Music of the Fears: Sympathy for the Climate

[level_head]

Sympathy for the Climate

(with apologies to the Rolling Stones)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a climate Ph.D.
I’ve been around for a thousand grants
Made the data dance for me

And I was ’round when Hansen
Testified in Warhol fame
Made damn sure that Al Gore
Propped him up and made his name

Pleased to meet you
I’m from CRU
But what’s puzzling you
Is the “research” that I do

I tinkered with the temperatures
When the old years were in need of a change
Killed the Medieval Warming
And the tree rings screamed in vain

I wrote the trick
That would change lines quick
In the Hockey Stick
I was very slick

Pleased to meet you
This Hockey Stick’s not sport
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is the science I distort, oh yeah
(woo woo, woo woo)

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Lobbied Cap and Trade
For the god we made
(woo woo, woo woo)

I shouted out,
“Who killed integrity?”
When it was us,
CRU and me
(who who, who who)

Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of peer review
And I laid traps for skeptic works
That get killed before they get to you
(woo woo, who who)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my job, oh yeah
(who who)
But what’s puzzling you
Is the trillions we’ll help rob
yeah, get down, baby
(who who, who who)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my scheme, oh yeah
But what’s confusing you
Is my IPCC dream
(woo woo, who who)

Just as every skeptic’s a “denier”
We’re all climate science saints
As heads is tails
We’re Catastrophists
‘Cause you’re in need of some restraint
(who who, who who)

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
While I flavor graphs to my taste
(woo woo)
I’ll use all my well-honed rationales
To help “green” your world to waste, mmm yeah
(woo woo, woo woo)

Pleased to meet you
Did you fund my grant? mmm yeah
(who who)
But what’s puzzling me
‘Cause of ‘scandal’ now you can’t?
mmm mean it, get down
(woo woo, woo woo)

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
(woo woo)

Tell Obama, what’s my game
Tell the EU, can ya guess my game
Tell Australia, what’s my game
Look at the emails, you’re all to blame

Oh, who
woo, woo
Woo, who
Woo, woo
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What’s my name
Tell me China, what’s my game
Carbon Credits, I’m to blame

Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Woo, who, who
Oh, yeah
Woo woo
Woo woo

===|==============/ Keith DeHavelle

Originally published at DeHavelle.com. You can comment here or there.