yesterday's.gone.
I really don't even know like where the fuck to start.
Maybe inserting that I just finished taking a bath in the dark while wearing my sunglasses would be a hint at how terrible I am feeling.
I don't want to give this a lot of effort or even dedicate a fucking lj to this boy. But I do feel it is necessary to get a few things off my chest.
Friday I was excited, looked pretty ok, and bought boo's before going with Suse to pick up Kevin from the train.
He was even hotter than I could have imagined. Dressed amazingly and gave good hugs.
We got back to my house and started drinking. Due to being on uppers for the last 3 days I had only had a couple of meals and drank slow to keep from getting wasted and making a fool of myself/
We got along uber well he also loved my family and I got an approval from Dabuhd which is like HUGE! And I fucking kept my legs closed telling the boy I wanted to wait/.///Why did I want to wait? Because the boy was feeding my EAR+HEART LIES!@ And me being an idiot believed almost every single lie he had to tell/.
I don't fucking get why he had to get emotions involved I would have been fine with just hooking up I didn't need to fucking have someone feed me bull shit to get in between my legs.
Saturday about 45 minutes after sexy time he told me some bull shit about why shit wouldn't work out. My response was "You need to go on the couch. You need to go on the couch now." along with a stern "There were a lot of things you should not have said"
After sending him away from my face I cried. I cried over some douche bag I had known for like 4 days. Of course I never let him see me cry but I was so fucking upset it was ridiculous. James was going to bed and sat with me as long as he could sit awake for. Amanda was in Fox Lake, Mikey and Patrick were downtown and I was hysterical and lonely. After finally calming myself down I hit up Patrick's some-what twin (except 18 yr old patrick is hotter//) anyhow I played with him while ass fuck was sleeping only a few feet below me on the couch in the living room.
I think that was a pretty amazing recover.
But if that was so good why am I still so sad....
Maybe inserting that I just finished taking a bath in the dark while wearing my sunglasses would be a hint at how terrible I am feeling.
I don't want to give this a lot of effort or even dedicate a fucking lj to this boy. But I do feel it is necessary to get a few things off my chest.
Friday I was excited, looked pretty ok, and bought boo's before going with Suse to pick up Kevin from the train.
He was even hotter than I could have imagined. Dressed amazingly and gave good hugs.
We got back to my house and started drinking. Due to being on uppers for the last 3 days I had only had a couple of meals and drank slow to keep from getting wasted and making a fool of myself/
We got along uber well he also loved my family and I got an approval from Dabuhd which is like HUGE! And I fucking kept my legs closed telling the boy I wanted to wait/.///Why did I want to wait? Because the boy was feeding my EAR+HEART LIES!@ And me being an idiot believed almost every single lie he had to tell/.
I don't fucking get why he had to get emotions involved I would have been fine with just hooking up I didn't need to fucking have someone feed me bull shit to get in between my legs.
Saturday about 45 minutes after sexy time he told me some bull shit about why shit wouldn't work out. My response was "You need to go on the couch. You need to go on the couch now." along with a stern "There were a lot of things you should not have said"
After sending him away from my face I cried. I cried over some douche bag I had known for like 4 days. Of course I never let him see me cry but I was so fucking upset it was ridiculous. James was going to bed and sat with me as long as he could sit awake for. Amanda was in Fox Lake, Mikey and Patrick were downtown and I was hysterical and lonely. After finally calming myself down I hit up Patrick's some-what twin (except 18 yr old patrick is hotter//) anyhow I played with him while ass fuck was sleeping only a few feet below me on the couch in the living room.
I think that was a pretty amazing recover.
But if that was so good why am I still so sad....
