[Dreams of the Waking Man: Fifth Nightmare] Project Ark
hah. so. yeah. i forgot to post earlier. ^^; it's soooo past my bedtime. see how much i love you guys?
a little bit of Hope. because, y'know. she had to find out sometime.
warnings: Earth-339. a little slash. more Schmooples. a little world-go-boom talk. language: pg-13 (for f*** and s***).
pairing: Nate/Wade.
timeline: June-ish 2019.
disclaimer: i doesn't owns the movies, comics, or characters. or the assorted objects of pop culture reference.
notes: 1) NBD = no big deal. 2) Yelena tied Wade's arms in a knot around his neck back in The Itsy-Bitsy Only Competent Person Present. 3) "burning bush that talks" is a reference to Noah -- when God told him about the flood, He took the form of a bush that "burned but was not consumed."
Project Ark
“Define ‘hitch,’” Wade says.
Nate grimaces. “Luke and Danny won’t commit without a solid plan for the logistics.”
“Oh, yeah, because rescuing people and then running out of food would be so much worse than just letting them get nuked.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t solve the problem, Wade,” Nate replies tartly.
Wade throws his hands up. “Y’know, I don’t have to save the fuckin’ world. I can send you ‘n Hope off to Utopia and just camp out and wait to be blown to bits, and that would solve all our problems pretty tidily.”
“I’m sorry,” sighs Nate. “I know we’re asking you for all the answers, and it’s not fair. But we’re flying blind, and you’re the only one who can use the Node. If it makes you feel better, I appreciate the fact that you’re willing to do something about the civilians instead of just running away. I know that Hope will, too…just as soon as you get around to telling her.”
“Oh, hint-hint, nudge-nudge.”
“Wade, I know you-you’re a procrastinator when it comes to bad news.”
“Uh, Daddy?” Hope calls from the living room.
He gives Nate the time-out signal and wanders toward the TV. “Yes, precious?”
She’s pointing at the screen.
~-mysterious young woman managed to simulcast on every station across the United States,~ a newscaster says. At the bottom of the screen, the ticker says something about breaking news and a country held hostage. ~There seems to be some debate from authorities as to the legitimacy of the threat, but the latest word from the Secretary of State is that a nationwide manhunt may be on for the mercenary known as Deadpool. Here, once again, is a recording of the mysterious televised ransom note.~
The newscaster’s face is replaced by the freckle-faced blonde and her evil white cat. ~Greetingth, thitithenth of the United Thtateth of America. Schmoopleth demandth a particular object-a three-inch tranthparent thphere made of an unidentifiable photo-reactive thubthtanthe. It ith currently in the pothession of a merthenary by the name of Deadpool. We underthtand that it will be difficult to apprehend him, tho you have three monthth to deliver him to the Forbidden Thity in China. If you fail to produthe him within the time provided, the conthequentheth will be dire-ethpecially for the entire population of the eatht coatht of your puny country. Schmoopleth mutht be appeathed. That ith all.~
Hope presses the mute button as the newscaster goes back to frantic speculation. “Daddy, is there something you want to tell me?” She looks at him with an expectant smile.
“Yeah, we’re moving to Utopia after you graduate, enn-bee-dee, just make sure you’ve said your goodbyes and packed all your stuff.”
Scoffing, she makes Nate’s Unimpressed Face. “You can’t be serious. Some psycho girl and her cat are holding the whole coast hostage to get Eight-ball, and we’re just going to run away?”
He winces. “Okay, so you’re moving to Utopia, us X-Guys are supervising the evacuation of the eastern seaboard…” He shrugs. “…no reason to concern yourself, princess. Stark and Richards have it covered. They even talked Fury over to their side.”
“You are crazier than Nathan if you think I’m gonna leave you behind, Daddy.”
“I heard that!” Nate calls from the hallway.
“Nobody cares,” she yells at him. “You’re crazy and we all know it. Neena says so, and Sandi and Inez say so, and Kate says so, and Rogue says so-”
“So, most of the women we know?” Wade interrupts.
“Yeah, pretty much. Don’t try to change the subject. I’m not going anywhere without you, Daddy.”
He stares at her.
She stares back, now wearing a full-powered ‘I’m a Summers, I am the essence of stubborn’ frown.
He puffs up. “You’re not setting foot on those helicarriers, and that’s final, young lady.”
Five minutes later, Nate’s helping Wade untangle his arms. Yelena must’ve taught Hope how to tie limbs in knots at some point.
“That went well,” he grunts, letting Nate tug on his hand to fix a compound fracture. “Ish. Well-ish. All things considered. Her being a rebellious teenager ‘n me being a complete pushover.”
“Mm,” Nate says in a distinctly skeptical tone.
“Shit. Now we’ve definitely gotta move up the schedule for letting people know about the carriers.”
“The carriers that have enough supplies to sustain maybe forty thousand people for maybe a month?”
Wade groans. “Yeah, those carriers. Shit. You’re from the future-you guys have things like Trekkish replicators or whatever for stuff like food?”
“Matter synthesizers,” Nate corrects. “Yes, but the molecules didn’t just materialize; there had to be a supply of the component elements.”
“Still, that’s something, and something’s better ‘n nothing. I’ll check with Eight-ball, see if he’s got any ideas, or maybe a blueprint we can give to Stretch. Wait-wait, photonic tech can power nuclear conversion, turning stuff into other stuff, so there’s gotta be a more leet version of your matter synthesizers, and with the carriers converted to photonic power, we’ll be all set. You’re a genius, Priscilla.”
“I try?” Nate says with a bemused grin.
“Good. Now see if you can draft me a speech that says ‘sorry your coastal cities are gonna be vaporized,’ with a little ‘but you can totally come with us,’ and maybe some ‘because the US government has only gotten more inept since Normie Osborn’s presidency.’ Try to leave out the part about the burning bush that talks.”
.End.
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