From the Kong of Hong to the Highest of the High Shangs
Hey everybody,
It's been a long time, too long as far as some of you were concerned, you just needed that global fix. You needed to know what people were doing halfway (or more) across the globe to sleep peacefylly knowing that we, the travelling denizens of the global program (not trip, it is by no means a trip), have not been killed, stabbed, mauled, robbed, bludgeoned, curmudgeoned, slinked, groped, sloshed, wrinkled, or even folded in a way inconvenient to our own personal styles. In fact, the opposite could be said as Hong Kong has spoilt us allowing us all kinds of freedom and independence the likes of which the world (as it exists in the minds of globalites) has never seen or even imagined (we have oddly limited imaginations here on global, perhaps that's why we're on global). Now don't get defensive all ye parents and friends who would like to believe that your child is very creative and in fact makes you laugh every day, you're children, for the sake of this e-mail, are very uncreative, s o much so that they wouldn't and couldn't find an alternative and more aesthetically pleasing alternative to the word "uncreative". So hush.
Our nice long break of a week in Thailand left us rejuvenated ready to take on the world (meaning the Hong Kong, Shanghai, Beijing, South Korea, and Hawaii ( I fear that as a result we will be bitterly ill-equipped to deal with any part of the world that can't be described as "somewhat asian". (Yes, I realize China and South Korea are more than just "somewhat asian". (Quiet.)))). We arrived in the technologically advanced though noticeably polluted land of the Kong of Hong. For those of you not down with the Kong, the Chinese meaning of Hong Kong is "fragrant harbor" and was for a long time occupied by the Brits. For those of you who were down with the Kong, and still are for that matter, you could have disregarded that last part, but you didn't, it'd be too hard to reverse time and so you can't, so moving on. We stayed in the fantastically luxurious Horizon Suite Hotels that caters not only to your needs but also to a little bit less than that. Figure it out. The apartments to say the least were nice, we had our own cooking "surface", for that's exactly what it was: a glorified hot plate that enabled to inhabitants of my room to make our share of grilled cheeses (or cheesi, I can never remember irregular plurals). An average night when we didn't go out on the town consisted of peacefully smoking some shisha in a hookah, watching a movie on the DVD player we purchased, and then add in a good amount of booze, beer, cocktails. Not to upset those of you with parental concern or worry you with fears of binge-drinking but the room of 1275 acrued an estimated total of over 200 beer cans which were then stacked ceremoniously in the corner of our counter forming a tower to rival all beer can towers of past global experiences (of which I'm not aware that there are any and so...can safely declare ours to be the best and supreme overlord of all beer towers worthy of its glorious title and top rank under the "Beer-towers-made-while-on-Global-Semester-in-Hong-Kong-consumed-by-a-combination-of-the-residents-of-room-1275-and-various-peoples-of-others-Ole-inhabited-rooms Hall of Fame" under the name of Lagerty O'Malley Burgess Henge. Truly, a great and horribly disgusting accomplishment to be revered and repulsed by due to all the societal intonations it makes on the subject of college-aged drinking habits and their affects on abroad experiences.
The free-time of Hong Kong was much, and the field-trips to places of cheap amusements equally muchful. Educationally, we didn't actually have all that much in Hong Kong to fill our plate besides an "Arts of China" course which despite its relatively interesting content (in contrast to the cornocopia of lecture topics featured in India which drove many of us to do things and such that would sound crazy....imagine them yourself....ooh how horrible they are....how gruesome.....oooooooh.....oooooh....(remember that lack of imagination thing I mentioned, I'm playing off that, if you got it awesome, thanks for playing around...if not...pay more attention...on we go)). Upon finishing our final 3-page double-spaced papers and the quiz of El Classo Del Donna (McMillan) we were released from the constraints, unfortunately this came pretty close to the end and so I'd be lying if I attempted to tell you about all the cool stuff of Hong Kong and said it happened all in the final days of Hong Kong, so I won't lie (cause I never lie) and will divulge my remaining secrets of the Kong to you.......NOW>>>
Among the various Hong Kong experiences we have these:
10. The Hong Kong Skyline...simply: beautiful...complexly: an intricate blending of nature and man-made megalomania sees skyscrapers wedged into and before a noticeably green hilly backdrop reminiscent of the once pristine jade isles of Hon Kong pre-industrialization. However, the combination of well designed and architecurally entrancing skyscrapers makes for a skyline that I personally think everyone should see, from across the bay, up close, and on top of a ferry. All three sights are magical* and will give you a deeper appreciation of cityscapes and a deeper understanding of the modern Hong Kong culture.
*magical in the awe-inspiring there's-something-sorta-mystical-about-it kind of way not the wizards and faeries fly about in fantastical feuds of spells of sorcery. Not that magical....the first one.
9. Hong Kong Disneyland and the Ocean Park...forget everything you know about US Disney and theme parks: the long lines, popcorn paved streets, the hour it takes to cross from one side of the park to the other, people dressed up as characters like Donald Duck or Bugs Bunny being 8 feet tall. No, none of these apply. It would seem that the people of Asia are more interested in visual stimulation, don't like popcorn all that much but even if they did are far too tidy to drop even a single kernel on the ground in fear of encouraging avian bird flu, have shorter legs and are thus unable to go to parks that take longer than 10 minutes (max) to walk from one end to the other, and (this is going back to the short legged thing) produce really short costumed characters (Buzz Lightyear was shorter than us...and he's supposed to be tall....all galactic rangers are....nerd).
8. Louis Vuitton, I-don't-know-his-first-name Prada, and other expensively dressed people run amok. In Hong Kong it is impossible, IMPOSSIBLE, not merely inconceivable ("You keep using that word, I do not think that word means what you think it means"...hahahaha), IMPOSSIBLE to go anywhere downtown whether that be Kowloon, HK Island, etc without seeing a store for an overly priced brand name every 100 feet or so. IT just doesn't happen. You will see one. Even the blind can sense them. It's just that strong of a presence. The presence is so strong that even Stretch Armstrong himself said "Damn, that's pretty strong." That's an actual quote, feel free to take that to the press.**
**Not an actual quote...don't take to the press...but still mention my name....say I'm "nifty".
7. Public Transportation. Octupus card. Recharged it about 5 times. Really convenient. Easy to use system. Very Public. Very transporty. Come together. Make public transportation. Chill for 1 hour. Serves 5.
6. My Birthday. I'm cool, older, yatta yatta. We went to a Russian Ice Bar whose name is slightly too hard to spell, it begins with a 'B' and so forth. We go into the freezer wearing provided fur coats and hats, take flavored (deliciously flavored, I might and did add) shots of vodka, take pictures, and go back into the main restaurant once the novelty effect wears off. Overall good night.
5. Hong Kong Public Zoo. HKong had a zoo. IT was public, and by that I mean it was free. I realize a lot of zoos are public but still charge. Well this one was free. It made me hunger for the past days of Brookfield and Milwaukee zoo glory. They had a fairly good selection mainly a healthy supply of birds and monkeys but with a few others. Of particular interest was the reptile "house" which was less of a house and more of a five foot hallway that featured a pygmy crocodile, a boa constrictor, and separate cages for the two. Quite an achievement right there. But on the plus side, their aviary, (ironic that a country/continent scared out of their minds would have ornithological fancies) was superb with a huge flock of flamingos all standing (very stereotypically I might add) on one foot with very vivid coloration. I think it's about time someone led the flamingo revolution that encouraged them to either spend more time on both legs or just kick the standing habit and learn to levitate. Either go all the way or don't play the gimmick at all, we don't need you phoning in how "different" you are. But still flamingos, we love you. But grow a spine. that isn't oddly curved...cause your necks are sorta weird.
4. Market places. Like Egypt's Khan Elkalili (spelling....way off...but you wouldn't have known that otherwise), this is a place to buy knock-offs, stolen goods, authentic antiques, false antiques, pirated stuff, birds, and flowers and virtually everything else. Personally, I didn't invest too much time into the markets here...but honestly, the people of Hong Kong can't hold a haggle-match against we Egypt hardened hagglers of Global. They cave far easier than they ought.
3. Victoria's Peak. The famed mountain top of Hong Kong lore (maybe, don't call me on that...I didn't hear too much Hong Kong lore...probalby isn't too much to begin with) offers breaktaking views of the surrounding areas (according to Frommer's Guide to Hong Kong) and unfortunately has become a commercialized zone unto itself. Before I get into that, Victoria's peak really is amazing, while I didn't do a full day to take the hike, I did take the trolley up on my own one evening and took in the sites. ON the other side of that we have the huge mall that has essentially been built into the peak that you need to find your way through...
2. Chinese Art. Since this was the subject of our course, it's only natural that it wouldplay a relatively large part of our experience and yes, we did gain a new appreciation for a variety of Chinese art forms. We now know more about jade than we necessarily otherwise would have and we now know that nothing you ind at the Temple Street market will ever be jade. EVER. ALong with class, we also learned things about China via NAtional Geographic channel on TV. But that's all I'll say about that. But parents I encourage you, subscribe to that cable channel you'll learn much and credit me for doing so.
1. Escalators. Odd right? That escalators would be such a major aspect of what Hong Kong is? But it's not just the escalators but rather the idea of escalators and where they're commonly found: The Malls of Hong Kong. Which I guess should have been the main subject, but then it would have been hard to work in that Hong Kong has the longest running covered escalator in the world and that I went on it all the way up. But seriously....malls. Malls shall be the topic. Malls are not just a convenient place to get all your shopping done they are a crucial aspect to Hong Kong life and living situations are oriented around whether or not there' s a mall nearby. For us, fortunately, there were many. Faaaaaaaar too many. ANd they were huge, sometimes thre, four times bigger than the entire world itself which seems physically and rationally impossible, though that's just the point, these malls were physically and even spiritually (these malls had souls) dense. These malls throbbed, pulsated with life. To deny that Hong Kong's lifeblood exists within its malls is denying the very core of Hong Kong culture: consumption and materiallism. Our grocery store: inside a mall. Our closest bus stop: Underneath a mall. Mall, mall, mall. Say it enough it begins to lose meaning and the word sounds sort of funny. And for us it was funny, we were living vicariously, every experience through some sort of mall. even Victoria's peak, which sounds like it should be a nature embracing and spiritually refilling experience had a mall on top of it that you had to march through to get to the top. Mall. Mall of America eat your hard out, its not about size, its about relevance. Sure people go to you to say they saw and entered and got reamed on prices at the largest mall in the world. But people live, metaphorically in the malls of Hong Kong.
SO that was Hong Kong for us. ME especially, but us being a rough population of global. Now we're in Shanghai China, it's Christmas Eve, we've just had dinner of Turkey, sang Christmas carols and viewed the pictures of our childhood that out parents sent to Donna. How cute, how adorable gushy gushy. IT was a fun evening, we laughed, we cried, we ate, we walked, we sat, verb, verb, verb. I've been going nuts snatching up tons of DVDs that each cost me a total of about 50 cents. Yay for that. The street food of Shanghai has proven delectable and it's out first truly delicious experience of Chinese food since Hong Kong was overly Americanized in the food category. Huzzah Huzzah. Tomorrow, Christmas we get on a train and start our way towards Beijing, or as the natives call it Peking (true). Merry Christmas. Happy Channukah. Happy Kwanzaa. Whathaveyou. Etc. Also, while in Shanghai I met up with Ben Guthrie, we enjoyed his insight into Shanghai and then he left us for Thailand. Ah well. Abby's had a friend of hers help us out since then and life's been interesting. Shopping for knock-offs of stuff and such.
Until NExt we meet,
Alex Walker
It's been a long time, too long as far as some of you were concerned, you just needed that global fix. You needed to know what people were doing halfway (or more) across the globe to sleep peacefylly knowing that we, the travelling denizens of the global program (not trip, it is by no means a trip), have not been killed, stabbed, mauled, robbed, bludgeoned, curmudgeoned, slinked, groped, sloshed, wrinkled, or even folded in a way inconvenient to our own personal styles. In fact, the opposite could be said as Hong Kong has spoilt us allowing us all kinds of freedom and independence the likes of which the world (as it exists in the minds of globalites) has never seen or even imagined (we have oddly limited imaginations here on global, perhaps that's why we're on global). Now don't get defensive all ye parents and friends who would like to believe that your child is very creative and in fact makes you laugh every day, you're children, for the sake of this e-mail, are very uncreative, s o much so that they wouldn't and couldn't find an alternative and more aesthetically pleasing alternative to the word "uncreative". So hush.
Our nice long break of a week in Thailand left us rejuvenated ready to take on the world (meaning the Hong Kong, Shanghai, Beijing, South Korea, and Hawaii ( I fear that as a result we will be bitterly ill-equipped to deal with any part of the world that can't be described as "somewhat asian". (Yes, I realize China and South Korea are more than just "somewhat asian". (Quiet.)))). We arrived in the technologically advanced though noticeably polluted land of the Kong of Hong. For those of you not down with the Kong, the Chinese meaning of Hong Kong is "fragrant harbor" and was for a long time occupied by the Brits. For those of you who were down with the Kong, and still are for that matter, you could have disregarded that last part, but you didn't, it'd be too hard to reverse time and so you can't, so moving on. We stayed in the fantastically luxurious Horizon Suite Hotels that caters not only to your needs but also to a little bit less than that. Figure it out. The apartments to say the least were nice, we had our own cooking "surface", for that's exactly what it was: a glorified hot plate that enabled to inhabitants of my room to make our share of grilled cheeses (or cheesi, I can never remember irregular plurals). An average night when we didn't go out on the town consisted of peacefully smoking some shisha in a hookah, watching a movie on the DVD player we purchased, and then add in a good amount of booze, beer, cocktails. Not to upset those of you with parental concern or worry you with fears of binge-drinking but the room of 1275 acrued an estimated total of over 200 beer cans which were then stacked ceremoniously in the corner of our counter forming a tower to rival all beer can towers of past global experiences (of which I'm not aware that there are any and so...can safely declare ours to be the best and supreme overlord of all beer towers worthy of its glorious title and top rank under the "Beer-towers-made-while-on-Global-Semester-in-Hong-Kong-consumed-by-a-combination-of-the-residents-of-room-1275-and-various-peoples-of-others-Ole-inhabited-rooms Hall of Fame" under the name of Lagerty O'Malley Burgess Henge. Truly, a great and horribly disgusting accomplishment to be revered and repulsed by due to all the societal intonations it makes on the subject of college-aged drinking habits and their affects on abroad experiences.
The free-time of Hong Kong was much, and the field-trips to places of cheap amusements equally muchful. Educationally, we didn't actually have all that much in Hong Kong to fill our plate besides an "Arts of China" course which despite its relatively interesting content (in contrast to the cornocopia of lecture topics featured in India which drove many of us to do things and such that would sound crazy....imagine them yourself....ooh how horrible they are....how gruesome.....oooooooh.....oooooh....(remember that lack of imagination thing I mentioned, I'm playing off that, if you got it awesome, thanks for playing around...if not...pay more attention...on we go)). Upon finishing our final 3-page double-spaced papers and the quiz of El Classo Del Donna (McMillan) we were released from the constraints, unfortunately this came pretty close to the end and so I'd be lying if I attempted to tell you about all the cool stuff of Hong Kong and said it happened all in the final days of Hong Kong, so I won't lie (cause I never lie) and will divulge my remaining secrets of the Kong to you.......NOW>>>
Among the various Hong Kong experiences we have these:
10. The Hong Kong Skyline...simply: beautiful...complexly: an intricate blending of nature and man-made megalomania sees skyscrapers wedged into and before a noticeably green hilly backdrop reminiscent of the once pristine jade isles of Hon Kong pre-industrialization. However, the combination of well designed and architecurally entrancing skyscrapers makes for a skyline that I personally think everyone should see, from across the bay, up close, and on top of a ferry. All three sights are magical* and will give you a deeper appreciation of cityscapes and a deeper understanding of the modern Hong Kong culture.
*magical in the awe-inspiring there's-something-sorta-mystical-about-it kind of way not the wizards and faeries fly about in fantastical feuds of spells of sorcery. Not that magical....the first one.
9. Hong Kong Disneyland and the Ocean Park...forget everything you know about US Disney and theme parks: the long lines, popcorn paved streets, the hour it takes to cross from one side of the park to the other, people dressed up as characters like Donald Duck or Bugs Bunny being 8 feet tall. No, none of these apply. It would seem that the people of Asia are more interested in visual stimulation, don't like popcorn all that much but even if they did are far too tidy to drop even a single kernel on the ground in fear of encouraging avian bird flu, have shorter legs and are thus unable to go to parks that take longer than 10 minutes (max) to walk from one end to the other, and (this is going back to the short legged thing) produce really short costumed characters (Buzz Lightyear was shorter than us...and he's supposed to be tall....all galactic rangers are....nerd).
8. Louis Vuitton, I-don't-know-his-first-name Prada, and other expensively dressed people run amok. In Hong Kong it is impossible, IMPOSSIBLE, not merely inconceivable ("You keep using that word, I do not think that word means what you think it means"...hahahaha), IMPOSSIBLE to go anywhere downtown whether that be Kowloon, HK Island, etc without seeing a store for an overly priced brand name every 100 feet or so. IT just doesn't happen. You will see one. Even the blind can sense them. It's just that strong of a presence. The presence is so strong that even Stretch Armstrong himself said "Damn, that's pretty strong." That's an actual quote, feel free to take that to the press.**
**Not an actual quote...don't take to the press...but still mention my name....say I'm "nifty".
7. Public Transportation. Octupus card. Recharged it about 5 times. Really convenient. Easy to use system. Very Public. Very transporty. Come together. Make public transportation. Chill for 1 hour. Serves 5.
6. My Birthday. I'm cool, older, yatta yatta. We went to a Russian Ice Bar whose name is slightly too hard to spell, it begins with a 'B' and so forth. We go into the freezer wearing provided fur coats and hats, take flavored (deliciously flavored, I might and did add) shots of vodka, take pictures, and go back into the main restaurant once the novelty effect wears off. Overall good night.
5. Hong Kong Public Zoo. HKong had a zoo. IT was public, and by that I mean it was free. I realize a lot of zoos are public but still charge. Well this one was free. It made me hunger for the past days of Brookfield and Milwaukee zoo glory. They had a fairly good selection mainly a healthy supply of birds and monkeys but with a few others. Of particular interest was the reptile "house" which was less of a house and more of a five foot hallway that featured a pygmy crocodile, a boa constrictor, and separate cages for the two. Quite an achievement right there. But on the plus side, their aviary, (ironic that a country/continent scared out of their minds would have ornithological fancies) was superb with a huge flock of flamingos all standing (very stereotypically I might add) on one foot with very vivid coloration. I think it's about time someone led the flamingo revolution that encouraged them to either spend more time on both legs or just kick the standing habit and learn to levitate. Either go all the way or don't play the gimmick at all, we don't need you phoning in how "different" you are. But still flamingos, we love you. But grow a spine. that isn't oddly curved...cause your necks are sorta weird.
4. Market places. Like Egypt's Khan Elkalili (spelling....way off...but you wouldn't have known that otherwise), this is a place to buy knock-offs, stolen goods, authentic antiques, false antiques, pirated stuff, birds, and flowers and virtually everything else. Personally, I didn't invest too much time into the markets here...but honestly, the people of Hong Kong can't hold a haggle-match against we Egypt hardened hagglers of Global. They cave far easier than they ought.
3. Victoria's Peak. The famed mountain top of Hong Kong lore (maybe, don't call me on that...I didn't hear too much Hong Kong lore...probalby isn't too much to begin with) offers breaktaking views of the surrounding areas (according to Frommer's Guide to Hong Kong) and unfortunately has become a commercialized zone unto itself. Before I get into that, Victoria's peak really is amazing, while I didn't do a full day to take the hike, I did take the trolley up on my own one evening and took in the sites. ON the other side of that we have the huge mall that has essentially been built into the peak that you need to find your way through...
2. Chinese Art. Since this was the subject of our course, it's only natural that it wouldplay a relatively large part of our experience and yes, we did gain a new appreciation for a variety of Chinese art forms. We now know more about jade than we necessarily otherwise would have and we now know that nothing you ind at the Temple Street market will ever be jade. EVER. ALong with class, we also learned things about China via NAtional Geographic channel on TV. But that's all I'll say about that. But parents I encourage you, subscribe to that cable channel you'll learn much and credit me for doing so.
1. Escalators. Odd right? That escalators would be such a major aspect of what Hong Kong is? But it's not just the escalators but rather the idea of escalators and where they're commonly found: The Malls of Hong Kong. Which I guess should have been the main subject, but then it would have been hard to work in that Hong Kong has the longest running covered escalator in the world and that I went on it all the way up. But seriously....malls. Malls shall be the topic. Malls are not just a convenient place to get all your shopping done they are a crucial aspect to Hong Kong life and living situations are oriented around whether or not there' s a mall nearby. For us, fortunately, there were many. Faaaaaaaar too many. ANd they were huge, sometimes thre, four times bigger than the entire world itself which seems physically and rationally impossible, though that's just the point, these malls were physically and even spiritually (these malls had souls) dense. These malls throbbed, pulsated with life. To deny that Hong Kong's lifeblood exists within its malls is denying the very core of Hong Kong culture: consumption and materiallism. Our grocery store: inside a mall. Our closest bus stop: Underneath a mall. Mall, mall, mall. Say it enough it begins to lose meaning and the word sounds sort of funny. And for us it was funny, we were living vicariously, every experience through some sort of mall. even Victoria's peak, which sounds like it should be a nature embracing and spiritually refilling experience had a mall on top of it that you had to march through to get to the top. Mall. Mall of America eat your hard out, its not about size, its about relevance. Sure people go to you to say they saw and entered and got reamed on prices at the largest mall in the world. But people live, metaphorically in the malls of Hong Kong.
SO that was Hong Kong for us. ME especially, but us being a rough population of global. Now we're in Shanghai China, it's Christmas Eve, we've just had dinner of Turkey, sang Christmas carols and viewed the pictures of our childhood that out parents sent to Donna. How cute, how adorable gushy gushy. IT was a fun evening, we laughed, we cried, we ate, we walked, we sat, verb, verb, verb. I've been going nuts snatching up tons of DVDs that each cost me a total of about 50 cents. Yay for that. The street food of Shanghai has proven delectable and it's out first truly delicious experience of Chinese food since Hong Kong was overly Americanized in the food category. Huzzah Huzzah. Tomorrow, Christmas we get on a train and start our way towards Beijing, or as the natives call it Peking (true). Merry Christmas. Happy Channukah. Happy Kwanzaa. Whathaveyou. Etc. Also, while in Shanghai I met up with Ben Guthrie, we enjoyed his insight into Shanghai and then he left us for Thailand. Ah well. Abby's had a friend of hers help us out since then and life's been interesting. Shopping for knock-offs of stuff and such.
Until NExt we meet,
Alex Walker