Dear Maddie,

[letterstomaddie]

I am happy.

I am full of hope and love and faith.

I trust myself.

I’m proud of myself.

I am a good clinician on my way to becoming a great clinician.

The relationships I have chosen to surround myself with are healthy and supportive. Also fun.

The relationships I was born into are easier to navigate, easier to understand than they’ve ever been before.

My horse loves and respects me every bit as much as I love and respect him.

Also my cat.

I’m actually really pretty good with horses.

And kids. Who knew!

I just started renting this adorable house.

With Kim.

I didn’t think I was ready for Kim, but Hanne gave me a good talking to about what it meant to really try, so I stepped out of character and did something brave.

Turns out I was ready, after all.

I feel safe.

I feel capable.

I know that I can and will be alright, whatever happens.

I help people.

I’m finishing up my masters. I have an interview with a doctoral program Friday.

I have plans.

I want to get up in the morning.

I still have a lot of things to work on, but I’m good with where I am now, where I’m going, and how I’m getting there.

I am so very, very happy.

I miss you.

I don’t think there will ever be a time when there is not a part of me that loves you. I don’t think I want there to be. I like loving you. I have learned that it does not take away from anything and it does not lessen or negate the love I have left for other things and other people.

I wish you all the best, all the happiness there is to have.

I wish we still sent letters.

Always,

M