you and make you swear loudly over each 'our father', 'his mary', 'your ma' or whatever.
number 3! insist on wearing some kind of offensive tee-shirt.This can include catchy little slogans like 'I am satan's bitch' etc.
4.do none of the above and have yourself a merry effing x-mas new monotonous year.
much love my cherubs
peace out
JAMIE AND RUTH NEITHER ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTS AS A RESULT OF LITENING TO US, WHICH IM SURE YOU DIDNT ANYWAYS YOU INGRATES.
WELL TOO BAD! you suddenly expect me to be nice to you?! If you're basing this on past experience you might wanna jump into your televised time machine and watch me being bitter and hating you all.Not much had changed over whats his faces b-day, I am immune to christmas cheer! mooohahahahahhahaha!
*santa appears, hits ruth
ahem, happy holidays my wee advicelings I send blessings and good tidingss to you all for currently mr claus has a revolver stuck in my back. what? alright!
Jesus rocks
sheesh, anyway now that beardos fecked off lets get down to business...
The great problem I have with christmas is the sudden compulsary family events, dealing with hoards of little sticky cousins and actually having to talk to my brother is something I would tend to avoid with giant weapons of relative destruction (pun!) on a regualr basis. SO! during my brooding teenagery sulks sitting at the table where we worship the big dead bird I thought of some advice and came up with this! Here follows a fantabulous list of excuses to get out of family events:
1. chew up some of that delightfully dry powdery packaged chrsitmas stuffing , go up to the enforcer of the visiting and regurgitate it on them they wont like that...not only does this stuff smell like vomit anyways it also looks disgusting enough for you not to be invited anywhere for quite a while, this may also extend over to next christmas.
2.for getting out of mass: rant about how you have renounced god and if you set foot in a church you will surely burst into flames and if that doesnt occur you're quite positive the devil will posess you and make you swear loudly over each 'our father', 'his mary', 'your ma' or whatever.
number 3! insist on wearing some kind of offensive tee-shirt.This can include catchy little slogans like 'I am satan's bitch' etc.
4.do none of the above and have yourself a merry effing x-mas new monotonous year.
much love my cherubs
peace out
JAMIE AND RUTH NEITHER ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTS AS A RESULT OF LITENING TO US, WHICH IM SURE YOU DIDNT ANYWAYS YOU INGRATES.