(no subject)
I don't know how the fuck I slept last night, but this morning I woke up with some wicked neck pain.
Thankfully, I had a chiropractic appointment this morning, and for the first time in my life, I let the doc crack my neck. I've resisted for SO LONG because it physically repulses me - the sound, the idea of it all, ... you just don't FUCK with your spine, man! Especially where it connects to your skull. UGH.
And - it was just as gross as I knew it would be. Nasty. I even let him do it twice for both sides of my neck. Must be a part of that 'being a man' thing, putting up with shit that otherwise really freaks you out.
Alright, I cave. I wasn't 'a man' about it at all. Both times I visibly shuddered and actually said, "Fuck, I hate that sound. That was disgusting" to which the doc replied, "Well, then I guess you'd better take care of your neck or I'll have to do it to you again."
Smartass. I bet he loves his job.
So, in other news, I'm speaking at the TDOR event in Peterborough this coming Tuesday. My aunt... or cousin... I don't know, my RELATIVE in Peterborough is involved with it's organization, and I stupidly mentioned something over a year ago about being willing to speak at an event should she need me. I should've known she'd follow through on it. I really don't mind helping her out, seeing as she's been my 'gay' relative, the only person I've had any sort of solidarity with over the past few years. We've sort of banded together to fight off the disapproval of the family. Plus, her licence plates say 'WOMYN', which is awesome, because if you read the entire plate, it says 'Ontario WOMYN, yours to discover'. Amazing.
So now I'm the keynote speaker at the Trans Day of Remembrance in Peterborough, and I have to talk for 35 minutes. I'm more nervous for this than I think I've been for anything. It's a bunch of things, but it's mainly that I'll have to talk to an unfamiliar crowd of an unknown size for 35 minutes, and it's supposed to be a speech, so it's preferably done without too much looking at the notes... which scares the fuck out of me, because at least at other speaking engagements I've been able to stick to my notes. It's easier to be NOT nervous when you don't even have to look at the crowd. Anyways, I'm going to pull out some things from my thesis last year and shove them together into something that hopefully lasts 35 minutes. I'm worried about hecklers or other jerk-type people who might be present, because I don't know how I'd handle someone who kept interrupting with inappropriate comments... I suppose I have to face it at some point in my life, but the thought of being yelled at or insulted or otherwise berated in front of a crowd is terrifying for me. I'm also very aware that Peterborough is a very small town, and that this is only their second TDOR, and the first one that's been publicized, meaning anyone could show up.
They want me to talk about my experiences of transition, which I can do. That's easy enough. And I already have the material written for the most part. But I think I'm also going to raise some points about things that are usually pushed to the side during TDOR's. I want to talk about the difference between the terms 'transgender' and 'transsexual' and 'trans', and the problems in using 'transgender' as an umbrella term. I also want to talk about the fact that trans people are often lumped into the LGBT community, regardless of if they identify as such, and regardless of if LGB people actually LIKE trans people. I want to talk about the hostilities and violences that exist for trans people within lesbian and gay spaces. I'm also going to address the missing race, gender, and class components that usually get skipping over during TDOR's, such as the fact that the overwhelming majority of people on the so-called roster are trans women of colour, particularly those who are/were sex workers.
So, it's not like I'm going to run under time. Does anyone else have anything else they think I should mention? I'm always open to suggestions, because I definitely know that I can't think of everything.
Alright, back to work for me. cheers.
Thankfully, I had a chiropractic appointment this morning, and for the first time in my life, I let the doc crack my neck. I've resisted for SO LONG because it physically repulses me - the sound, the idea of it all, ... you just don't FUCK with your spine, man! Especially where it connects to your skull. UGH.
And - it was just as gross as I knew it would be. Nasty. I even let him do it twice for both sides of my neck. Must be a part of that 'being a man' thing, putting up with shit that otherwise really freaks you out.
Alright, I cave. I wasn't 'a man' about it at all. Both times I visibly shuddered and actually said, "Fuck, I hate that sound. That was disgusting" to which the doc replied, "Well, then I guess you'd better take care of your neck or I'll have to do it to you again."
Smartass. I bet he loves his job.
So, in other news, I'm speaking at the TDOR event in Peterborough this coming Tuesday. My aunt... or cousin... I don't know, my RELATIVE in Peterborough is involved with it's organization, and I stupidly mentioned something over a year ago about being willing to speak at an event should she need me. I should've known she'd follow through on it. I really don't mind helping her out, seeing as she's been my 'gay' relative, the only person I've had any sort of solidarity with over the past few years. We've sort of banded together to fight off the disapproval of the family. Plus, her licence plates say 'WOMYN', which is awesome, because if you read the entire plate, it says 'Ontario WOMYN, yours to discover'. Amazing.
So now I'm the keynote speaker at the Trans Day of Remembrance in Peterborough, and I have to talk for 35 minutes. I'm more nervous for this than I think I've been for anything. It's a bunch of things, but it's mainly that I'll have to talk to an unfamiliar crowd of an unknown size for 35 minutes, and it's supposed to be a speech, so it's preferably done without too much looking at the notes... which scares the fuck out of me, because at least at other speaking engagements I've been able to stick to my notes. It's easier to be NOT nervous when you don't even have to look at the crowd. Anyways, I'm going to pull out some things from my thesis last year and shove them together into something that hopefully lasts 35 minutes. I'm worried about hecklers or other jerk-type people who might be present, because I don't know how I'd handle someone who kept interrupting with inappropriate comments... I suppose I have to face it at some point in my life, but the thought of being yelled at or insulted or otherwise berated in front of a crowd is terrifying for me. I'm also very aware that Peterborough is a very small town, and that this is only their second TDOR, and the first one that's been publicized, meaning anyone could show up.
They want me to talk about my experiences of transition, which I can do. That's easy enough. And I already have the material written for the most part. But I think I'm also going to raise some points about things that are usually pushed to the side during TDOR's. I want to talk about the difference between the terms 'transgender' and 'transsexual' and 'trans', and the problems in using 'transgender' as an umbrella term. I also want to talk about the fact that trans people are often lumped into the LGBT community, regardless of if they identify as such, and regardless of if LGB people actually LIKE trans people. I want to talk about the hostilities and violences that exist for trans people within lesbian and gay spaces. I'm also going to address the missing race, gender, and class components that usually get skipping over during TDOR's, such as the fact that the overwhelming majority of people on the so-called roster are trans women of colour, particularly those who are/were sex workers.
So, it's not like I'm going to run under time. Does anyone else have anything else they think I should mention? I'm always open to suggestions, because I definitely know that I can't think of everything.
Alright, back to work for me. cheers.