(Untitled)

[lexin]

I'm not sure I really understood what was required, the tutor had asked for a monologue addressed to someone else and this is what I produced. He said it was a bit of a cheat. However,

Comments

[shezan]

I like it very much!

I think he meant a monologue to a character rather than to the reader, or to someone remote enough from the narrative that they're not given any description or location in time. Also, you break up into dialogue, which means you have become the author of a first-person novel(la), and I think that would be different from a character actually speaking to someone else the way he would on stage.

But it works! I wanted to read more! I also like that the pathologist is the anti-Anderson! :)

[lexin]

Thank you!

I think I'm better at writing a story than a monologue. But we'll see what he makes if this week's homework, which is more of a monologue than last week's was even though it wasn't asked for this week, which is to do with playing with timeline.

[heliophile_oxon]

What shezan said, I guess - it reads more like tight 1st-person pov (especially with things like this, which are verging on omniscient narrator: Shaunessy looked at the corpse, meditatively.)than a dramatic monologue - but tbh I really just wanted to say how much I like it! I would absolutely read the story that this is part of. You've started to flesh out the characters already, and it's only been a few words - and they're already interesting, and have some interesting conflicts and relationships just waiting in the wings.
It's really very engaging - and I really do want to read it!

[lexin]

Thanks, that's really helpful.