just when you think you know exactly whats going on.....
so today was a waste of a day
i woke up at three went online and jumped in the shower.. i waited for alli to respond to my messages and two calls but she didnt. i went online and she has plans with amanda... ohh wow supprise.....
yesterday we talked i thought she understood everything but i guess not. i told her that i was upset how amanda is ALWAYS there and i think that she puts her before me.. she told me i had nothing to worry about bc we have been best friends for 12 years.. well i think i do.
the point of not going to vanessa bday dinner was so i could see alli first.. and her hair, kinda to show that i was def her best. but then i talk to her online and guess what!!!!!!!!! she going to the movies with amanda!!!! well she invited me but knows how much i hate the movies so i said just fuck it. she thought we had plans for friday but how would that make me see her first?? so now i dont know what to think and maybe im thinking a little too much into this but also in her profile my names comes after "hers".this is kinda pissing me off but im not really mad.. its more that im loosing my best friend.its not that i dont like amanda or dont like hanging out with her but does she always have to be there.. liek every single fucking time we hang out?
she doesnt understand whats going through my head and its because i didint tell her.ill explain it later but right now im almost in tears because im just so fustrated.i really cant explain the mood but i hate feeling this way.
i really wish i went to vanessas too bc it would have been such a lighter mood.
and alli thinks that while i was hanging out with another group of friends i didnt think about her? well i always do, i kept bringing her up and even went to go visit her? well i dont know this is just making me really.. well i cant explain.
LauraBeth is comming home in about an hour, ill see what shes doing
at times liek theses i appriciate my sister the most.. i love her so much and dont want her to move but w/e ill just visit her a lot
ugh well im just a little moody right now so this might have came out bitchy, but i didnt mean it in that way... its just a little about what im feeling right now.. i dont know if u want to talk call my cell to cheer me up
....... you dont know anything at all
(i also miss hanging out with brittany, lizi, jen and meagan.... A LOT)
i love vanessa too <3..... i hope we dont fight again for a long time <3