(no subject)
you,
first of all, have you ever read the book 'house of leaves'?
last friday i went to a meeting to teach us what to say when we started teaching again. then after that they held a memorial service. it was held in front of the library here, where there is this big open space. it is the best thing we have to a quad type place. i would say there were about 200 people there. and it was 5 minutes of silence for the 5 people killed. the weather then was much like it is now. right now it is snowing outside. we are supposed to get 6 inches. although on that friday it was colder than it is tonight.
during the silence the bells from a local church played. there was no melody only a constant, single note played very slowly. it only changed once, halfway through for 5 quick beats and then returned to the slow tempo. never in my life have i been around that many people standing outside in the snow completely silent. when the man 10 feet from me flicked his lighter it was like a balloon being popped in a small room.
since the shooting i haven't had a cigarette. so that's what 11, 12 days now? my lungs feel like it's 1999 again. anyway, maybe the sound of the lighter wasn't that loud, maybe i just really wanted to smoke, but the point is, i'd have to say those five minutes were probably some of the most beautiful in my life, definitely the most powerful. it was a perfect moment.
there was a bigger longer service held on sunday. it was at the convocation center, which is the same place that i tutored half of the football team this summer in math 101. it has small offices and a pretty big arena that holds probably 10,000 people. i didn't go to the service though. i stayed home and drank tea, read that book and tried to get some sleep. i just didn't feel the need to go. turns out that so many people showed up, that they ended up turning people away.
today and tomorrow they have counselors in every class. they speak about what happened and where to get help if you need help etc. by the end of the day i couldn't really handle them much anymore. i'm sure it will get pretty old tomorrow. i didn't know anyone involved. as far as i know all of my students are okay. but it has effected everyone in some way. you can feel it when you walk in the halls. however, it does seem like just getting back to class and working seems like the best idea. there really isn't much else to do anyway. it was nice to hear what a couple of my professors had to say. Professor Ye said that we would all be fine because we are graduate students. but that we needed to be "good big brother or big sister" to the undergrads that we teach. to show them that as adults we are strong. he is probably my favorite professor here.
well i hope things are going well with you. i'd write more but i need to get some sleep. just wanted to write you a little something to say hello and that i'm doing alright.
your pal,
-L
first of all, have you ever read the book 'house of leaves'?
last friday i went to a meeting to teach us what to say when we started teaching again. then after that they held a memorial service. it was held in front of the library here, where there is this big open space. it is the best thing we have to a quad type place. i would say there were about 200 people there. and it was 5 minutes of silence for the 5 people killed. the weather then was much like it is now. right now it is snowing outside. we are supposed to get 6 inches. although on that friday it was colder than it is tonight.
during the silence the bells from a local church played. there was no melody only a constant, single note played very slowly. it only changed once, halfway through for 5 quick beats and then returned to the slow tempo. never in my life have i been around that many people standing outside in the snow completely silent. when the man 10 feet from me flicked his lighter it was like a balloon being popped in a small room.
since the shooting i haven't had a cigarette. so that's what 11, 12 days now? my lungs feel like it's 1999 again. anyway, maybe the sound of the lighter wasn't that loud, maybe i just really wanted to smoke, but the point is, i'd have to say those five minutes were probably some of the most beautiful in my life, definitely the most powerful. it was a perfect moment.
there was a bigger longer service held on sunday. it was at the convocation center, which is the same place that i tutored half of the football team this summer in math 101. it has small offices and a pretty big arena that holds probably 10,000 people. i didn't go to the service though. i stayed home and drank tea, read that book and tried to get some sleep. i just didn't feel the need to go. turns out that so many people showed up, that they ended up turning people away.
today and tomorrow they have counselors in every class. they speak about what happened and where to get help if you need help etc. by the end of the day i couldn't really handle them much anymore. i'm sure it will get pretty old tomorrow. i didn't know anyone involved. as far as i know all of my students are okay. but it has effected everyone in some way. you can feel it when you walk in the halls. however, it does seem like just getting back to class and working seems like the best idea. there really isn't much else to do anyway. it was nice to hear what a couple of my professors had to say. Professor Ye said that we would all be fine because we are graduate students. but that we needed to be "good big brother or big sister" to the undergrads that we teach. to show them that as adults we are strong. he is probably my favorite professor here.
well i hope things are going well with you. i'd write more but i need to get some sleep. just wanted to write you a little something to say hello and that i'm doing alright.
your pal,
-L