Everybodeeeee cries...
...at the sight of next week's skinny dipping. Thank you, Michael. You sum it up perfectly. Hold on, people. Just hold on. And if you're me, you're thinking, "wait a minute. 'Everybody Hurts'? What the?" Oh yes, of course. R.E.M. is on the WB label. R.E.M. also has a greatest hits album coming out next week. So naturally, the unholy sight of Clark and Lana swimming naked totally = early 90s R.E.M.! And if that makes you nostalgic for other R.E.M. hits of the nineties, why we have just the purchase for you! Thanks for almost ruining that song for me, dickholes. Luckily, it's Thursday and all memories of The Promo will be softly erased by the injection of 100 cc's of Dr. Kovac I'll be getting tonight. Ah, yeah...I'm talkin' the primo Croatian shit.
But enough about that. Some thoughts on Extinction:
1. Who the hell doesn't wear goggles and a swim cap when swimming for exercise? Gee, I suppose when you're the prepubescent wetdream of a collective of creepy older men who were probably big losers in high school and believe it's never too late to recreate your lost teen years to the general retching of the viewing public... well, you don't have time for protective eyewear! I'm sorry, was that a little harsh?
2. Enough with the fucking product placement! I don't want to hear it! Unless they can work in the Swiffer or Stoli.
3. If we take meteor freakdom as a metaphor for sexual deviance, Lana is Phyllis fucking Schafly.
4. Which brings me to the glimmer of hope I felt when Lex started to realize he, too, was a friend of the meteor rock. I honestly thought he'd figure out that if he's got a few "abilities", it's not impossible that Clark has them too, finally providing a "logical" explanation for the crash and one of my favorite fantasy queries: "Clark, are you... like me?"
Lex thought he heard you laughing, Clark. He thought he heard you sing. Just sing for him, dammit!
In other news, not unlike the Cubs, my left knee is cursed. Just 2 months after sustaining a mild tendon rupture from The Great Montana Rafting Incident of '03, I rocked it against my desk, producing a crash loud enough for coworkers 8 cubicles down to wonder aloud, "what the hell was that?" I've got a wicked bruise, though.
ETA: My office is crazy. We just had a banana bread bake-off. 15 people participated and the guy who won has never baked before! And he used wheat flour! He's the most popular kid in Marketing now. And we have a hell of a lot of banana bread to eat.
But enough about that. Some thoughts on Extinction:
1. Who the hell doesn't wear goggles and a swim cap when swimming for exercise? Gee, I suppose when you're the prepubescent wetdream of a collective of creepy older men who were probably big losers in high school and believe it's never too late to recreate your lost teen years to the general retching of the viewing public... well, you don't have time for protective eyewear! I'm sorry, was that a little harsh?
2. Enough with the fucking product placement! I don't want to hear it! Unless they can work in the Swiffer or Stoli.
3. If we take meteor freakdom as a metaphor for sexual deviance, Lana is Phyllis fucking Schafly.
4. Which brings me to the glimmer of hope I felt when Lex started to realize he, too, was a friend of the meteor rock. I honestly thought he'd figure out that if he's got a few "abilities", it's not impossible that Clark has them too, finally providing a "logical" explanation for the crash and one of my favorite fantasy queries: "Clark, are you... like me?"
Lex thought he heard you laughing, Clark. He thought he heard you sing. Just sing for him, dammit!
In other news, not unlike the Cubs, my left knee is cursed. Just 2 months after sustaining a mild tendon rupture from The Great Montana Rafting Incident of '03, I rocked it against my desk, producing a crash loud enough for coworkers 8 cubicles down to wonder aloud, "what the hell was that?" I've got a wicked bruise, though.
ETA: My office is crazy. We just had a banana bread bake-off. 15 people participated and the guy who won has never baked before! And he used wheat flour! He's the most popular kid in Marketing now. And we have a hell of a lot of banana bread to eat.