"Yes it's hard to live, so hard to live in the city"
Living in New York has been quite an experience. I don’t think it has really hit me that I live and work in Manhattan. My mind gets a little blown if I think too hard about it. I still get a thrill when I see something addressed to my 10001 zip code apartment.
On some level, my life here has been much more glamorous and “Sex and the City” than I expected or thought it could be. Taking limo rides. Living in the biggest apartment I have seen in Manhattan, with a wonderful view of the city from the roof. My homing beacon has gone from the Citgo sign to the Empire State building. Having a first kiss happen after hours on the set of SNL where the hosts perform their opening monologues. Meeting a guy at a bar and bonding over music, and staying out all night sitting on a bench, writing notes on a napkin in a coffee shop and laughing so hard we could cry. Free access to all sorts of hair products and make-up (not glamorous but kind of wonderful). Working for some of beauty’s top brands, delivering an important package to Gisele’s agent, sending crystal star kits to celebrities...
But then I work long hours. I spend hours unboxing and sorting make-up or goo-goneing labels from lipstick tubes. The boy with the napkin never calls. My roommate gets bed bugs, launching a month-long apartment crisis and a $347 dry cleaning bill. I don’t have many friends here. The closest grocery store is a ten minute walk away. I'm tired all the time.
I do not mean to sound as if I am ungrateful, or whining. These things are just facts, some of which make life much more challenging. But without challenge I would imagine that life would get very old, very fast. However, I do feel that the 9-5 (or in my case 8:30-6:15-7ish) sitting-in-a-cubicle routine is starting to wear on me. It’s a variation of the same thing, get up, go to work, come home, unwind, go to sleep. Rinse, repeat. It’s exhausting and there are some days that I feel like I am just living for the weekends.
Despite all this, I do love my job. I work with wonderful people on interesting accounts. Every day is different, so I never know quite what to expect. But there is always pressure to perform, to “shine.” Because so much is always happening, I feel like I am constantly playing catch-up. That’s just the nature of working in this field, but when things don’t get done for whatever reason, I start feeling anxious, which of course puts a halt to everything. It’s difficult to work through a fog of anxiety. I suppose I am still learning to not take things that happen at work, especially ones that are out of my control, so personally. I just feel like I have been having a rough few days where I just can’t seem to get anything right.
Also, there is the lack of friends. I have a small handful of friends that are in New York. My good friend Danielle from BU is here so I spend a lot of time with and her roommates and their friends. But I do feel like I need to expand my social circle and it’s been hard. In college there are so many more ways to make friends, you have classes and activities and other friends etc. My roommates are wonderful, but they have their own group/s of friends, so I only go out with them occasionally. I’ve been thinking about trying to take dance classes, or get involved in some kind of singing group, so that I have some kind of fulfilling activity outside of work. I need an outlet. I need more of a life outside of work.
On a brighter note, I have stayed very well connected to friends from home. For example, Adam and I talk several times a week (on the phone!); Gill and I email back and forth almost daily and Kate and I have weekly phone dates. Friends are sanity. Friends are home.
So, I guess that is where I am at right now. Essentially, everything is going well, and is probably going as well as it could. Just having graduated and being at my first job in a new city, I can’t really ask for more. I guess I am still finding my place in this new life, and I should expect that it will take some time to really figure it out.
I have a vacation of sorts coming up this weekend which I think is very much needed. Going to MA to see Adam in Sweet Charity (so unbelievably excited for this) and hopefully see some other people including Jamie and Allie and maybe some people from Sydney and BU. I will certainly relish two days off from work. Then maybe cry when I see my inbox on Tuesday.
On some level, my life here has been much more glamorous and “Sex and the City” than I expected or thought it could be. Taking limo rides. Living in the biggest apartment I have seen in Manhattan, with a wonderful view of the city from the roof. My homing beacon has gone from the Citgo sign to the Empire State building. Having a first kiss happen after hours on the set of SNL where the hosts perform their opening monologues. Meeting a guy at a bar and bonding over music, and staying out all night sitting on a bench, writing notes on a napkin in a coffee shop and laughing so hard we could cry. Free access to all sorts of hair products and make-up (not glamorous but kind of wonderful). Working for some of beauty’s top brands, delivering an important package to Gisele’s agent, sending crystal star kits to celebrities...
But then I work long hours. I spend hours unboxing and sorting make-up or goo-goneing labels from lipstick tubes. The boy with the napkin never calls. My roommate gets bed bugs, launching a month-long apartment crisis and a $347 dry cleaning bill. I don’t have many friends here. The closest grocery store is a ten minute walk away. I'm tired all the time.
I do not mean to sound as if I am ungrateful, or whining. These things are just facts, some of which make life much more challenging. But without challenge I would imagine that life would get very old, very fast. However, I do feel that the 9-5 (or in my case 8:30-6:15-7ish) sitting-in-a-cubicle routine is starting to wear on me. It’s a variation of the same thing, get up, go to work, come home, unwind, go to sleep. Rinse, repeat. It’s exhausting and there are some days that I feel like I am just living for the weekends.
Despite all this, I do love my job. I work with wonderful people on interesting accounts. Every day is different, so I never know quite what to expect. But there is always pressure to perform, to “shine.” Because so much is always happening, I feel like I am constantly playing catch-up. That’s just the nature of working in this field, but when things don’t get done for whatever reason, I start feeling anxious, which of course puts a halt to everything. It’s difficult to work through a fog of anxiety. I suppose I am still learning to not take things that happen at work, especially ones that are out of my control, so personally. I just feel like I have been having a rough few days where I just can’t seem to get anything right.
Also, there is the lack of friends. I have a small handful of friends that are in New York. My good friend Danielle from BU is here so I spend a lot of time with and her roommates and their friends. But I do feel like I need to expand my social circle and it’s been hard. In college there are so many more ways to make friends, you have classes and activities and other friends etc. My roommates are wonderful, but they have their own group/s of friends, so I only go out with them occasionally. I’ve been thinking about trying to take dance classes, or get involved in some kind of singing group, so that I have some kind of fulfilling activity outside of work. I need an outlet. I need more of a life outside of work.
On a brighter note, I have stayed very well connected to friends from home. For example, Adam and I talk several times a week (on the phone!); Gill and I email back and forth almost daily and Kate and I have weekly phone dates. Friends are sanity. Friends are home.
So, I guess that is where I am at right now. Essentially, everything is going well, and is probably going as well as it could. Just having graduated and being at my first job in a new city, I can’t really ask for more. I guess I am still finding my place in this new life, and I should expect that it will take some time to really figure it out.
I have a vacation of sorts coming up this weekend which I think is very much needed. Going to MA to see Adam in Sweet Charity (so unbelievably excited for this) and hopefully see some other people including Jamie and Allie and maybe some people from Sydney and BU. I will certainly relish two days off from work. Then maybe cry when I see my inbox on Tuesday.