I have been suffering from a debilitating writer’s block going on 3 or 4 years now. I thought at first it was a mental-block caused by my THESIS. That is, an unconscious feeling that I shouldn’t be writing for fun when I have more then enough work on my thesis. But I finished the thesis a year ago now and still I haven’t been able to write.
It’s not that I don’t have things to write…I’ve got several stories rough-written that could use rewrites and edits and a couple pretty solidly formed ideas floating around in my head. I just can’t seem to sit down and get any of it written down. This came to a head in the past few weeks as I struggled to write down a relatively simple RPG post-game write-up. I just couldn’t get anything down. Finally I threw together some words that at least summed up events more or less from my characters perspective. It was not to my standard of writing, but at least it was something and at least it was written down and turned in to my frustrated GM.
I knew I needed to get myself writing again. Somehow, someway. Monday morning on my way drive to work I tried to think up some little fictive ideas that maybe I could write up for a few minutes at work. Nothing was really coming to me. So if fiction wasn’t going to be come easily at this time, let me at least write about myself, I have decided. That way there I was doing some writing, at least. And maybe this could help lead me back to being able to write my fiction stories again.
I’ve got a bit going on with my life right now. I just started an attempt at container gardening some vegetables from seed. I am a cataloguer, getting a hold of books before stores and libraries do. I’m studying kanji flashcards. I collect Asian Ball-Jointed dolls, and I’m expecting a new one to come in any day now. I sometimes play D&D and video games. I’m trying to loose a few pounds, mostly because my pants have been rather tight and I am too cheap to buy new pants. (Why buy pants when I could buy manga?)
Each day I’ll try to get a few thoughts written down regarding what I’m doing that day. It’s not likely to be of interest to anyone but me, but as this is primarily a writing exercise for me, that’s ok. I’m not sure I’ll get to posting everyday, so it might look like today’s post: a few days bundled into one post. But that’s ok. Because I’m going to be writing again.
May 8, 2011
Finally got time and energy to do the planting today. I meant to do it sooner (aka 3 weeks ago), but realizing that I had AB the following week put things off, and then last week I did very little of anything.
I haven’t done much vegetable gardening on my own, and haven’t done from seed before, so this will be an interesting experiment. Parsley and two types of lettuce mixes (plus catnip that if successful will go to my sister, since my cats really do NOT need the ‘nip). Setting up the lettuces as both microgreens and then as actual plants. We’ll see how that goes. Probably did the ones for full growth too thick, but I figure I should be able to thin it out as it starts (at the microgreen stage probably).
Three mid-sized pots, one for each type of plant. Then 2 smaller ones for the microgreen experiment. They were all placed into my library, the room I keep the darkest, on account of protecting my book collection.
May 9, 2011
My library isn’t as dark as I thought…Even with the blinds closed, the morning sun does bring a fair bit of light. It’ll be darker later in the day at least. And with the windows closed and the door closed (to keep my pokey kitties from poking plants) the room is nice and warm. Have to make certain the heat doesn’t dry the pots out, but so far so good.
Dampened the towels covering the microgreen pots and gave a splash of water to the rest. A spay bottle would be useful here, but I’m managing. I wonder how long it’ll take to grow?
Allergies are hitting me hard core this afternoon. I’ve got a very long 4 hours to go of work. I forgot to bring my nasal spray in case I needed it (I didn’t yesterday during the day) Not sure if it would help today, but it’s certainly worth trying. I really just want to curl up on the couch and stare numbly at the telly because the headache and sinus pressure turns my brain to useless mush.
Ah, that’s better. 2 very long miserable hours, but at last the sinus pressure has eased up. Still feel crappy, but at least I feel human again.
May 10, 2011
I forgot why I avoid the main cafeteria at 9:30 (general break time). I usually don’t have any wait to the sink or water fountain when I get my morning tea and refill my water bottle, but when it’s break time, there are a ton of people all vying for the little space in the kitchen area.
Furthermore, I’m having problems trying to create call numbers for a book I’m working on. I’ve got the subject headings, but there isn’t always an easy correlation between the subject headings and call numbers. I’m working on a biography of an Irish activist who was asked to leave Great Britain because of his support of the IRA and has since become an activist on behave of the Irish Nationalist movement in the United States. Doesn’t really simplify into an easy call number now does it?
Yesterday evening I decided I wanted to play video games, so pulled out the Baldur’s Gate Dark Alliance PS2 game. I had started an Extreme Mode game and hadn’t finished. Wow…that was back in January and I haven’t touched it since. Well then, time to finish that game and then maybe trying a few more character options in the second game. I had mostly been having great success with playing the sorceress in the extreme mode…unlike the other character types, she doesn’t need weapons or armor (which you don’t start off with) to do damage, so I had a pretty easy start to the game. My ball-lightning spell is pretty hardcore effective. I suspected I might have some problems with boss fights, since they can be immune to my magic, or the spells aren’t as effective. But I hadn’t had much problems. Until the lizard boss fight. Wow that was brutal. This was the first time I was seriously getting hammered. I was getting a bit frustrated, though I was starting to develop a strategy. I knew that if I didn’t get past this point, I wouldn’t get back to the game and I’d just leave it again for years. Finally I succeeded. Kept going for a while longer before I decided it was getting late. (Well, ok, I got killed because I wasn’t paying attention, but it was getting late) I think I should be able to finish up the game tonight. That is, if the new doll I expect to arrive tonight doesn’t totally take my time and attention.
Oh, I decided while playing video games I should totally be sitting on my balance ball, because even just sitting on it (and the occasionally bouncing, because seriously, balance ball. They’re meant to be bounced upon) can help work one’s abs a bit, the whole stability thing and all. Didn’t think much of it last night but I’m feeling my upper abs today so apparently sitting on the balance ball did what it was supposed to. Yay?
And ok seriously?! Clergy sexual abuse should NOT be classed in the same Dewey number as clergy counseling for sexual abuse victims!