*peeks*
hey Journal.. I haven't abandoned ye..
Life has hit me.. with another major puzzle... yesterday well two days ago now (monday) I went home... over the mountains to yakima.. to sign some paperwork concerning my moms estate.. I saw my father for the first time in a year or so.. *sighs* his health is fading he can barely walk and he weighs like 110.. I know he doesent have much longer on this earth but he seems happy where he is.. alone.. in his studio.. smoking his cigerettes and watching nick at night all day long or MASH.. this is a man who for 21 years raised me was a great boy scout leader a loving husband and an awesome father.. and now hes a withering lonely old man waiting to die.. I wish I could help him but he won't budge from wanting to stay there.. I guess it's best.. also I went to the two street town I grew up in.. found out that it too is seeing bad days all the friends I had growing up have either turned to drugs are in prison or.. are having some sort of bad shit.. my best friend.. needs me.. I see that tommorow or thursday I am going back.. to talk to him spend time with him see if there is anything I can possibly do to rescue him from that nowhere town.... bring him here.. there are only three people left alive I would do absolutely anything for.. I go to great lengths for anyone I care about but I would only jump off a bridge for three.. myself.. morphy and my best friend Ramone.. I feel like this is the most important thing I can do right now.. this fall I'm going to school sure.. I need to find another job yeah.. but.. it feels this is the meaning I've been seeking.. and it is time to see if the path I see in my dreams the destiny I feel in my bones is real or not... because he was supposed to be there...
Life has hit me.. with another major puzzle... yesterday well two days ago now (monday) I went home... over the mountains to yakima.. to sign some paperwork concerning my moms estate.. I saw my father for the first time in a year or so.. *sighs* his health is fading he can barely walk and he weighs like 110.. I know he doesent have much longer on this earth but he seems happy where he is.. alone.. in his studio.. smoking his cigerettes and watching nick at night all day long or MASH.. this is a man who for 21 years raised me was a great boy scout leader a loving husband and an awesome father.. and now hes a withering lonely old man waiting to die.. I wish I could help him but he won't budge from wanting to stay there.. I guess it's best.. also I went to the two street town I grew up in.. found out that it too is seeing bad days all the friends I had growing up have either turned to drugs are in prison or.. are having some sort of bad shit.. my best friend.. needs me.. I see that tommorow or thursday I am going back.. to talk to him spend time with him see if there is anything I can possibly do to rescue him from that nowhere town.... bring him here.. there are only three people left alive I would do absolutely anything for.. I go to great lengths for anyone I care about but I would only jump off a bridge for three.. myself.. morphy and my best friend Ramone.. I feel like this is the most important thing I can do right now.. this fall I'm going to school sure.. I need to find another job yeah.. but.. it feels this is the meaning I've been seeking.. and it is time to see if the path I see in my dreams the destiny I feel in my bones is real or not... because he was supposed to be there...