i've had this empty feeling...
like sinking deep into absolutely nothing...and everyone can see it...only when i don't feel it...I don't belong anymore...i'm not needed around here anymore...i've fixed what i could...and what i couldn't was ment to burn i suppose...i dunno...maybe i'm bitter, maybe i'm waiting for death to take me and i'd wish he'd hurry...i would say this is
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I had a dream I helped kill you last night. Well I didn't really intend to kill you. I was chased down by you through a forest, held captive and I think I stabbed you in the neck with a pocket knife, which had no effect. Then Jen grabbed a steak knife and that did the trick. Then Jen and I were apparently running fugitives, and parted ways, and then I was in private school again and something about drawing a friend with bloody ice skates saying "you're next" and a citrine bracelet.. o_0
Dreams are so damn weird.
Anyway, Christ, stop being so emo. Stop focusing on other people and put yourself in the limelight of your attentions for once. Nothing else matters but you're own happiness, and stop pretending that it isn't true. Others are just a toothpick to be used while convenient, to pick your teeth clean when you can't get that piece of steak out between your buckteeth. If you keep living for other people, you're just going to know yourself even less. You'll become this empty husk of a person, a big blue sheet people throw over their cars to keep the rain out, and then discarded somewhere in their musty garage until you're needed again. Stop letting yourself be used like you're some easily spent up miracle drug. FOCUS ON YOURSELF FOR ONCE, WITHOUT THE EMO SPEECH!
Don't be like this:
Just smile, you fuck.
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