(no subject)
why, oh why, do i feel so high. sittin on my ass in this dark little room. haven't touched drugs in quite a while. stomach might come up, and spill some bile. shit, this shit is so fucked up, it's almost cristmas and i haven't even gone shopping yet. don't even know what i would get. over and over my mind dose drift, with no grisley death or rediculous circumstance would my eyebrows lift. i miss my love so much, and we hardly ever see each other anymore, and when we do, i can't even touch. mystefied eye, and undisturbed ear, even with music i cannot hear. it's all numb, i feel dumb, deaf, and blind, i'm goin' out of my mind. is it the holidays that make me go crazy, or do i for some reason just feel hazy. like a hangover from a bunch of weed, i feel the urge, i feel the need. not for the drugs or alcohol just him, to get me outa this mood that i'm in. a simple phone call, perhaps that would suffice,but before i call i no longer think twice. i know that somewhere he is he feels the same. after all we share the same brain. and when i'm in this re-lapse mode, i can't help but want to leave this abode. my sister looks like she's commin' down off speed, and when she yells she seems like me, what is the deal with my vibrating knee. i hope i don't grow up to walk all funny, turn in to those homeless people without any money. and be all ignored, and sit there be bored, flyin' a sighn while the cars drive by, without a person in the world to take me byt their side. today i did a tarot reading, and the results gave me a bad feeling. but perhaps they're wrong, maybe i messed up. the forture it told was severely fucked up.