Why?
I'm off to look at apartments today.
The prospect doesn't thrill me.
I really don't want to move. I'm used to being here, I've been here for 2 and a half years almost... and I like it.
The thought of having a roommate again is scary... and what if I or she loses our job?
Will I have privacy?
Will I be able to stand it?
It's nothing to do with the person I'd be moving in with... and everything to do with the fact that I'm the kind of person who can't stand constantly having other people around... especially people who talk all of the time (not that this person does... just sayin')
Sometimes I just need a break.
I was talking to someone recently and they revealed something along the lines of thinking that often they think they should just be dead.
It shocked me. I spend a lot of time thinking this lately... not that I want to kill myself, mind you... just that I'm not really sure, at all, why I'm still here.
I don't contribute to anything, no one is in love with me or needs me around, I'm not special or different or one of a kind to anyone...
I understand what it means now to lead a life of quiet desperation... because that's really the only way to describe it... as being gripped by despair.
On that somber and rather uninteresting note... (because honestly, randomly blurting out what is bothering me to a sea full of people I don't know really is, in some ways, comforting... like screaming from clifftops)
I think it's time I took a shower and tried to straighten my hair... it'll be disastrous :P
The prospect doesn't thrill me.
I really don't want to move. I'm used to being here, I've been here for 2 and a half years almost... and I like it.
The thought of having a roommate again is scary... and what if I or she loses our job?
Will I have privacy?
Will I be able to stand it?
It's nothing to do with the person I'd be moving in with... and everything to do with the fact that I'm the kind of person who can't stand constantly having other people around... especially people who talk all of the time (not that this person does... just sayin')
Sometimes I just need a break.
I was talking to someone recently and they revealed something along the lines of thinking that often they think they should just be dead.
It shocked me. I spend a lot of time thinking this lately... not that I want to kill myself, mind you... just that I'm not really sure, at all, why I'm still here.
I don't contribute to anything, no one is in love with me or needs me around, I'm not special or different or one of a kind to anyone...
I understand what it means now to lead a life of quiet desperation... because that's really the only way to describe it... as being gripped by despair.
On that somber and rather uninteresting note... (because honestly, randomly blurting out what is bothering me to a sea full of people I don't know really is, in some ways, comforting... like screaming from clifftops)
I think it's time I took a shower and tried to straighten my hair... it'll be disastrous :P