Homily for my Sex and Marriage Class
Marriage is held dear to God's heart. One can see this by the many times
marriage is used to show God's love in scripture. One can see the total
dedication in the prophet Hosea, where the prophet must be faithful to his
faithless wife. One can see in the Song of Songs imagery of God as the
spouse of Israel. And Christ taking on His Spouse the Church in Revelation.
I can go on with similar examples.
So, why does God show us his love through these images? It's because
there's something special about marriage that doesn't exist in other
relationships. Within marriage there is an intimate union that doesn't exist
in mere friendship. People makes friends and lose friends all the time
without scandal and sometimes even without emotion. However, someone who
loses his or her spouse either through divorce or death cannot help to feel
that they're losing part of themselves.
The source of this oneness and possible loss is the self-gift which
marriage is based on. From the time of their union, a marriage intends to
link a man and a woman together till death. From that moment on the joy of
the husband should be that the wife is happy and the joy of the wife should
be that the husband is happy. However, there is more to this truth. As St.
Paul describes in his first letter to the Corinthians, a man must give his
life for his wife as Christ gives his life for the Church. Again, scripture
reminds us that there is no love without sacrifice and Christ is the highest
example of love. Therefore, conjugal love is only true love if it is
self-sacrificing. And I come to warn you today that this love is being
threatened in almost every marriage.
The danger which I come to warn you about is none other than the use of
contraception. For many years many Church faithful have been fooled to
believe contraceptives are not against Church teaching. I come to tell you
today that it is not only against Church teaching, but against the nature of
marriage itself.
One can look at marriage and easily see that it is the union where man and
woman come together. The purpose of this joining together is that the two
will produce a child. If one tries to have this mutual love but excludes the
possibility of procreation, then that love is reduced. It's like saying, "I
love you, except your fertility." Remember that a gift of self reflects
Christ's love which is total. You cannot love just part of a person.
Actions, while physical, always have a spiritual dimension. A pat on the
back means one thing and a smile means another. While if someone hits you,
you can be sure they mean something else. So, what message is being
communicated by a contraceptive act? It's that one wants the pleasure of an
act without accepting the natural result of it.
Some will take this to mean that the real point of marriage is to have as
many children as possible. This could be no further from the truth. We're
not animals, after all, but rational beings. There is a way to regulate
birth that is perfectly within the church's teaching. This way is called
Natural Family Planning. And more information can be found out about it in
the back of Church. But to summarize: It uses signs in the woman's body to
determine with great accuracy when there are times she is fertile and not.
And with communication and self-control, a family can moderate their
pregnancies.
Some will say that NFP is nothing short of Catholic contraceptive. But,
this couldn't be farther from the truth. Imagine that you're planning a
wedding and you want to invite a friend to it. You know that you're friend
won't be in town that weekend, but you invite him anyway. That is natural
family planning. Now imagine that you know your friend won't be home that
weekend, but you send him a note that says that he should not come under any
circumstance. That is contraceptive family planning. One leaves it open for
God to act, while the other demands that he does not act.
It is very easy to be tempted to control life. We want there to be as few
surprises and possible calamities as possible. But, is a child really a
danger? No, a child is a gift that makes a man a father and a woman mother.
And while parents will talk about the burden of parenthood, they will also
say how much joy their children brings them. Raising and loving that child
is their vocation.
I would like to conclude now with the reason why you should take this all
very seriously and pray over it. As Jesus tells us, you can see the quality
of the tree by the fruit it produces. What has been the fruit of
contraceptives in our modern times? Since contraceptives have been widely
used, we have seen an alarming rise in divorce, abortions and children born
out of wedlock. Marriage is being broken in all ways. Marriage is
increasingly being looked upon as a place where one can achieve their own
pleasure and when it's no longer pleasurable it can easily be dissolved.
What kind of sign is this to the world? What if God's love reflected these
types of marriages? A marriage is a realm for raising children and it is
where they first learn their faith and the love of God. So, what are we
teaching the next generation about God’s love through these marriages? I ask
you all to consider carefully these fruits and beg you to be signs of truth
and love in the world. The world needs it.
marriage is used to show God's love in scripture. One can see the total
dedication in the prophet Hosea, where the prophet must be faithful to his
faithless wife. One can see in the Song of Songs imagery of God as the
spouse of Israel. And Christ taking on His Spouse the Church in Revelation.
I can go on with similar examples.
So, why does God show us his love through these images? It's because
there's something special about marriage that doesn't exist in other
relationships. Within marriage there is an intimate union that doesn't exist
in mere friendship. People makes friends and lose friends all the time
without scandal and sometimes even without emotion. However, someone who
loses his or her spouse either through divorce or death cannot help to feel
that they're losing part of themselves.
The source of this oneness and possible loss is the self-gift which
marriage is based on. From the time of their union, a marriage intends to
link a man and a woman together till death. From that moment on the joy of
the husband should be that the wife is happy and the joy of the wife should
be that the husband is happy. However, there is more to this truth. As St.
Paul describes in his first letter to the Corinthians, a man must give his
life for his wife as Christ gives his life for the Church. Again, scripture
reminds us that there is no love without sacrifice and Christ is the highest
example of love. Therefore, conjugal love is only true love if it is
self-sacrificing. And I come to warn you today that this love is being
threatened in almost every marriage.
The danger which I come to warn you about is none other than the use of
contraception. For many years many Church faithful have been fooled to
believe contraceptives are not against Church teaching. I come to tell you
today that it is not only against Church teaching, but against the nature of
marriage itself.
One can look at marriage and easily see that it is the union where man and
woman come together. The purpose of this joining together is that the two
will produce a child. If one tries to have this mutual love but excludes the
possibility of procreation, then that love is reduced. It's like saying, "I
love you, except your fertility." Remember that a gift of self reflects
Christ's love which is total. You cannot love just part of a person.
Actions, while physical, always have a spiritual dimension. A pat on the
back means one thing and a smile means another. While if someone hits you,
you can be sure they mean something else. So, what message is being
communicated by a contraceptive act? It's that one wants the pleasure of an
act without accepting the natural result of it.
Some will take this to mean that the real point of marriage is to have as
many children as possible. This could be no further from the truth. We're
not animals, after all, but rational beings. There is a way to regulate
birth that is perfectly within the church's teaching. This way is called
Natural Family Planning. And more information can be found out about it in
the back of Church. But to summarize: It uses signs in the woman's body to
determine with great accuracy when there are times she is fertile and not.
And with communication and self-control, a family can moderate their
pregnancies.
Some will say that NFP is nothing short of Catholic contraceptive. But,
this couldn't be farther from the truth. Imagine that you're planning a
wedding and you want to invite a friend to it. You know that you're friend
won't be in town that weekend, but you invite him anyway. That is natural
family planning. Now imagine that you know your friend won't be home that
weekend, but you send him a note that says that he should not come under any
circumstance. That is contraceptive family planning. One leaves it open for
God to act, while the other demands that he does not act.
It is very easy to be tempted to control life. We want there to be as few
surprises and possible calamities as possible. But, is a child really a
danger? No, a child is a gift that makes a man a father and a woman mother.
And while parents will talk about the burden of parenthood, they will also
say how much joy their children brings them. Raising and loving that child
is their vocation.
I would like to conclude now with the reason why you should take this all
very seriously and pray over it. As Jesus tells us, you can see the quality
of the tree by the fruit it produces. What has been the fruit of
contraceptives in our modern times? Since contraceptives have been widely
used, we have seen an alarming rise in divorce, abortions and children born
out of wedlock. Marriage is being broken in all ways. Marriage is
increasingly being looked upon as a place where one can achieve their own
pleasure and when it's no longer pleasurable it can easily be dissolved.
What kind of sign is this to the world? What if God's love reflected these
types of marriages? A marriage is a realm for raising children and it is
where they first learn their faith and the love of God. So, what are we
teaching the next generation about God’s love through these marriages? I ask
you all to consider carefully these fruits and beg you to be signs of truth
and love in the world. The world needs it.