Jamie's advice of the week...
Hello tosspots, I sit here with my tea, old lady that I am and hope to offer to those of you who read it (I don't fuckin see why you wouldn't)some fantastic updates to your advice wardrobes. I mean did you see that advice jessie(hi) ws wearin last week with the suggestion strappies? Its bout time i brought you up to speed.
So my wuvvies (what is wuv?we are confused by this concept and consequently must destroy your earth, you might be saying but only if your from far far away planet in which case feck off or in which case you wish to destroy us, please don't) I twas sittin I twas in me bedroom studyin up the ol french which I shud prob be doin right now but ye know je suis le cool and all, I was there avec mis copanions faye and lauren.Just as I complied to pick the staples out of laurens shirt so she was a bit less stuck to the floor(she also mentioned something along the lines of 'for the love of god let me live!'which can be destratcing when staple pulling so consequently she may not have as many eyes as you're all used to)Faye asked me what the purpose of the torture device labelled 'torture device number 7' was for?It looks like a tiny tiny pizza cutter (ahem it is a dress making tool in real world btw) so I replied why faye my dearie come down from that shelf,I'll stab you a little less and I'll tell you.I then explained to faye how I dream of a world full of tiny tiny pizzas so my tiny pizza cutting business can thrive, faye pointed out some minor business flaws in my plan which I had not foreseen so I tacked her to the ceiling. So you see one and all, if faye hadnt butted in with one of her 'suggetsions' I would have gotten to my point and told her that the tiny pizza cutter device business having failed forced me to use them as the new torture device no.7 (the original torture device number 7 was swallowed by one unforetunate gerbil). The advice being? This being the question you all ask at the end of my seemingly pointless rants WELL THEY'RE NOT.
ahem
THE ADVICE: Don't tick me off or I'll tack you to the ceiling, if short on tacks I'll call my stationary supplies supplyer guy... hes really mean.
END
BTW!
JAMIE MACKINTAW AND RUTH ARE IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTS AS A RESULT OF THE ADVICE AND DON'T REALLY CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT SO YOU CAN JUST TOSS YOUR POT OFF.
happy holidays.
So my wuvvies (what is wuv?we are confused by this concept and consequently must destroy your earth, you might be saying but only if your from far far away planet in which case feck off or in which case you wish to destroy us, please don't) I twas sittin I twas in me bedroom studyin up the ol french which I shud prob be doin right now but ye know je suis le cool and all, I was there avec mis copanions faye and lauren.Just as I complied to pick the staples out of laurens shirt so she was a bit less stuck to the floor(she also mentioned something along the lines of 'for the love of god let me live!'which can be destratcing when staple pulling so consequently she may not have as many eyes as you're all used to)Faye asked me what the purpose of the torture device labelled 'torture device number 7' was for?It looks like a tiny tiny pizza cutter (ahem it is a dress making tool in real world btw) so I replied why faye my dearie come down from that shelf,I'll stab you a little less and I'll tell you.I then explained to faye how I dream of a world full of tiny tiny pizzas so my tiny pizza cutting business can thrive, faye pointed out some minor business flaws in my plan which I had not foreseen so I tacked her to the ceiling. So you see one and all, if faye hadnt butted in with one of her 'suggetsions' I would have gotten to my point and told her that the tiny pizza cutter device business having failed forced me to use them as the new torture device no.7 (the original torture device number 7 was swallowed by one unforetunate gerbil). The advice being? This being the question you all ask at the end of my seemingly pointless rants WELL THEY'RE NOT.
ahem
THE ADVICE: Don't tick me off or I'll tack you to the ceiling, if short on tacks I'll call my stationary supplies supplyer guy... hes really mean.
END
BTW!
JAMIE MACKINTAW AND RUTH ARE IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTS AS A RESULT OF THE ADVICE AND DON'T REALLY CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT SO YOU CAN JUST TOSS YOUR POT OFF.
happy holidays.