(no subject)
Collective name: Secret Mine
Chapter Title: Five Three Five Stitch
Author: lexieg (Me!!)
Status: over all unfinished....
Categories Drama, slash
Over all Pairings: Frank/Jepha
rating: R
Description:Frank's in hospital, cos of what Jepha done, and this is the next part
Disclaimer: DODKDS!!
Previous:
|Fooling For You|
|Hard, Harder than any before|
|The Time Before The After|
|The mistakes of a situation|
|Play Offs|
Chapter 4: Five Three Five Stitch
“Gee, what’s gonna happen?” a voice says
“I don’t know, I bloody hope he’s alright. Bloody bastard.” Another voice is talking to, so I’m not imagining it, who’s a bastard? Who’s hurt?
“mmm.” Came the reply, “I just bloody wish that…” I fade off into a black pool of complete non-being.
~~~
Lights bright, glaring. My eyes clenched against them.
“did he move?” I rolled my head from the glare. “Shit Gee! He moved!” I fall back into my decomposing state.
~~~
My brain began it’s dreary way to it’s redemption of normality, if it existed. I had hunted for what had seemed so long. For this non-existent holy grail. My nervous system perhaps flinching here and there. Giving the odd resemblance of life. I could hear every thing around me,
“Gerard, why ain’t he waking? I feel such an complete Arse hole! This was my bloody Idea and I fucking-”
“Bert Shut the fuck up, it was no ones fault, it happened, he flipped.” I heard the firmiliar voice of my landlord and band-mate Gerard Way, obviously the “Bert character he was taking to was Robert McCracken, or Bert, as every one called him. Again those bloody lights. Hold. I am recognising both light an sound, two processes, right, so now…. Movement, can I move? I try to move my hand’s first, they are what moves on me most, to her than my mouth and not for pervy reasons, I’m a guitarist what do you expect. I’m a guitarist, yes, but who am I? I know I talk a great deal and play guitar, I know I’m in a band, with Gerard, and Bert, I know who he is, but nothing else. So I tried to move my hands, starting with a lonely finger, which moves, into the beckoning motion I tell it to. I haven’t been here to long at all. Right now try all my fingers. Yep they flex to.
“Bert look left hand.” I hear Gee saying. Then no more, so I flex it again, as though to say I’ve heard, forming a tight fist and releasing it once more, and again.
“Frank can you hear us?” Bert asked,
Frank? Frank who who is Frank?
“Frankie Iero. Francis Iero, can you hear us? If you can squeeze my hand,” I feel a hand touch my own, so I have my nerves to. So if he was talking to Francis Iero, and then touched my hand, I’m Frank. I must be. Yeah it’s starting to make a little sense. Frankie Iero, Electric guitarist in Gerard’s band… My… Cold? No. My…Crimson? No no no. My chemical… what… my chemical…. Shit!!
“Frankie please.” What is the name, oh, squeeze yeah, I tighten my hand clenching the soft hand that grasps my own. I immediately hear a thump and an alarm sound. Fuck fire. Fire where’s the fire did I so that? No don’t be dumb, you can’t make fire you’ve just remembered your name. Wisen up love. Love….
“Romance”!! I sigh I made sounds, sounds like Gerard does, so I can talk can I see to? Might as well try, so I find the muscles that attached to my eyelids, letting the tensions slack gently until my hazel eye’s roll round and find the glaring strip neon light glaring at me. My eye’s close up,
“Francis, Francis, you’re in the hospital, can you tell me whether you know what happened?” comes an unfamiliar voice.
“No,” I mutter, in a raspy, breathless way, kind of scary.
“Can you open your eyes? And tell me how many finger’s I’m holding up?” I let my eye’s loosen and see the finger’s infront of me.
One, two… what comes after two? Oh yeah
“three” I mutter.
“Well Mr McCracken and Mr Way.I think he will be fine, but if something odd happens, like the machine starts beeping rapidly alert us. And he will be tired, if he sleeps let him
” The odd voice said, obviously moving away with the clicking of solid heels.
“Thank you. Thank you so bloody much.”
“Language Gerard.” I mutter.
“Frankie,” His voice replies, I lifted my lips into a faint smile as much as I can manage, shit, I never realised how much this took out of a person. I feel his arms take me in and a searing pain fill my entire side. A thing blistering my insides and forcing it’s way out, I cough and splutter, bringing up the faintest traces of blood.
“Frank. Nice thanks” Gerard says as he pulls a tissue from a box and takes of the mucus and blood.
“It bloody hurt, hi Bert,” I still don’t know you where is he, I try to prop myself up, my arm muscles failing beneath me, but I’m caught in Gerard’s arms, safe as always. And he does to me what I can’t do to myself, Now I’m sitting against some pillow, and I loose my eye’s once more, after absently closing them.
“Bert, man you look awful” I say as I look at him and he’s got a bruise running up his neck. He gives a faint smile, I know him now, The Used’s lead singer and Gee’s boyfriend, but I don’t know why he’s here, or how he got that bruise. Gee smirked,
“How are you Frank?”
“How long have I been out Gee?”
“Four weeks near enough. Three weeks and two days if you wanna be picky…” Bert replies. “Lucky you came round at all.”
“What happened to me?”
“Frank? You don’t remember what happened at Jeph’s flat? And what happened to Bert and I?” I shook my head, the motions making me nauseous, “Well Frank, there’s no easy way to tell you this but the best way to do so I guess is by letting you see for yourself.” Gee hands me a mirror, blank side facing me. I turned it around to look at my gaunt face. But that was not what hit me first, stitches, lots. Over my right brow, five, down the side of my nose, three. Beneath my left eye, five. Shit I’m a mess, my hairs grown as has stubble, obviously I can’t shave in this condition so, some one’s done it for me.
Bruising is deep and cuts line my face. Shit it hurts. I lifted a hand to touch the alien face, that was surely not my own, distorted and riddled with new paths. My lower lip still swollen from three weeks past. Memories being to trickle back. A steady flow, of that day. The motions, the ways, and my attempt to play Jeph. As the thoughts flood my brain, different water fills my throat, begging me to loose it, the salty tears wind from my eyes, my finger’s still grazing the cut’s and stitches.
“Frank, it’s fine it’s not going to scar.” I shook my head, no need to speak, I’m to tired by now.
Well that’s some constellation but I look like something from one of our photo-shoots! But worse! It’s not the physical pain that hurts, but as the memories return I remember bit from after I blacked out, I recognise the sole feeling of lose, but am not overwhelmed as my memory reignites the flame for that particular fire. And as it burns it shows me how Jeph’s kicks and punches didn’t stop at my ribs, or even at how I could see my own blood on the carpet, I can see and hear my entire way to hospital and then no more. but after I blacked out, the memories speed up.
Gee and Bert are now sitting on my bed. “I’m sorry,” I choke I know it’s my fault, all of it,
“No Frank it’s not, it was my idea. Frank, also, you have to be careful, you have six fractured ribs, and it’s gonna hurt to laugh or to breath to deeply.” Bert informs me, I nod as the tears find their new routes through the maze of pours that is my face. I feel Gerard’s soft hands wipe my tears from me, some still reach my lips and I realise how thirsty I am. But the faint tears do nothing for my thirst. I know that they can do nothing, neither the tears, nor Gee or Bert. “Frank, broken ribs, are bound it’ll be okay,” Bert assures me, but he knows not why I cry. Frank Iero cries not for the surface, but what lays beneath, a twisted, revenge wrought person, who tried to play one to many times, and then failed my attempt at revenge and found myself bloody and beaten for it.
I sat there, floral curtains drawn to enclose my little cubicle. The two dark haired men sitting on my bed looked at me piteously. I hated it, if there was anything I hated more than a certain person it was pity,
“C’mon, it’ll be fine, Gee, Bert.” I say trying to stop my tears, and failing miserably, I carry on crying as the two men hug me, as though to keep me protected from an invisible fear. Or, perhaps a person an invisible person, one that all three of us undeniably despise.
“What are we gonna do? We can’t just openly admit to hating Jeph. And according to the guys where have I been?” I asked
“In hospital.” Gerard told me and to my confused look Bert added,
“We told them we got jumped.” To which things make themselves clearer.
“Hence our bruising to.” Gee’s comment made me look at him more, he had no visible marks,
“Why what happened to you? I can see Bert’s.” I inquired. Gee lifted the bottom of his shirt to reveal his abdomen, a mottled epidermis of purples, greys and blue, with a hint of green on the out skirts. I cringed at the sight, even a few raised blood vessels there to, giving tiny amounts of red to the far from endearing rainbow.
“it was worse, Doctor put it in bandages, but it’s better now.” Gee said, “Not much to the scale of your injuries, it’s been difficult to pull the fact that we don’t like Jeph to his face, and do like him when the guys are round, but it’s another way of putting in some small digs” Gerard smirked at the last bit,
“Put it this way Frank, the art that it is? We’re getting there” Bert smiled from ear to ear, when I noticed that Gerard’s sentence was the first one in which his name had been mentioned. I nearly flinched when I heard it too, but I suppressed it as I could and should do, why should I fear him? There is little more he could do to me. On those thoughts, I slumped back down into the irritable sheets of the hospital, which rucked up under me. The sheets made me itchy and all I wanted to do was to get up and go. But sleep came, irritable and in small allowances, as though I had had too much and was all of a sudden rationed on me. But through this fitful sleep, I dreamt nothing, nothing at all, even the slightest element of a dream, no nightmares even. But there is slept, Gerard and Bert around me.
The next time I awoke completely, I could hear harsh whispers, so, naturally curiosity got the better of me, and I sat up. Only to see, Gerard, Bert and Jeph. What is he doing here.
“Jeph how many times have we told you leave him alone, he wants no more to do with you.” Came a few venomous mutterings, from Gerard, pointed and as bitter as the day Satan was formed.
“Well Gerard, I think he can decide that for himself,” Jeph replied calmly.
“Listen Jepha, just leave and there will be no trouble, none, just go now.” The last word had so much passion in it, I couldn’t believe it was in my own defence. They were all to caught up in this hushed argument, that none noticed from the foot of my bed I was awake,
“Jeph, leave.” I said, All eyes turning to my mutated form, Jeph’s eyes full of sorrow and remorse, but I’m not falling for that again, no way, “Jepha Howard leave now, I don’t want you here as do neither Bert or Gerard. Go please.” I tell him, Gee and Bert silent, Jeph’s confused it seems doesn’t know whether to come or go. And very in appropriate language there Frank, well at least I’m getting back to normal. But instead of leaving, Jeph comes forward, past the two, and comes and sits next to my bedside,
“Frank, you know I didn’t mean this, you know I wouldn’t hurt yo-”
“Like shit you wouldn’t Jeph and Bert and Gerard know that too, they know it was you who gave me that fuck off bruise on my face and they know you done this, Gee also knows that it was your nails that raked my back leaving me with the lines that still remain four, no now five month’s later. Just Leave Jeph, I will see you when I am prepared to talk.” Shit shit shit, that was a bad thing to say, but if it makes him leave it’s good. Jeph looks at me. He’s completely befuddled by the situation and he knows not what to do, I lean forward once more, looking straight at him, “Jeph, leave.” He rises as the last syllable is spoken, bends to my level and kisses me on the bruised and stitched cheek, just a peck. But enough. It sent shivering sparks through my skin, I prayed that was pain and not hope. Hope can be rawer than pain in many instances but this one was hard to tell. But as I had directed Jeph left, so did the feeling of normality in my stomach, leaving it empty. I didn’t know what to do, so I just sat there, as silent as the dark ward around me.
“We’re going to go and get something to eat, you mind or want some?” Gerard asked, unusually timid. I shook my head,
“No thanks,” I replied, quietly not even looking at them. Bert and Gee turned to leave, and walked from my floral curtains. Gone, and leaving the vines and petals to dance in the breeze that escaped the grasp window. I sat their as one tear rolled from my eye, staining the white sheets with a damp mark of sorrow beneath my face.
A shadow moved into the faint hall way light a singular person, well one of the nurses is patrolling late, I told myself, distracted by the light and easy motion. But it came into my ward, and down, past three closed of beds and down to my own. The curtain swung open, and standing before me was Jeph once more.
“I thought I told you to leave.” I said, why the fuck is he back can’t he just leave me alone?
“I can’t leave you Frank, not after that stunt, no way.” Fuck. He’s gonna kill me, my gaze averted to his hand that was concealed behind his back,
“What are you… going to… kill me?” I say pausing for breath. Jeph looked at me an sinful glint consuming his eyes. Shit, he’s really going to isn’t he? Fuck, I don’t want this. My eyes started looking round furiously for the nurses button, not that they would do much. But anything. His hand crept from behind his back, stretching over me, and as I swear, this isn’t to my time to go, that I’m to young to die, I mean there is sooo much I wanted to with my life, and what about mum? And Dad, I know they threw me out but I don’t wanna die and not be talking to them,
“any last words Frank?” I can’t bear to look, I kow I always sai ‘I’m not afraid to die when my times up my times up’ but it’s not like that when you’re in that situation nothing like it, when it’s a natural death yeah, sure I’ll accept that but this too early man! I wanna get some where be something and some one, not just Francs Iero, died in a hospital bed, was part of the band My Chemical Romance, and was an avid fan of The Bouncing Souls. I don’t want to know what my elegy says yet, no not yet, I don’t.
“Frank anything to say?”
“Is there anything that is going to make you not do it?” I ask, cringing.
“Not that I know of, but you can try.” Fine then if he says that
“Not yet please jeph, I know I was wrong I don’t wanna die. No. Please just go, I’ll do anything just leave me my own and my friends lives please, Jeph, please”
His hand that lingered over my chest was beginning to look heavy, a cold seat filled me, a complete freezing of nerves consumed me, all was lost now, no way could I see another day. He pushed his hand further. Further over. Grabbed a grape from the bowl on my bedside,
“Die? Who says anything about dying?” Jeph said looking at me, as he popped the grape into his mouth.
“What? You’re not going to kill me?” I stuttered, you mean to tell me, I was completely afraid for my life and he’s not going to kill me? Now I feel angry, why isn’t he trying to kill me? Whoa hang on what the fuck am I saying, shit this is the best thing ever, and a feeling of elation swallows my insides.
“No, you think I would do that in a hospital ward? That’s like saying, ‘Hi look at me I’m going to rape a girl in the children’s ward!’ I ain’t that stupid, plus I can’t. Couldn’t do that, not quite got the guts for that, a murder on my conscience would be the death of me, if you excuse the poor pun.” He tells me, now I’m confused,
“But if you’re not going to kill me, then, why are you here?” He looks at me smirking,
“I want you Frank.” Again, the confusion.
“What?”
“I want you Frank, hold on, maybe this will explain it better.” Shit he’s not gonna fuck me on the ward is he? That’s wrong. He leans over me, taking his lips onto his own, but unlike most of our previous kisses, this is not filled with the ravenous hunger, for each other, for sex like all the other times. It’s slow, tender, and romantic, and I can’t believe I’m letting him do this. After around three minutes he pulls away,
“I really don’t get you Jeph,” I say astounded,
“You’re not meant to.” He says winking, and giving me a hug before saying, “I’m gonna go, your cronies will be back soon, they’ve only gone to get food,” I look, and he taps the side of his nose before leaving the curtains, to dance in their breeze. But this time he leaves, my stomach is not normal again, but it is not the empty feeling it had before, but. Completely different, fullness, warmth and love, like the feeling that you may get after sex, unlike the ones I have had in the last few month’s, where your partner doesn’t sip up and leave, hit you, or indeed you get kicked the shit out of after, but the ones where your partner and you sit in your nakedness, and cuddle, or fall asleep together, the sweet times. But why am I getting it? Who cares, I can hear Gee and Bert on their way back, and obviously Jepha escaped unnoticed. They come in and Gerard’s got some curry thing, and Bert’s got the hump for some reason, but he carries in his sandwich anyway and sits down beside Gerard.
“What’s eating you Bert?” I asked
“won’t let me have bloody beer in the hospital.” He told me dejectedly. Which made Gerard smirk widely as he said,
“Nurse took it off him at the door. Said he can have again on the way out” Gerard tried not to laugh so hard but a little snigger escaped him, “Want some Frank?” he offered me some curry, which was stinking to high heavens,
“Na thank’s gee I’m full.” I reply as the two eat on. And I’m smirking to myself.
Not quite my usual, but I hope you liked it all the same, comment and I will love you forever and ever and ever… etc etc… so what do we think on it?