(no subject)
If I was up in the middle of the night doing insomnia*-fueled art, does that mean I'm living the dream?
I don't mean that in a pun way that references sleep. What I mean is that I pictured myself, wishfully, as someone who stayed up all night playing with metal.
Doesn't FEEL like an accomplishment, possibly because I was doing some very algorithmic parts of the process, rather than the fun, really-creative parts.
I'm just like, I made a frame. Big deal.
A lot of art is busywork, and I love it for that.
But this just makes me wonder. All the stuff that potentially lets you be brilliant has such a low ratio of those moments of "Brilliant!!" to the many many hours of mindless repetition and other forms of drudgery**.
Science, I've noticed, is the same way.
You may have that moment that's like, "I'm a genius genius!***"
But THEN you have to write a grant, and get it funded, and run a study, and analyze the result of the study, only to find out that either
a) well, the data may sort of hint towards that you are right, if you spin them this specific way, and/or
b) the data indicate that you were full of shit substantially incorrect to begin with.
I dunno, it's just something I ponder, how much of anything is truly the essence of what you love about it?
Maybe I'm being excessively negative.
Part of the problem, also, is probably that I was watching St Elmo's Fire at the time, which is like a watered-down, crappy Dead Poet's Society, only co-ed and with more fail.
*I guess it's not really insomnia if you fall asleep at 7 and wake up at 1:30. It's pretty much just the intermission between sleep shifts 1 and 2. My sleep is, by some people's standards, incredibly screwed up. I can't decide if I think it is or not. "Should I fix this?....meh...I did want to have awesome middle-of-the-nights doing ART, after all..."
**I want a nicer word for this, as there are many types of drudgery (especially of the mindless type) that I enjoy, but it's eluding me.
***http://www.mp3lyrics.org/h/hair/manchester-england/ HAPPY THANKSGIVING
I don't mean that in a pun way that references sleep. What I mean is that I pictured myself, wishfully, as someone who stayed up all night playing with metal.
Doesn't FEEL like an accomplishment, possibly because I was doing some very algorithmic parts of the process, rather than the fun, really-creative parts.
I'm just like, I made a frame. Big deal.
A lot of art is busywork, and I love it for that.
But this just makes me wonder. All the stuff that potentially lets you be brilliant has such a low ratio of those moments of "Brilliant!!" to the many many hours of mindless repetition and other forms of drudgery**.
Science, I've noticed, is the same way.
You may have that moment that's like, "I'm a genius genius!***"
But THEN you have to write a grant, and get it funded, and run a study, and analyze the result of the study, only to find out that either
a) well, the data may sort of hint towards that you are right, if you spin them this specific way, and/or
b) the data indicate that you were full of shit substantially incorrect to begin with.
I dunno, it's just something I ponder, how much of anything is truly the essence of what you love about it?
Maybe I'm being excessively negative.
Part of the problem, also, is probably that I was watching St Elmo's Fire at the time, which is like a watered-down, crappy Dead Poet's Society, only co-ed and with more fail.
*I guess it's not really insomnia if you fall asleep at 7 and wake up at 1:30. It's pretty much just the intermission between sleep shifts 1 and 2. My sleep is, by some people's standards, incredibly screwed up. I can't decide if I think it is or not. "Should I fix this?....meh...I did want to have awesome middle-of-the-nights doing ART, after all..."
**I want a nicer word for this, as there are many types of drudgery (especially of the mindless type) that I enjoy, but it's eluding me.
***http://www.mp3lyrics.org/h/hair/manchester-england/ HAPPY THANKSGIVING