It strikes again when I least like it.
Boredom prevents me from doing anything productive.
Any idea on how I shall fix this?
Edit-ish... more like... this should be a whole different entry?
I'm so beyond confused it's not even funny.
A lot of the things I used to think have changed, and a lot of things about me have changed as well.
I don't know if I like it or not. I just... find it weird that I can literally feel and see the changes that I'm going through every day. I think that's what's making me so depressed tonight. Everything I've believed in for such a long time now is changing. Again.
I hate being a teenager. Finding out who you are is no fun, and it's tiring.
No more changes, God. Please? I can't handle it mentally or emotionally.
There's so much that I want... so much that I regret... and yet I keep making the same mistakes and missing out on all the opportunities to get what I want. I've messed things up so bad. I just keep making it worse and I hate it.
And oh my freaking gosh do I miss you.
It's so funny how you don't appreciate or really love someone/something until you don't have that someone/something any more.
1. Last month. My biggest regret ever.
2. I'm still unable to open up like I know I should.
3. He's still the only thing that sticks throughout the times, and I still blame everything on him even when I know that a lot of things are my fault. It always comes back to Todd.
4. My inability to cope with the little things, even if I can brush off the big things.
5. Tried to kill myself.
6. Didn't get as much from Laurelwood as I should have. Spent most of my time being social.
7. Breaking up with Cai. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never meant to, and never wanted to.
9. The fact that this list is getting bigger by the day.
etc, etc...
Whatever.
These hands are meant to hold...
Any idea on how I shall fix this?
Edit-ish... more like... this should be a whole different entry?
I'm so beyond confused it's not even funny.
A lot of the things I used to think have changed, and a lot of things about me have changed as well.
I don't know if I like it or not. I just... find it weird that I can literally feel and see the changes that I'm going through every day. I think that's what's making me so depressed tonight. Everything I've believed in for such a long time now is changing. Again.
I hate being a teenager. Finding out who you are is no fun, and it's tiring.
No more changes, God. Please? I can't handle it mentally or emotionally.
There's so much that I want... so much that I regret... and yet I keep making the same mistakes and missing out on all the opportunities to get what I want. I've messed things up so bad. I just keep making it worse and I hate it.
And oh my freaking gosh do I miss you.
It's so funny how you don't appreciate or really love someone/something until you don't have that someone/something any more.
1. Last month. My biggest regret ever.
2. I'm still unable to open up like I know I should.
3. He's still the only thing that sticks throughout the times, and I still blame everything on him even when I know that a lot of things are my fault. It always comes back to Todd.
4. My inability to cope with the little things, even if I can brush off the big things.
5. Tried to kill myself.
6. Didn't get as much from Laurelwood as I should have. Spent most of my time being social.
7. Breaking up with Cai. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never meant to, and never wanted to.
9. The fact that this list is getting bigger by the day.
etc, etc...
Whatever.
These hands are meant to hold...