On Food, Eating, and IVs
It seems to me that one's second entry is a more challenging one to write than one's first, for the first is almost understood to be an introductory statement of sorts, whereas the second certainly cannot contain introductory comments and intentions. So in one sense, this second entry is in reality the first. (I supposed one might go so far as to call my previous entry the zeroth....) And now I am left with the decision of which topic first to tackle. There are many long and complicated things I might discuss, but one must have the time and will-power to hit such topics to start with, and I do not.
So with what shall I begin?
And what short topic do I have time to discuss over this meager lunch break...?
I've never been a lover of food. Or rather I've never been a lover of eating. This is shocking to some, who have so long been taught that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach". (Not so with me -- the way to my heart is through my mind.) I can enjoy the taste of food like any other human. I do have taste buds. But the sensation those taste buds give me is rarely anything to write home about. And those rare times when the taste of food does send ripples of enjoyment through my body, it is most often because I had had an urge for such a particular food. (Why I sometimes have urges for particular foods is another topic, I think, though likely not one of much interest.)
There are also other factors. I have many strange eating problems. I am allergic to potatoes, for one. Yes, it is true -- no fries, no chips, no scalloped potatoes, no potato skins, no hash browns, no mashed, no boiled, no stuffed. But that reality is not really a reason I don't care much for eating. Not everything good to eat has potato in it.
A far greater factor is that I have dental problems. I had not only horribly crowded teeth, but also an underbite (I say had, because if one looks in my mouth -- not that anyone but dentistry students would want to -- they will not see crowded upper teeth. That is because I had the horrible things pulled and replaced with far superior porcelain ones. I suppose porcelain teeth and their benefits might be another days discussion if I can truly think of nothing better to talk about). So to make up for the underbite, my lower teeth grew backwards into my mouth so they would connect with my upper incisors. This worked all well and good for biting purposes, but permanently kept my molars from ever touching all the way in the back of my mouth. So, to put it another way, I cannot very efficiently grind my food, as I have to use my premolars for that. That means that it is very difficult to eat most meats and any vegetable or fruit with skin.
As if trouble chewing food weren't (Yes, it's "weren't" not "wasn't"; some of us still use the subjunctive.) enough, I have a worse problem of not being able to swallow food on occasion. I have a condition where the valve from my esophagus to my stomach is faulty and sometimes closes shut and will not open. When this happens, the food just starts piling up in my esophagus as I eat. That's not much room to store food, so it becomes painful and gives me the hiccups. I cannot even drink. Liquids will also just fill up the tube until... well, enough gory details. I've had surgery on this condition twice, but the problem has not ever fully gone away.
And if the food actually does get chewed and swallowed successfully, very often -- and I haven't yet figured this one out -- I get an itchy throat. If it continues, that itchy feeling spreads into my chest and ears until it becomes very unpleasant and painful. The same sensation occurs many times when I drink anything except water. One of these days I will experiment to figure out what the heck is going on there.
So, suffice it to say that eating is not always a pleasant thing.
But it is more the core issue of even having to eat that bothers me. When I stop and think of all the time I could have to do other things, like read or write or learn something new, for example, I wish that I never had to eat. Perhaps if eating did not have its problems for me and if it were a more pleasurable thing for me in even in the absence of those problems, I might feel differently.
Some people say that they like to eat because it can be a good time to sit and talk with friends. Well, though I do this, I think I myself would achieve far much more talking if I didn't have to worry about talking with food in my mouth. As it is, my food generally goes cold due to my conversations long before I finish eating it, if I finish eating it. Half the time, I just get bored and give up.
So in my ideal world, I think that I would design a Human Media Broth (Humor me). For those with knowledge of biology and molecular biology, you may see where I am going with this. I think it would be wonderful to have some sort of permanent IV system that could pump in all my body's minimal nutrients -- a perfect, personalized balance of carbohydrates, lipids, and amino acids. Think of the benefits! One would have more time in the day to do things he or she really wanted to do. One would produce almost no bodily waste. One would stay healthier. And it's not like one could not still eat. Any food eaten would be solely for enjoyment's sake, but never necessary for survival.
I can hear you laughing at me, and I am fully aware that maybe two other people in the world would go for this besides me, but there it is....
We shall hope to do better in coming entries....