pulling up socksch
Recently in accepting many realizations.
The thorny truths as I put it lol.
Cannot force certain family to mesh the way I had hoped.
Hell I let my heart hope for too much really.
That it all was the definition of crazy I guess.
Hearing it be put that way. I must of been one of those..
Well I know I am not bat shit crazy,
Sure have been upside down but from circumstances ive had to keep swimming through to not drown.
Not to mention, I have a loud imagination sometimes too sighs.
I can embrace some of it, but not let it get the best of me anymore.
By embracing it, I will tune further in to what is more meant for me.
Maybe I am to leave here for good.
Dont know if anyone wants me here, unless its shown.
Not with one of my family members, after living together many times.
Never again.
And if not shown with anyone else from here, where id want it to be from.
Ill look at going out West.
Or go somewhere out where my dad is.
Not sure.
Either way, I have to make a plan soon because I cannot rot in the mess I fell back into.
Its no ones fault, I have to live with my choices.
My choice and priority now is to clean up my mess, help my dad who is just the best, and seriously resilient.
And get on with it.
No time to cry, already have and what does it ever recreate -
Nothing but stale energy.
The thorny truths as I put it lol.
Cannot force certain family to mesh the way I had hoped.
Hell I let my heart hope for too much really.
That it all was the definition of crazy I guess.
Hearing it be put that way. I must of been one of those..
Well I know I am not bat shit crazy,
Sure have been upside down but from circumstances ive had to keep swimming through to not drown.
Not to mention, I have a loud imagination sometimes too sighs.
I can embrace some of it, but not let it get the best of me anymore.
By embracing it, I will tune further in to what is more meant for me.
Maybe I am to leave here for good.
Dont know if anyone wants me here, unless its shown.
Not with one of my family members, after living together many times.
Never again.
And if not shown with anyone else from here, where id want it to be from.
Ill look at going out West.
Or go somewhere out where my dad is.
Not sure.
Either way, I have to make a plan soon because I cannot rot in the mess I fell back into.
Its no ones fault, I have to live with my choices.
My choice and priority now is to clean up my mess, help my dad who is just the best, and seriously resilient.
And get on with it.
No time to cry, already have and what does it ever recreate -
Nothing but stale energy.