On Feminine vs. Girly
I've been wanting to write about the definition of femininity for a long time now, but it's not an easy thing at all to define.
I have been leaning more and more towards a definition that is based on association/relationship with other people as opposed to anything actually inherent in women.[1] (This also seems to be the kind of definition held to by C.S. Lewis, and he is generally smarter than I.)
But to complicate matters further, I think I have been noticing that men's ideas of femininity are very different from women's ideas of femininity.
I realized that, for myself at least, feminine and girly (Girl-like is probably a better term.) are very different things.
I am attracted to feminine and not usually attracted to girly -- with exceptions to the latter.
Note that I am not repulsed by girly, just not attracted to it. (In contrast, I am repulsed my masculinity in women.[2]) I actually quite enjoy that my wife, sadeyedartist, has many "girly" elements to her personality, because I see these as childlikeness (and not childishness).[3] They are things in which I have zero interest for myself yet I delight in seeing in her because they are a part of her personality and they add to her fun-ness and cuteness. (To me, a gorgeous woman -- like her -- is simultaneously beautiful and cute.)
Anyhow, I wanted to test my theory, so here are two long polls -- one for men and one for women.... (If you don't distinguish between the two terms, you can answer with "both" or "neither".)
Poll Men Only: Are the following things feminine or girly?
Poll Women Only: Are the following things feminine or girly?
(I could have listed tons of fashion items and clothes, but it would have been too excessive....)
I have been leaning more and more towards a definition that is based on association/relationship with other people as opposed to anything actually inherent in women.[1] (This also seems to be the kind of definition held to by C.S. Lewis, and he is generally smarter than I.)
But to complicate matters further, I think I have been noticing that men's ideas of femininity are very different from women's ideas of femininity.
I realized that, for myself at least, feminine and girly (Girl-like is probably a better term.) are very different things.
I am attracted to feminine and not usually attracted to girly -- with exceptions to the latter.
Note that I am not repulsed by girly, just not attracted to it. (In contrast, I am repulsed my masculinity in women.[2]) I actually quite enjoy that my wife, sadeyedartist, has many "girly" elements to her personality, because I see these as childlikeness (and not childishness).[3] They are things in which I have zero interest for myself yet I delight in seeing in her because they are a part of her personality and they add to her fun-ness and cuteness. (To me, a gorgeous woman -- like her -- is simultaneously beautiful and cute.)
Anyhow, I wanted to test my theory, so here are two long polls -- one for men and one for women.... (If you don't distinguish between the two terms, you can answer with "both" or "neither".)
Poll Men Only: Are the following things feminine or girly?
Poll Women Only: Are the following things feminine or girly?
(I could have listed tons of fashion items and clothes, but it would have been too excessive....)