Inside looking Out
What a hectic post few days. My mind has been going and going, and it's still going. I do so hate it when I have when I have decisions to make, important decisions. Or, when I find something out about myself , and have to process and come to terms with it. I hate when, after finally making a decision, there are still some things nagging at the back of my mind. Sometimes, being so complex is very frustrating.
Worse yet, while I'm sure I made the right decision, I am not able to fully show how happy and please I am with it, because of my own personal problems and what not.
I wrote a blog once, a few months back, that pretty much asked, how will i find someone who is willing to be patient enough and caring enough to help me work through my problems. My problems being my inability to completely open up. After to many harsh relationships before, I'm having trouble completely opening up. I honestly have forgotten how to let down that final barrier all the way.
It's as though I'm trapped in a glass box, and instead of it breaking when I hit it, I find it only shakes. Nothing I've tried will break the glass, and I've no gun to shoot it.
So, I'm stuck on the inside, looking out. I can feel everything around me, but I can't show others how I feel.
Worse yet, while I'm sure I made the right decision, I am not able to fully show how happy and please I am with it, because of my own personal problems and what not.
I wrote a blog once, a few months back, that pretty much asked, how will i find someone who is willing to be patient enough and caring enough to help me work through my problems. My problems being my inability to completely open up. After to many harsh relationships before, I'm having trouble completely opening up. I honestly have forgotten how to let down that final barrier all the way.
It's as though I'm trapped in a glass box, and instead of it breaking when I hit it, I find it only shakes. Nothing I've tried will break the glass, and I've no gun to shoot it.
So, I'm stuck on the inside, looking out. I can feel everything around me, but I can't show others how I feel.