Republican Terminology -- hilarious!
REPUBLICAN TERMINOLOGY:
Black teen pregnancies? A 'crisis' in black America.White teen
pregnancies? A 'blessed event.
If you grow up in Hawaii you're 'exotic.'If you row up in Alaska
eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential 'American story.
'If you name your kid Barack, you're unpatriotic. 'Name your kid
Track, you're 'colorful.'
If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are 'extremist.
'If you believe in creationism, that victims of rape and incest
should be forced to have the baby, and that abstinence is an effective
form of sex education, you are 'strongly principled.'
If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of
people, you are an 'uppity' 'arrogant celebrity'.If you are a popular
Republican female candidate, you are 'energizing the base.'
A black mother of 4 who waits 22 hours after her water breaks to seek
medical attention is an irresponsible parent, endangering the life of
her unborn child. A white mother who waits 22 hours is spunky.
If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the
individual, you're 'reckless. 'A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a
'maverick'.
'If you cheated on your first wife with a rich young heiress, then
left your wife and married the heiress the following month, you're a
Christian. If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years
and are raising 2 beautiful daughters, you're 'risky'.
If you are a candidate who worked hard for a Harvard law degree, you
are 'an elitist out of touch' with the real America. If you own so
many houses you can't recall exactly how many, you are a real
American.
If you're 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you
'First dog.' If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a
Republican, the right-wing press calls you 'beautiful' and
'courageous.'
If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your
organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to
$400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law
Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new
African American voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law
professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator
representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of
the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend
nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of
nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the
Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works, and Veteran's Affairs
committees, you are woefully inexperienced. BUT ...If you were crowned
Miss Wasilla in 1984 and also competed in the Miss Alaska pageant,
then worked as a T.V. sports reporter, then spent 4 years on the city
council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000
people, then spent 20 months as the governor of a state of 650,000
people, then you are well qualified to lead the nation should you be
called upon to do so, especially in regard to international affairs
because your state is the closest state to Russia.
oh my god, so true and frightening!
Black teen pregnancies? A 'crisis' in black America.White teen
pregnancies? A 'blessed event.
If you grow up in Hawaii you're 'exotic.'If you row up in Alaska
eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential 'American story.
'If you name your kid Barack, you're unpatriotic. 'Name your kid
Track, you're 'colorful.'
If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are 'extremist.
'If you believe in creationism, that victims of rape and incest
should be forced to have the baby, and that abstinence is an effective
form of sex education, you are 'strongly principled.'
If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of
people, you are an 'uppity' 'arrogant celebrity'.If you are a popular
Republican female candidate, you are 'energizing the base.'
A black mother of 4 who waits 22 hours after her water breaks to seek
medical attention is an irresponsible parent, endangering the life of
her unborn child. A white mother who waits 22 hours is spunky.
If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the
individual, you're 'reckless. 'A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a
'maverick'.
'If you cheated on your first wife with a rich young heiress, then
left your wife and married the heiress the following month, you're a
Christian. If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years
and are raising 2 beautiful daughters, you're 'risky'.
If you are a candidate who worked hard for a Harvard law degree, you
are 'an elitist out of touch' with the real America. If you own so
many houses you can't recall exactly how many, you are a real
American.
If you're 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you
'First dog.' If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a
Republican, the right-wing press calls you 'beautiful' and
'courageous.'
If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your
organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to
$400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law
Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new
African American voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law
professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator
representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of
the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend
nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of
nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the
Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works, and Veteran's Affairs
committees, you are woefully inexperienced. BUT ...If you were crowned
Miss Wasilla in 1984 and also competed in the Miss Alaska pageant,
then worked as a T.V. sports reporter, then spent 4 years on the city
council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000
people, then spent 20 months as the governor of a state of 650,000
people, then you are well qualified to lead the nation should you be
called upon to do so, especially in regard to international affairs
because your state is the closest state to Russia.
oh my god, so true and frightening!