my analysis ** EDITED
Well last night, Joe made it very clear to me on the phone that we cant be friends right now. He said that he has changed so much in the past six months. He thought he wanted a relationship, things were great, and then he changed his mind and doesnt want one. He says he has too much on his plate right now. And he said on the phone that we cant be friends right now because I have feelings for him, and if we were to be friends, he is going to do things that will piss me off, like hook up with his ex girlfriend or other girls. He really made our ending bad! I could look at this in two ways. That his decisions are really mean and bad and yeah they are bad. Everything that has happend is something that I dont want. I wanted a relationship so I can say that yeah this sucks. But the other way I could look at it is, if he didnt want a relationship but wanted to hook up with me, like a friends with benifits deal then it would string me along because I would still have feelings for him, and maybe even alittle hope that more could happen... and then maybe I would get hurt in the end, even worse than now if he found someone else, or I dont know. I was in the middle of studying for a test when I called him just to talk, because I was bored and didnt want to study. And thats when he just said all he had to say, and yeah that sucked. I told him to call me when he wants to be friends, trying now to show that I was crying, and I hung up the phone. I had a good cry last night... took a shower and just went to bed. I forgot about studying. Now today I woke up early to continue with my homework before work, and now Im just trying to accept his decisions and move forward. I only get attached to guys I can see myself being with for a long time, or just someone I click with really well. This time it was Joe. I know its not me, I didnt push him away, I never came across as a clingy dependent girl because Im not like that. Its him, he doesnt know what he wants, and he changes his mind all the time. I cant handle someone like that. Its too hard for me to keep a gaurd up and not have feelings right away when I like someone alot. I tried doing that with Joe in the beginning but I just cant. Oh well, for now Im just trying to forget him and move on.
I guess I will be alone until I can find a guy who knows what he wants, and will stay beside me.
(Edited)
I talked to Andrew last night and I asked him why he told me his feelings for me when he found out I had a boyfriend, or only when he was down here....but I know he always told me his feelings for me, I just didnt think about it. And I asked because I wanted to make sure. He has said some really funny things to cheer me up I think which is cool. He said that my ex is half the man he is... haha i thought that was great. I told that to jess too and she loved it. Last night he was asking me what he looked like so he could picture himself kicking his ass. lol that was a good one too.
Hey, boyfriends will come and go, but I know I always have my friends, and family. I always have my life I can fall back on when I get heart broken. My friends will still be there to help me out, cheer me up, and same with my family. I will still have my art, my life, and thats all that matters. :)
I guess I will be alone until I can find a guy who knows what he wants, and will stay beside me.
(Edited)
I talked to Andrew last night and I asked him why he told me his feelings for me when he found out I had a boyfriend, or only when he was down here....but I know he always told me his feelings for me, I just didnt think about it. And I asked because I wanted to make sure. He has said some really funny things to cheer me up I think which is cool. He said that my ex is half the man he is... haha i thought that was great. I told that to jess too and she loved it. Last night he was asking me what he looked like so he could picture himself kicking his ass. lol that was a good one too.
Hey, boyfriends will come and go, but I know I always have my friends, and family. I always have my life I can fall back on when I get heart broken. My friends will still be there to help me out, cheer me up, and same with my family. I will still have my art, my life, and thats all that matters. :)