(no subject)
this is awful, just really really awful.
i used to be able to sleep so easily. come 10 pm i would get in bed and be asleep within the hour. i actually was tired. but now, now it's so different. i don't remember the last time i went to bed at a proper hour (proper hour being prior to 2 am and i think i only went to bed before 2:30 am once). it's ridiculous. and i don't really like it to tell the truth. so now i get in bed and watch tv for a a bit and turn of the television and just lay there, eyes wide open, my mind racing. i try to clear it and close my eyes but then end up tossing and turning and usually turning on the tv again and repeating the whole process all over again.
it's freaking ridiculous and i hate it and want to know how to get rid of it. sleep just is so different now. i love it more than ever and i sleep through the night but i just can't manage to get to sleep in the first place. and going to bed at 3 am every night can not be good. not at all. especially on 8 am class days. not good in the least. how can i force myself to be tired prior to 3? anyone know. cuz i sure as hell would love to be let in on the little secret.
and no i don't have caffeine. so what is it then? what is it? overwhelming anxiety that keeps me up? very well could be. so what i should just take some nyquil or cough medicine to make me drowsy? but i don't want to become dependent - i don't want to not be able to sleep without that.
in a strange way it makes me sad that i can't sleep. sad that i've shifted so much to the point where i get 5 hours of sleep on a good night during the week and sometimes 3. and it's not that i'm up because i have homework to do that keeps me up late. i'm up doing nothing. i'm simply not tired! what gives with that? ay yi yi. so frustrating. seriously.
but on a happier note i will be home in 6 days. and that my friend is absurdly exciting. even with the crippling fear of flying i can still manage to be excited about going home. and for me, that is saying something.
g-d i really need to get some sleep but i seriously don't know how. and sorry for this pointless update.
p.s. late night tv sucks the big one. there's only so much "blind date" a gal can watch.
i used to be able to sleep so easily. come 10 pm i would get in bed and be asleep within the hour. i actually was tired. but now, now it's so different. i don't remember the last time i went to bed at a proper hour (proper hour being prior to 2 am and i think i only went to bed before 2:30 am once). it's ridiculous. and i don't really like it to tell the truth. so now i get in bed and watch tv for a a bit and turn of the television and just lay there, eyes wide open, my mind racing. i try to clear it and close my eyes but then end up tossing and turning and usually turning on the tv again and repeating the whole process all over again.
it's freaking ridiculous and i hate it and want to know how to get rid of it. sleep just is so different now. i love it more than ever and i sleep through the night but i just can't manage to get to sleep in the first place. and going to bed at 3 am every night can not be good. not at all. especially on 8 am class days. not good in the least. how can i force myself to be tired prior to 3? anyone know. cuz i sure as hell would love to be let in on the little secret.
and no i don't have caffeine. so what is it then? what is it? overwhelming anxiety that keeps me up? very well could be. so what i should just take some nyquil or cough medicine to make me drowsy? but i don't want to become dependent - i don't want to not be able to sleep without that.
in a strange way it makes me sad that i can't sleep. sad that i've shifted so much to the point where i get 5 hours of sleep on a good night during the week and sometimes 3. and it's not that i'm up because i have homework to do that keeps me up late. i'm up doing nothing. i'm simply not tired! what gives with that? ay yi yi. so frustrating. seriously.
but on a happier note i will be home in 6 days. and that my friend is absurdly exciting. even with the crippling fear of flying i can still manage to be excited about going home. and for me, that is saying something.
g-d i really need to get some sleep but i seriously don't know how. and sorry for this pointless update.
p.s. late night tv sucks the big one. there's only so much "blind date" a gal can watch.