(no subject)
In what could be a setback of sapphic proportion to gay women everywhere, residents of the Aegean Sea island of Lesbos are asking a Greek court to rule that only they should have the honor to be called “Lesbians.” Andno, I’m not kidding.
Apparently those of us who are women loving women have co-opted the lesbian moniker from the islanders for our own nefarious purposes. According to plaintiff Dimitris Lambrou, “Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos.”
I don’t know how to tell you this, Dimitris, but I’ve had plenty connections with lesbos in my lifetime. Plenty. But I don’t like to brag.
As everyone who’s ever taken a women’s studies course knows, Lesbos is the birthplace of the Greek poet Sappho. Many of her poems contain passionate references to love for other women. Although much to the disappointment of lowercase lesbians everywhere, Dimitris also claims Sappho was not gay. If he’s right, this gives Sappho the distinction of being the first in a long line of “straight women” on record as just being “gay for pay.”
In fact, Lambrou, who must also be a world renowned etymologist, said the word lesbian has only been linked with our sisterhood forthe past few decades. “But we have been Lesbians for thousands of years,” he says proudly. Hmm. I just had a flashback to the lesbian man, Lisa, in season one of The L Word.
He also asks (one must assume rhetorically), “How can 250,000 people of Lesbian descent - including women - be considered homosexual?” Well, Dimitris, that could take awhile to explain, and I don’t have the time right now.
I’m not an attorney, and I don’t really know anything about Greek law or how the court might rule, but I believe that we need to be thinking about a new name for ourselves just in case. I mean what if we wake uptomorrow and we can no longer call ourselves lesbians? What then? I know that as lesbians we are notorious for needing to “process” such a huge change to our chi, but time is of the essence.
How about calling ourselves sapphians? Or maybe vaginains? Any other ideas, sisters? Be sure to get them on The Homosexual Agenda before the next big meet and greet. Oh, and I’ll bring the relish tray.
Apparently those of us who are women loving women have co-opted the lesbian moniker from the islanders for our own nefarious purposes. According to plaintiff Dimitris Lambrou, “Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos.”
I don’t know how to tell you this, Dimitris, but I’ve had plenty connections with lesbos in my lifetime. Plenty. But I don’t like to brag.
As everyone who’s ever taken a women’s studies course knows, Lesbos is the birthplace of the Greek poet Sappho. Many of her poems contain passionate references to love for other women. Although much to the disappointment of lowercase lesbians everywhere, Dimitris also claims Sappho was not gay. If he’s right, this gives Sappho the distinction of being the first in a long line of “straight women” on record as just being “gay for pay.”
In fact, Lambrou, who must also be a world renowned etymologist, said the word lesbian has only been linked with our sisterhood forthe past few decades. “But we have been Lesbians for thousands of years,” he says proudly. Hmm. I just had a flashback to the lesbian man, Lisa, in season one of The L Word.
He also asks (one must assume rhetorically), “How can 250,000 people of Lesbian descent - including women - be considered homosexual?” Well, Dimitris, that could take awhile to explain, and I don’t have the time right now.
I’m not an attorney, and I don’t really know anything about Greek law or how the court might rule, but I believe that we need to be thinking about a new name for ourselves just in case. I mean what if we wake uptomorrow and we can no longer call ourselves lesbians? What then? I know that as lesbians we are notorious for needing to “process” such a huge change to our chi, but time is of the essence.
How about calling ourselves sapphians? Or maybe vaginains? Any other ideas, sisters? Be sure to get them on The Homosexual Agenda before the next big meet and greet. Oh, and I’ll bring the relish tray.