Thoughts
I realised something to day, in 14 weeks and 5 days I'll be 18.
I know when I turn 18, that I'll be able to do more things legally, and it's also a step closer to going to uni (which I can't wait to do). But, it also means I'm getting older and more mature, I'll no longer be the teenager, and I feel that more will be expected of me because I'll be older.
I'm sure most go through this, (just look at the myths of the Fountain of Youth) and that it's all part of growing up, but it's really hit me this morning. When I was 16, I never wanted to be 17, and now that I'm 17, I don't want to be 18. It's frustrating as there is nothing that I can do about it that I'll eventually get older like everyone else.
I suppose I'm scared of wasting my life away, I'm getting to the age of 18 and I have nothing to show for it. What if I get to 50, and I've made nothing of my life? That, at 17, I was made to make decisions about the rest of my life, regarding career, and it was wrong?
My choices of uni, courses and careers, are so erratic, I must have changed what I've wanted to do about 15 times in the last year. From Neuroscience at Manchester, Midwifery at Kingston, Psychology Doctorate at Hull, and now I'm dead set (like I was with all my other choices) on Animal Management and Training/Behaviour at Bishop Burton. Even the most influential person in my life things I'm making the wrong decision, and my teachers are getting frustrated by my changes.
With this latest choice, Animal Management, I just think it'd be something that I'd enjoy, and it'd keep me interested in learning, rather than either having a gap year, were I probably wouldn't go back, or choosing something that I feel is expected of me, some kind of "professional" course, like Psychology, or Business Management, that I'd end up being bored of, and most likely dropping out.
I suppose I'm scared of making the wrong choices or doing something I don't want to do to make other people happy.
Spade
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I know when I turn 18, that I'll be able to do more things legally, and it's also a step closer to going to uni (which I can't wait to do). But, it also means I'm getting older and more mature, I'll no longer be the teenager, and I feel that more will be expected of me because I'll be older.
I'm sure most go through this, (just look at the myths of the Fountain of Youth) and that it's all part of growing up, but it's really hit me this morning. When I was 16, I never wanted to be 17, and now that I'm 17, I don't want to be 18. It's frustrating as there is nothing that I can do about it that I'll eventually get older like everyone else.
I suppose I'm scared of wasting my life away, I'm getting to the age of 18 and I have nothing to show for it. What if I get to 50, and I've made nothing of my life? That, at 17, I was made to make decisions about the rest of my life, regarding career, and it was wrong?
My choices of uni, courses and careers, are so erratic, I must have changed what I've wanted to do about 15 times in the last year. From Neuroscience at Manchester, Midwifery at Kingston, Psychology Doctorate at Hull, and now I'm dead set (like I was with all my other choices) on Animal Management and Training/Behaviour at Bishop Burton. Even the most influential person in my life things I'm making the wrong decision, and my teachers are getting frustrated by my changes.
With this latest choice, Animal Management, I just think it'd be something that I'd enjoy, and it'd keep me interested in learning, rather than either having a gap year, were I probably wouldn't go back, or choosing something that I feel is expected of me, some kind of "professional" course, like Psychology, or Business Management, that I'd end up being bored of, and most likely dropping out.
I suppose I'm scared of making the wrong choices or doing something I don't want to do to make other people happy.
Spade
x