Life isn't fair, there are no happy endings, etc. etc. on and on

[lhhf2009]

So... today I helped my dad's friend move some of his parents' furniture out of the old house. They died earlier this year. Within three months of each other. When his mum died... his dad just didn't have the desire to live anymore. And he just kind of faded out of reality and his health went downhill rapidly. It's sort of like that old expression... at least I think it's that old expression... that men don't survive their women. Random, yeah. But for some reason that really sticks out for me. But... jeez.... the guy is so broken up about it. It's really heartbreaking. He said that last night he watched the Navy vs. Notre Dame football game with his fathers ashes like he used to when his dad was alive. He kept going around the house picking things up. Everything had a story behind it. Some fond memory that caused him heart wrenching anguish. His parents were really the only people he had in his life... He was married for a time, but his wife cheated on him and they divorced. He lost the only people that he loved. It's clear even to me that he feels completely alone. Heartbreaking. Sometimes the world is unbearably depressing.
My thirteen year old cousin is having open heart surgery done on Wednesday. He's having a valve replaced... it's going to greatly reduce danger of sudden heart failure. Whiiiiich is good. He has marfans syndrome and he's a really terrific kid. I love him so much and I'm terrified about this whole operation. I hope my luck doesn't with recent things doesn't get mixed up in his operation.
When everything is completely fucked and you know its your fault... that is unpleasant. Stupid fucking pills won't work and the only good thing I had... I screwed up. Fucking great!
Life sucks.