(no subject)
Collective name: Secret Mine
Chapter Title: Bert, Gerard, Mikey and a fitting talk for me
Author: lexieg (Me!!)
Status: over all unfinished....part 10 of??? (but chapter 8)
Categories: Drama, slash
Over all Pairings: Frank/Jepha
rating: R (language)(overall NC-17)
Description: Frank's in the shit now!
Disclaimer: DODKDS!!
Previous:
|Fooling For You| |Hard, Harder than any before| |The Time Before The After| |The mistakes of a situation| |Play Offs| |Five three Five Stitch| |Between a Rock and a Hard place| |Babes, Corvettes and Blackmail| |knowledge the key to my life|
Chapter 8: Bert, Gerard, Mikey and a fitting talk for me.
Morning came, a little to quickly for my liking, Bert and Gerard stayed asleep until about midday, Mikey rose at one, and myself at nine, in the fucking morning.
I bloody hate early wakes. They piss me, hugely. But I was awake, and there was no sleep for me after I was awake, so I pottered around the house until the pair of sleeping beauties awoke, yeah that is sarcasm.
Time moved slowly, I kept thinking over and over why Mikey would be mumbling my name, who knew? And also as to why I had to talk to Mikey, in accordance to Jeph, I wondered if he would make a guest star appearance again tonight.
Mikey roused, and by three o’ clock he was up and back to himself, Mikey takes at least two hours to wake up. Gee and Bert had disappeared leaving Mikey and I in the living room. One on each settee.
“Mikey how’s things? Better after your attack last night? It wasn’t to bad was it?” I asked breaking a sheet of ice that was almost impenetrable.
“Yeah all was okay, I got my pump quick enough, and that stopped the worst of it.” He told me,
“I got a shock to, to see him arrive at my window.” I said to him, now it was whether to ask him about his mutterings of my name, “Did you sleep well before it? I mean I know you slept well after, because you only got up two hours ago.” I say trying to bend the topic round,
“Yeah. You know what I’m like, I could sleep through a hail storm, and I sleep like a dead log.” He told me,
“I know that, so how did you hear Jeph at the window?”
“My window was open,” he explained, “And I heard a name, I thought it was mine, but obviously not, it was yours,”
“Yeah, Jeph said something about you muttering my name in your sleep, twisted fuck.” I added playfully.
“Yeah I dreamt you were killed,” he said, “Na truthfully you were going somewhere and I called after you, you wanted to leave because of what’s going on, and I convinced you to stay with me, dreams are weird eh? From that I would deny all knowledge that dreams are what your subconscious wants. I don’t think I could put up with you with more than anything but a friend and room mate as such.” His voice told me, but his eyes told me different, brown eyes a window to his soul as such, and you could tell in Mikey’s eyes if he was lying every time.
“So no kinky little fantasies that you wanted me to live up to?” I asked, purely in jest,
“y-no, why would there be?” he asked me, nearly fumbling the true answer,
“Your not going to say anything about Jeph visiting to Gee are you?” I quizzed.
“Why should I, it was a mistake he landed at my window, plus he’s your boyfriend not mine.” Mikey said, I nearly choked on my own breath as he said boyfriend, was he? That sounded odd, “What’s up Frank?” he asked as I choked.
“Nothing I just haven’t heard him called that.” I said as my eyes began to water and I coughed deeply again, more blood arriving in my hands before me. Fucking hell, I can’t still be bleeding, but the blood looked less red and more the stale brown colour of when blood was drying, which was a good thing, “I’m gonna go wash my hands,” I say as I go into the kitchen, run them under the tap and return, flicking a few last droplets of water in the direction of the younger Way, who was still older than myself. He wrinkled his nose and turned his face towards the back door.
“Why aren’t you used to him being called that? He is your boyfriend isn’t he?” Mikey asked me, he’s getting a bit to inquisitive for my liking, but I guessed that came from being at his brother’s side all his life.
“Well, it’s only you who knows, and I don’t hear it. But I’m not sure to be honest with you, we’re together But I’m not sure if that counts as such.” I replied, in as truthful an answer as I could possibly say, I couldn’t risk him telling, or talking to Bert or Branden about it, in case some one else overheard. I’m gonna have to tell gee at some point, before Bert, or Mikey, or Branden tells him. I’d never be let to live that down, and I couldn’t do that to Gee, he’s my best mate.
“I guess I can get that,” Mikey said to me,
“So you’re okay after you’re attack?”
“Perfectly fine Frankie, just normal old Mikey as always.” He said smiling slightly.
“Your not normal, you get wasted on Coke, how can you call that normal” ((hehe so do I)) I said to him.
“True, I’m none to normal I guess, I mean a bookshop worker turn bass guitarist supreme is not quite the norm is it?” He said laughing, which made me laugh to,
“You’re not going to say anything are you? I - w-”
“You what?” Mikey asked,
“Nothing, but you’re not saying anything are you?” I asked him once more,
“No Frank, as always where you’re concerned my lips are sealed.” Was that a dig by Mikey Way? Wow, how times change, black mailer and now digging at me for not opening my mouth for him stupid innuendos.
“Thanks Mike. It means a lot to me,”
“You know you’re gonna have to say sooner or later don’t you?” he asked me as he flicked his head to get part of his funny brown-y blonde hair from his eyes.
“Yeah, I do.” I nodded, “But let me say it, I will when I’m ready and I deem it right.”
“Bert no. You can’t fucking do this to me, no.” I heard the determined voice of one of my best mates, Gee.
“Why the fuck not? You’re a sad ass bastard who won’t live it up anymore!” Bert called back.
“What so, the fact I was an alcoholic means that I can still go ahead and drink and not get addicted to it again eh? I’d love to see you deal with me then.” Gerard replied.
“Fuck you, well what about pot then? You won’t touch it because?” Bert shouted back.
“Yeah, okay a recovering alcoholic gets involved with drugs, but won’t drink, that really works Bert.” Gerard said nodding his head sarcastically.
“Gerard, you know you can’t stomach it any more, you ain’t got the balls.” Bert snapped back.
“I used to, but I don’t want those type of balls any more thanks, I’m happy with my own.” Gerard replied to his lover. “This ain’t why we’re arguing and you know it, you don’t bloody want me anymore eh?”
Bert sneered as he walked into the living room. “Yeah, you’re right it ain’t what we’re arguing about, we’re arguing because you still have feelings for an ex don’t you Gerard?”
“Fuck of Bert you know that died long ago, plus it was you who suggested that not me.” Gerard snapped a reply, Gee was beginning to lose it now.
“Yeah but you know you do still like him, why you say yeah?” Bert asked Gerard.
“Bert,” I say
“What do you want?” He asks as though talking to me is a chore, he wanted to be in my bloody pants but a day ago, or two, I can’t remember.
“Just leave Gerard alone.” I said, I can see Gee’s fuming now.
“Oh hooooo,” Bert muses, “Looks like lover boys sticking up for you Gee? Whoa, you’re not running to his arms? What going on?” Bert says sarcastically.
“Bert you know nothing is happening between Gee and I, that’s over. Why do you think I wouldn’t erm… Mikey you may be best off out of this,” I throw a tenner into his region, “Get a pizza or something, we have to talk, and I don’t want you getting involved”, I tell him, and he gets up and goes for the door.
“oh so the older one and the younger one eh? Mikey stay, join the festivities.” His tone had been light and menacing, before, but the final word of that sentence turned into pure bitter hatred, said through gritted teeth.
“Mikey leave, ignore Bert, he’s had to much crack again, bad dose probably, Mikey please, just go. This is not for you to hear.” Gerard’s silent completely, his anger is being pushed to the thresh hold, and it’s never really exceeded it, but if Bert pushes it, it bloody will.
Mikey’s leaving I hear the door close, and he’s gone without a fuss.
I move, stand infront of Bert. “Si’down Iero.” He says pushing me, and trying to get me back to sitting on the couch. But I stand firm.
“Bert, look there is absolutely nothing going on. Trust me.” I say.
“Trust you ooh, there’s a novelty.” Bert says, Not quite sure what that means but I’ll find out, “Well, I did wonder why Gerard went to protect you from Jeph, While I’m coughing my winded guts up on the floor, I thought he was being friendly, as I was already hurt and in no contest for more pain, but looking back on it, he was trying to be Iero’s little knight ins shining armour,” Bert says, facing me, probably only about three, maybe four inches from me by now. And his head lolls to the side on alternating words, trying to make an impression on me. Gerard’s just in my sight, his knuckles white in tension, his face taught, and teeth gritted to tight he looks like he’ll brake his jaw.
“Bert, leave it out, you know there’s nothing more to it, as I said trust me on this one.” I repeat my words.
“Trust you.” He laughs, “Trust you eh? Would Gerard trust you if he knew? Would he? Think about Frankie baby.” He goes into a baby voice at his final sentence, baby, babe, now he’s riling me.
“To know what Bert? What is there to know about me?” I snap back
“’Bout yours and Jepha’s little escapades? Perhaps? Or the fact that yourself and Jeph are getting cosy again?” Bert said with a wicked smile playing him
“Frank.” Gerard said my name, “Frank is this true?”
“Yeah Gee, Yeah, it’s true, but he’s changed, he really has, he appreci-”
“Frankie you are on dumb mother fucker! You know as soon as the novelty wears off and he gets what he wants he’ll be off like a shot!” Gerard calls at me.
“No Gee he won’t as I say he’s changed.” Bert’s smile is broadening to see the pair of arguing,
“Not quite so happy families now is Gerard.” He said
“Shut the fuck up Bert, you aren’t needed in this.” Gerard replies, now facing me, only me in his sight..
“Gerard, please, you don’t know what he’s been like.”
“No, Frank I do know what he’s been like. I know he’s been an arse hole who kicked you and punched you to the other side of consciousness. You’re a fucking fool. I don’t get how you can go crawling back. I thought you had a back bone.” Gerard says to me, biting at every word, this is tension,
“Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, how coul-”
“BERT!” Both of us call in unison.
“Frank, leave him, get rid of the fucker you can do better than him. You know you can. I know you can. We all know you can do better than Jeph, you said it yourself.”
“Oh and you can’t do better than the crack addict over here?” I say jolting my head in Bert’s direction, and my peripheral vision watches his face drop. Qutie amusing
“Hey -” Bert tries to interrupt.
“Never said I couldn’t. But he’s who I chose, and you respect that.” Gerard told me, still gritting his teeth.
“Yeah so try and respect my decision Gerard.”
“You fucking come crying to some one else next time Jeph belts you, see how they take it. Frank he’s a no good arse, and you don’t need to be there wiping it!” He shouted.
“Gerard, he has changed, he’s not what he was.” I say simply, devoid of all emotion, biting slightly at the back of my lip ring, that Jeph found so interesting last night, praying for it to give me strength.
“Yeah for how long? How long until he’s mastered you, and has you begging for him to stay after the sex eh? You think I didn’t hear you in your sleep on the odd occasion, giving it ‘Jeph, please, don’t go’ or ‘Jepha, that hurts, stop’ or even, ‘Jeph what more do you want of me.’ Mikey and I heard them, most of them were screamed, I even think one or two of those where mumblings, or ‘unconscious ramblings’ as the nurse said. Frank leave it, he’s no good for you, you’ve been laid up for how long? And you’re willing to go back for that again? You a fucking lunatic, and I though it was I who should see a Fucking Psychiatrist! Frank you need it way more than I do man, if you are going back to him, way more.” He shouted at me. “Go Home Bert, We’ll talk later.” He spat the words, so much venom in them; Bert upped and left, without a hesitation. “Frank why? Why do you do this to yourself?” he asked me.
“I’m a fool Gerard, we both know it. I’ve always been a fool.” I say, I’ve nothing else to say.
“But Frank, why do you do insist on punishing us?” Gerard said.
“Us? How am I punishing you?” I say.
“Fuck you, if you don’t bloody get it by now I’ll spell it out for you, Bert’s right, I so still like you, more than I bloody should.” Gerard tells me, and for the second time in 24 hours my jaw hits the floor,
“But - Gee, why, I mean, Who, no no, why did you get with Bert?” I asked
“Cos, I didn’t want you to be hooked up over it, I knew you’d get over it faster than me, you always had a knack for it, I never. And Bert was their, and I have to say I am mildly attracted to him, but, he’s not really my type, he’s too heavy into Crack and alcohol and shit. But frank you. You’re just you, nothing more, you just want to be yourself and you don’t have to prove yourself. Frank.” He moved forward, placing his hand on the side of my head, I closed my eyes and turned my head away.
“Gerard, I can’t say I didn’t, Don’t think about you, but I’m with Jepha, and well, he needs me as much as I need him.”
“Frank, you know you can do better than him, I don’t wanna see you hurt again man, please.” Gerard says to me.
“Gee, I know I can, but it’s like me telling you, you can do better than me, you know you can, but you don’t want to. He’s what I want, Gerard, but you are too, I want you both, but I can’t do that. Just promise me one thing, Gerard.
“What frank? Anything man.” He said to me, I still can’t bear to look him in the eyes.
“Just promise me, you’ll be there for me if I fall? I can’t do it without you.” I tell him.
“Frank, you know I’ll always be here for you, no matter what you say or do to me, I’m a keeper, I’m not leaving you to fend for yourself, and you can’t handle it.” He said punching my arm playfully.
“I’m here for you too Gee, so is that it with Bert? Or will you give it another go?”
“Dunno, we’ll see what he has to say, and what I have to say, and we’ll go from there. I doubt he’ll talk to me though.” I know there’s so much more I should tell him now, but not yet, he’s hurting. Not now, not yet.
“You mean to say you’ll string Bert along?” I ask.
“Why not, plus I do like him, just not as much as you, more fool me, but it’s true.” Gerard replied.
“You know I’ve been thinking, you and Ray would make a good couple.” I tell him
“Fuck off, that’d be like you dating a straight guy. Hang on no, erm, That’d be like me dating Mikey, Toro’s my brother, known him too long.”
“Nice man, you’ve known me nearly as long, and I’m not your brother, that’s fine Gee that’s absolutely fine.” I replied indignantly
“No, Frankie, you are my brother, but I care for you more, and you’re the brother I don’t particularly give a toss if I have a bit of incest with, that’s the difference.” He smirks, “Now, you gonna call Jeph over so I can give him a warning? Or what?” I shake my head as I go to the phone and dial Jeph, to tell him the news. Well as selection of the news at least.
Comment, criticism, all welcome, I love anyone who tells me stuff, please, I value opinions.